lofi_tokyo Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 So a while back I mentioned how I had a one night stand, and how I thought it was weird, because I had been acquaintances with this guy for ages, and then out of no where we drunkenly slept together. He went from being someone I saw once or twice a year to this guy that was on my radar. We didnt talk or see one another for two months, I figured our ONS was just that, a ONS. Then suddenly last week I get this message on facebook from him. He apologised for not having made conversation with me the other day and asked how I was. Well we started messaging eachother back and fourth, which eventually lead to me admitting that: I was so confused about what happened between us. I thought it was awkward how we went from aquiantences to whatever, and that I didn't regret what happened. He said pretty much the same thing and added that He told me he's really inexperienced with relationships/sex and it makes him feel a bit awkward.. then he suggested that we take time to get to know eachother better, and told me when he is free this week. I said that sounded great and offered times that worked for me, and asked him when he thought would be best. Well, he hasn't gotten back to me. Its been two days now, which I realize is not terribly long, but our messages back and fourth prior to this have been going back and fourth quite quickly. I know he has checked his facebook because he has commented on a few photos. Whats going on here? Any ideas? Am I being to antsy?
northstar1 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 So a while back I mentioned how I had a one night stand, and how I thought it was weird, because I had been acquaintances with this guy for ages, and then out of no where we drunkenly slept together. He went from being someone I saw once or twice a year to this guy that was on my radar. We didnt talk or see one another for two months, I figured our ONS was just that, a ONS. Then suddenly last week I get this message on facebook from him. He apologised for not having made conversation with me the other day and asked how I was. Well we started messaging eachother back and fourth, which eventually lead to me admitting that: I was so confused about what happened between us. I thought it was awkward how we went from aquiantences to whatever, and that I didn't regret what happened. He said pretty much the same thing and added that He told me he's really inexperienced with relationships/sex and it makes him feel a bit awkward.. then he suggested that we take time to get to know eachother better, and told me when he is free this week. I said that sounded great and offered times that worked for me, and asked him when he thought would be best. Well, he hasn't gotten back to me. Its been two days now, which I realize is not terribly long, but our messages back and fourth prior to this have been going back and fourth quite quickly. I know he has checked his facebook because he has commented on a few photos. Whats going on here? Any ideas? Am I being to antsy? Well, TV, welcome back! Honestly, sounds like he was looking for another ONS, or really , a "Bootycall". Otherwise, why wait two months to be in touch if he was looking for something more?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I question why he needed to bring up his so- called " shortcomings" ? I doubt he was trying to apologize so much as coming up with an excuse to make you see him in a better light in regards to the lack of contact. In any case, if you see him as a ONS please keep him on that list. ONSs' never turn into anything serious and the other person often loses respect for you other than to see you as an easy lay/ booty call.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Well, TV, welcome back! Honestly, sounds like he was looking for another ONS, or really , a "Bootycall". Otherwise, why wait two months to be in touch if he was looking for something more? Thanks for the welcome back! And... thanks to both of you for the quick replies. I guess something I did not articulate well in my initial post is that this guy is incredibly shy around women (at least ones he has some sort of romantic interest in). I know this because his roomate is a very good friend of mine. The basic structure of our messages back and fourth were something along these lines: -He messages me in a formal tone, asking how I am and apologizing for not having said hi the other evening. -I tell him how I am, ask how he is, and joke about how formal he sounds. -He apologizes for sounding formal, he says its because he feels kind of awkward, then tells me about himself. -I talk about how I understand the awkwardness, since we just kind of hooked up out of no where. -He says he had wanted to bring this up with me for ages, but didn't know how to do it, was happy I did. He told me how pretty I am etc etc then suggested that now that all was said and done maybe we should hang out to get to know eachother, as we hadn't before. So I DON'T THINK this was a booty call. He really doesn't strike me as the type, and his roomate even commented on how he (the roomate) thinks its cute how this guy is trying so awkwardly to talk to me. In any event, the end result is the same - he hasn't gotten back to me! Even if it WAS a bootycall, wouldn't he have set up a time to hook up? My original question remains: why hasn't he replied!?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 In lieu of your question, what do you expect to happen if he does reply? Getting back to platonic status is out, and settling to having sex from time to time will probably make you feel horrible and slightly cheap. And there's no definitive answer to your question: -His computer could have crashed and he's only checking on his facebook for updates - He's read your message and still contemplating but doesn't know how to interact with you ( because of his supposed timid nature) - He has other options but is keeping your offer in the air - He has plans and wants to wait until the last minute to reply to you etc... etc.... Eh, you get the idea. And if it is a booty call, most guys would wait until they're actually horny to initiate contact.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Hahahaha I liked the last line of your post Papercut. Thanks You're right in asking what I expect out of all of this. I honestly don't know! Its good that you're kind of keeping me at a realistic level though - One Night Stands don't typically turn into relationships. I'm not sure what I'm waiting on, but if it IS something relationship like, its likely I'm on my way to a lot of hurt. Ugh! Lesson: I am not the ONS type.
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