Telling Wife HAD NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING!!!

[movingforward]

I have to say that I'm still confused... I'm not at all sure why you posted here to begin with. Can you tell us WHY? Are you looking for people to validate your decision? Are you trying to rub it in to the OW on this board that you have it so much better than them? Are you looking for sympathy? Because I, for one, am lost.

 

You keep saying how happy you are, but everything else you say doesn't back it up. Everything you post seems like a desperate need to validate to everyone here that you are indeed happy and you are living with the perfect situation. But again, you don't sound happy.

 

To be honest, your life sounds like a mess. It sounds incredibly difficult and you don't seem at all interested in improving your situation. While you got yourself into this situation, you certainly can find a way out. I would suggest counseling for you to understand why you are so willing to accept so little for yourself.

 

There's a reason that your AP is only around 10% of the time, and as I know you don't want to hear it, it isn't just work. Not only does he have a wife and other children, you have admitted yourself that he has other women besides yourself. Your "perfect" man is a philanderer... and just because you decided to give yourself a bit of insurance by having multiple kids with him doesn't change that fact.

 

You teach people how to treat you. And you have taught him to give you as little as possible.

 

And you say that you'd would advise your sons not to stay in a marriage if they aren't happy? I think you have bigger problems, my friend. Those boys don't stand a chance of having healthy, meaningful and equal relationships with women because they are living with the biggest example of what they can get away with. By your actions, inactions, and by condoning what their "father" is doing, it is tantamount to telling them that being a philandering SOB and having multiple children out of wedlock is not only acceptable, but desirable. YOU are the biggest influence in their life (since their sperm donor isn't ever around)... think now about the message that you want to send to them -- about what kind of men you want them to grow up to be and what kind of woman they deserve. You may have had these kids for the wrong reasons, but they are here now and it is your responsibility to make sure they grow up as unaffected by this bulls**t situation you have allowed. I'm begging you -- DO SOMETHING NOW. Don't mess them up for the rest of their lives. Because this WILL... I promise you.

[GorillaTheater]

he can have a vasectomy whenever he wants...

 

my 1st two children are not his...i was married for nearly a decade, faithful and divorced before meeting my MM.

 

I love children...it has nothing to do with it being a career. I am college educated and have my education to fall back on for my own personal support. But yes, as a father's responsibiltiy they should and will pay child support. And let me tell you money is NOT a father...my nanny is more of a husband than he is and he knows that...trust me I dont let him think he is perfect nor the situation... in regards to the children right now.

 

But as far as our personal relationship and his wife knowing, I have zero guilt being OW. ANY BS that stays with a man knowing he has another life/family with OW is on her.

 

You know, I've read some of this thread and your other threads, and have to echo the question that you've been asked before: what is it that you're looking for here? It sure as hell can't be positive reinforcement, and you don't seem to be seeking advice, so what is it? Why are you here? If I had any idea, I'd honestly try to help.

[TogetherForever]

Basically, was very polite, apologetic, that I was sorry that I didnt know he was married when we were together 1st year and had 1st child, after that I was already in love with him. But I had doubts that he was being honest with me that he had told her and I felt she had right to know...I didnt want him playing us against each other. If she had any questions for me I would answer them at any time and gave her my phone number.

 

thats basically it...I probably would have had more to say, but I was in labor and my hormone were going crazy...

 

 

So what did his wife say to you? "Ok honey, hold on I'll get my husband for you"?

 

[nocontact2]

its not in his family morals/religion/etc. to divorce once married. So, whatever the real reason(s) may be it (after all this time) really doesnt matter.

 

AS I said before, I will either eventually marry him or we will just continue the family as it is...

 

I love him, his children love him...he knows Im not going anywhere.

[georgia girl]

Seems to me what you really want is to blow their marriage out of the water in the hope that once he realizes he can't go back to his old family that he'll decide to be with his new family. Since he's not going to budge, you're focusing on the wife to get her to budge.

 

If he's so famous, why don't you just go public? That would blow the marriage out of the water, as well as yourself, him, his wife and all of the children involved. Of course, that could all be considered collateral damage compared to getting what you want?

[herenow]

Basically, was very polite, apologetic, that I was sorry that I didnt know he was married when we were together 1st year and had 1st child, after that I was already in love with him. But I had doubts that he was being honest with me that he had told her and I felt she had right to know...I didnt want him playing us against each other. If she had any questions for me I would answer them at any time and gave her my phone number.

 

thats basically it...I probably would have had more to say, but I was in labor and my hormone were going crazy...

