spinner77 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I have found many helpful responses and would really like to hear yours on mine. I met my ex 8 years ago, as she is a relative of a relative by marriage. We dated a little but she was 20 and I was 25 and lived in different countries, so I never let it get serious even though she wanted it. My relatives were concerned also about creating additional burdens for the my newly married relative (a long story) and also because they felt she has a lot of emotional issues at that age. We kept in touch all these years and had little flings, but nothing major when we were in the same country and available. This feb year she was breaking up with her boyfriend and I was single and planning on moving to her city for work. She came to visit her family and we went. We went out, we kissed and it started. We went on a weekend trip. She suggested that we become more serious. We spoke of marriage, of children over these months. She went on a trip with my family and me, and told them of our plans (i didnt find out about this until we broke up). The first weeks after my move now 8 months into relationship. Things were great. We still made plans, still did family type things. Then things changed. She would be tired, busy at work. She stopped talking to my friends and family, eventually breaking up with me via text. I met with her a few days later requiring an explanation but she made excuses. Several days later, she asked me dinner to tell me to try again. I noted that marriage and all that had always been more her idea than mine. All I wanted was a loving stable relationship regardless of what form it took, marriage included. Things were good for several days and then she became annoyed at my phone calls and questions as to what was happening. She broke up with me again via email. (I found out she has been in touch with her ex, but I am not sure how far it went.) I met with her family out of a mutual friends party a coincidence, and they told me it best not to go out with her. She was like this and they liked me and didn't want me to be hurt. I went into NC for a couple of weeks and now after a couple of emails she believes that she is ready to be the person she and I both want her to be and wants to prove it to me. I will meet her this weekend. Any suggestions? Thanks all in advance. -S ps I do love her. she is worth it for me, but of course i want it to work not, and be in a cycle of this.
NopeNah Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If her family's warning you, thats a huge sign, IMO.
smookie Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 It is a really big sign if her family is warning you... Now if it was your family doing the warning I would say follow your heart... With this one I say not to get back with her. She will just continue to do this to you. In the end you will be heart broken. Best of luck
Author spinner77 Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Thank you. I appreciate your concern a lot. Its what I thought of course, but it helps to hear others. I guess the sad part is her doubt/immaturity/instability whatever it may be. Someone who you love, and in some way also loves you but is not capable of following through on the words. I am meeting with her, but will keep any plans off the table - and give myself time. who knows in the future, right? thanks s
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