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Posted

I am getting married in two months and I am unsure if I am doing the right thing. We have a child together and have been together for a few years. During that time I have discovered porn sites that he has visited frequently and when confronted he has denyed the fact until I have threatened to leave. He then breaks down and says that he has a problem and that it will not happen again. This has happened on three seperate occasions as well as other lies that I have discovered (ie fatal illness, non-existing jobs etc). He claims that he has never masturbated and only watches porn because he likes to look at it. I told him at the start of the relationship that I had previous problems in my last relationship and I didn't care if he watched porn, just not to lie to me about it because that makes me worry he is hiding something else.

 

He is also very flirtatious with my friends and other women and when I found him looking at pictures of his female friends on facebook he claimed that it was to put together a photo collection for me for the wedding (even though the girls he was looking at are not invited and some I don't even know).

 

I am so confused as to what to do... any help would be greatly appreciated :o

Posted

The only thing you should be considering, at this stage, in my opinion, is good care for your child.

he's not a good role model, and I don't think he is good husband material, either.

Really, you need to tell him -m not ask him, tell him - that you consider marriage completely off the cards unless he completely changes his behaviour AND you go to counselling.

 

But I don't see this as a short term solution.

You have a job on your hands here, and in your shoes, I'm not sure the work conditions are all that attractive.....

Posted

you are right to have doubts.

calling off a wedding is a very difficult thing, but if you feel deep down it is what you want to do, take a deep breath, do it.

 

no-one knows your relationship like you do, take a bit of time to really think about what benefits you and your child from being with your partner.

 

it does sound like your man is a compulsive liar, if so, how can you ever be sure of what he says?

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