 

How nice of you. If he is so high profile and needs to stay married, how could you not know he was married when you first met? Makes no sense. If this story would be so massive in the headlines, are you so out of touch with reality that you didn't know he had a wife?

 

I call BS on this story (and I'm not saying BS as in Betrayed spouse).

[nocontact2]

He wasnt there he on way back into state...he was at hospital when he got in.

she sad she was having a dinner party and would have to call me back later.

 

I posted because I saw so many OW telling the BS so I wanted to share how mine ended up because it still makes no sense to me???

 

She didnt fight for him, get upset, seem surprised, nothing???????

 

Does that mean she is emotionally dead in the marriage??? Then why stay married? kids are all grown and gone?

[Dexter Morgan]

he can have a vasectomy whenever he wants...

 

so? if a guy can afford 50 children, why take a knife to his nutsack if he doesn't have to?

 

 

I love children...it has nothing to do with it being a career. I am college educated and have my education to fall back on for my own personal support.

 

really, what was your major?

 

 

But yes, as a father's responsibiltiy they should and will pay child support. And let me tell you money is NOT a father...my nanny is more of a husband than he is and he knows that

 

so why not then marry your nanny? If a nanny is more of a husband, then why would you want to marry such a pr!ck?

 

 

trust me I dont let him think he is perfect nor the situation...

 

 

nah, you'd just marry him whenever, whereever, and however long it takes while he is using you for sex on the side.

 

I think he knows he is perfect enough to have you and his wife wrapped around his finger. Narcissists think they are perfect.

 

 

But as far as our personal relationship and his wife knowing, I have zero guilt being OW. ANY BS that stays with a man knowing he has another life/family with OW is on her.

 

I agree, she is a fool, unless she has an end goal of making sure his retirement, assets, and death benefits go to her.

[herenow]

He wasnt there he on way back into state...he was at hospital when he got in.

she sad she was having a dinner party and would have to call me back later.

 

I posted because I saw so many OW telling the BS so I wanted to share how mine ended up because it still makes no sense to me???

 

She didnt fight for him, get upset, seem surprised, nothing???????

 

Does that mean she is emotionally dead in the marriage??? Then why stay married? kids are all grown and gone?

 

Maybe she loves him. She is married to the man. Question is, why does he stay?

[nocontact2]

not high profile like an actor...high profile that in certain circles he is well known.

 

i only live 6 miles from him. i have no reason to go public and put myself or any of the children in the media spotlight.

[Dexter Morgan]

Basically, was very polite, apologetic, that I was sorry that I didnt know he was married when we were together 1st year and had 1st child, after that I was already in love with him.

 

once again, bullsh#t lady. you already said you have no guilt, so why would you tell her you are sorry about anything when you aren't?

 

you called to rub it in her face, plain and simple.

 

 

But I had doubts that he was being honest with me that he had told her and I felt she had right to know

 

bullsh#t again, you could care less what right you think she has. You said it yourself, she knows that he is a cheating pr!ck and stays with him anyway.

 

and you could have let her know this "right" after it was over. I think you wanted her to know that it was happening RIGHT AT THE VERY SECOND you called her.

 

You were surprised at her reaction, and it wasn't the reaction you had hoped for...THAT is the whole premise of this despicable thread.

[herenow]

not high profile like an actor...high profile that in certain circles he is well known.

 

i only live 6 miles from him. i have no reason to go public and put myself or any of the children in the media spotlight.

 

Well, he is high profile enough that news about his affair would be in all the papers. That's what you said a few post ago. Unless he has a really big circle.

[nocontact2]

im a CPA...

 

I dont know why either of them stay in the marriage...

 

at this point and so far into our relationship and family Ive given up on letting it be something I focus on...

 

if he/she leaves the marriage they do, if they dont they dont, either way the relationship as it is now, is minimal of what it will be.

[nocontact2]

circle is big enough that she wants facade to stay that they have the all american family/marriage.

[Dexter Morgan]

I posted because I saw so many OW telling the BS so I wanted to share how mine ended up because it still makes no sense to me???

 

She didnt fight for him, get upset, seem surprised, nothing???????

 

 

Yup, all the emotions you were HOPING to extract from her. Didn't get her goat, sorry.

[herenow]

its not in his family morals/religion/etc. to divorce once married. ing

 

And having babies with women other than his wife is in his family morals/religion/etc?

 

Did I say BS already?

[herenow]

circle is big enough that she wants facade to stay that they have the all american family/marriage.

