Not sure if this is under the right category, but I've got a serious problem..

[IamScrewed]

A year and a half ago, I started was involved with someone and it was forbidden so after getting caught seeing each other so many times, we decided it was time to stop ruining our lives and wait for a while. One year has gone by since we stopped talking and I finally found a guy I really love. Very soon after I got into this new relationship, my ex got back in touch with me. And from then on, it's been a complete disaster.

 

I had my heart set on telling him it was over, but he's so crazy, madly, unbelievably in love with me that I can't get myself to end it. We never ended it, we just got separated against our will for a while. And he's telling me to break up with my current boyfriend. It's just horrible.

 

I have two guys telling me they love me. I don't know what to do. Like I said, I love my boyfriend, but I can't let my ex go. We literally destroyed our lives for each other. And now he feels like he ruined his life for nothing. What do I do? And either way, I can't be open about these relationships for probably a year. So any action that takes place will be put off until I'm allowed to take action once again.

[torranceshipman]

The kindest, most resoectful and best thing-by far-is to let a person know very clearly that you aren't in love with them, and that there is no reason for them to wait or hope for more. Just be really honest-I know it's hard but it's the best thing to do.

[IamScrewed]

Thank you so much, but there's something I forgot to write. I'm pretty sure I'm still in love with my ex. If I wasn't in love with him still, I never would have wanted to talk to him again. If I didn't love him, I could have ignored his calls and it wouldn't have bothered me.. right? I just don't know..

 

And I already told him I'm still in love with him.

 

Like my screen name says, I am screwed

[norajane]

And either way, I can't be open about these relationships for probably a year. So any action that takes place will be put off until I'm allowed to take action once again.

 

I won't even pretend to understand this year thing, but if that's the case, then tell them both you have to back off and don't see either of them for a year. And don't string them along with phone calls and what not.

 

Get your head screwed on straight during that year, and then maybe, maybe, you'll actually be ready to date somebody. But not either of them. Because if you "really love" your current guy, and are still "in love" with your ex, then you don't love either of them enough to actually be fully with either one. It would be crystal clear to you if you "really" loved either one.

[hoping2heal]

Thank you so much, but there's something I forgot to write. I'm pretty sure I'm still in love with my ex. If I wasn't in love with him still, I never would have wanted to talk to him again. If I didn't love him, I could have ignored his calls and it wouldn't have bothered me.. right? I just don't know..

 

And I already told him I'm still in love with him.

 

Like my screen name says, I am screwed

 

No, you aren't screwed at all. You are in love with your ex boyfriend, that is the man you really want to be with. Do the humane thing and end things with your current boyfriend and get back with your ex. Your current boyfriend deserves someone who is in love with him, and you're not doing him ANY favors giving him a pitty relationship. If what you really want is your ex, then go back with him. Staying with this guy because you feel guilty or obligated isn't giving him a fair shot at fidning someone more compatible for him, etc.

[Hkizzle]

I would say if the barriers in place that made it impossible are gone now, then get back with your ex. If they are still in place however and your parents will literally disown you for getting involved, then you got to realize your parents are selfish and you need to find your own happiness.

[fatamus]

Parents can cause a lot of negative influence that's for sure. Stop playing games and deep down inside you know who you want, it might not be the perfect match but that doesn't really matter. Doing favors for anyone wont get you anywhere.

[stace79]

It sounds like you are VERY young. I would propose that you don't love either of these guys and that you are just attracted to the drama. I say break it off with both and learn more about yourself and how to love people successfully before getting into ANY relationship.