 

What about all the newspapers and magazines. Why would they care?

 

Here is what you said:

 

"Im not worried about wife if something happens to him, if she did contest it you would all know who we are because it would be biggest public people magazine cover around...and she doesnt want any tarnishment on her ficticious perfect marriage to her high society friends."

[Dexter Morgan]

i have no reason to go public and put myself or any of the children in the media spotlight.

 

why not, if what you have is oh so beautiful...whats the problem?

[GorillaTheater]

Yup, all the emotions you were HOPING to extract from her. Didn't get her goat, sorry.

 

If you are posting here to seek input on the wife's reaction, I'm going with Dex here.

 

Happy to help.

[georgia girl]

Ah, but if she goes public, then he's very likely to turn on her. She's calculated that risk. That's why she keeps going after the wife. He's not budging - and I would bet that he has no intention of ever leaving his wife. Her logic is that his "old" family is now grown so there's no reason to stay in that family or in that marriage. He can still have his first children, but now it's time to focus on his "new" family and his pending three children.

 

Fact is, he's not making that call and your actions speak of desperation. You've not only had one child but are having a third and you, by your own admission, have repeatedly tried to contact the wife. If you can accept what he's offering and can somehow explain it to your children, then have at it. But, the reality of your situation seems unlikely to ever change.

[herenow]

not high profile like an actor...high profile that in certain circles he is well known.

 

i only live 6 miles from him. i have no reason to go public and put myself or any of the children in the media spotlight.

 

Wait, I thought your children were actors. That is what you said earlier on this thread. Doesn't that put them in the media spotlight?

 

When making up your story, you should go back and read what you wrote. Remember, what you say on the WWW is here forever.

[herenow]

Please tell me how is it that you didn't know he was married when you first met him? He is high profile. His wife stays to keep the image. Your affair would be big news. How can it be that you were unaware of his wife long enough to have your first child with him?

[Ariadne]

its not in his family morals/religion/etc. to divorce once married. So, whatever the real reason(s) may be it (after all this time) really doesnt matter.

 

AS I said before, I will either eventually marry him or we will just continue the family as it is...

 

I love him, his children love him...he knows Im not going anywhere.

 

Nocontact,

 

Congratulations on your baby.

 

I'm not sure why you come here though. People here seem to just attack you and dislike you.

 

I think what you are doing is wonderful, in the sense that you get to be with the man you love, that you were able to have many children with him, and that he is providing for all you you (which is very difficult nowadays to find).

 

I think what you have is pretty happy, at least the times he spends in your house are family like, I can see that.

 

Hopefully he'll stay with you for the long run, and who knows, maybe you'll get married.

[herenow]

Nocontact,

 

Congratulations on your baby.

 

I'm not sure why you come here though. People here seem to just attack you and dislike you.

 

.

 

We don't dislike her, we are just confused and she doesn't seem to be able to answer our questions. Her story doesn't make any sense. It has changed with every thread she starts.

[bentnotbroken]

had hcg level done today...167 at 4 weeks since last period.

ive been so nauseated for a week now i can hardly sleep it begins late at night and goes most of early afternoon to the point all i can do is sleep the afternoon away exhausted...

could this be twins????????? may 29, 2009

 

 

I did, when I was in labor with our 2nd child, alone again....she doesnt know about new pregnancy...we just found out ourselves.

She doesnt care...she said to contact their attorney and never call her again.so I never called her again.

May 29, 2009

 

 

The post below are inconsitantcies to the bolded statements.

 

We have 3 young children together...we have been together for a very long time...with me being "faithful" of course he keeps me pregnant all the time....he looks at me sideways and I am pregnant. I told him I am tired of being pregnant he needs a vasectomy.

. July 27, 2009

 

Posted July 26, 2009;

I have spoke to my MM BW several times. Even left messages on the home phone, given her my phone number, been totally honest with her about everything...especially length of our relationship and our children.

Of course, this doesnt make my MM happy when I do this. But he doesnt leave me. He says she doesnt care about me, doesnt want to talk about me, hear about me, period. I am something in "HIS" life and is has nothing to do with her. So leave her out of it.

 

As far as the children go, she said their are his it is his choice she will never hold anything against innocent children and they can come around, but I am never to be included in any of that time.

 

 

You seem to very inconsistent in your stories. Personally, I think you are playing figure out the troll, hey but that's me. The more I read, the more you are starting to twist in the wind. In some of your post you talk about the donkey MM living in a different state, and others how you wanted him to take kids to his home with the nannies. And got all excited when he did take one to his home.