Caligirl19 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Been talking to a guy he wanted to visit me but I've been having a lot of stuff going on right now for example, I have a ton of family visiting and recently I was put in the hospital because I couldn't hold down any food or water for that matter. Well the last time we talked he told me he's been busy after we got off the phone he text me about our relationship and said how do think this will work if I never get to see you because you have plans and he's frustrated about it. I told him next month is better. He just text back okay. My issue is that if he really wanted to see me then wouldn't he call to see when he could come? The last time we talked was about two weeks ago. I really want to ask him if he's done because it been two weeks and every time I try talk to him he just says I'm busy or this the first time in days that I've had my phone on me. Personally I think its rude and disrespectful because if you can't find 5 minutes out of your day to call and try to set something up what's the point of me sticking around? . I'm trying to come up with a way to ask without sounding bitchy or needy but I can't so can anyone help me?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 He talked to you about the relationship and the lack of physical contact, and he had made plans with you before I'm assuming? He doesn't want to come off as pushy since he's already asked you about meeting up but you pushed it back to a month. I understand it's a personal matter if you have medical issues and it's not always a good thing to tell people about your problems until you're more familiar with them. So instead of feeling angry with him, take the initiative to make a definitive date with him. Sometimes you have to take the initiative if you want to see results. If he doesn't pick up, make sure to leave a message with time and date as well as have him call you back when he gets the message. However, if he continues to evade or avoid you with excuses then you have to make a choice whether you'll want to continue dating him.
trickme Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I think maybe hes feeling a little rejected. I went through a REALLY similar thing, work was swamping me, it'd be someones birthday on the weekend, i was skint cos it was towards the end of the month, loads of things got in the way and he took the assumption that i wasn't interested and was making up excuses. if you call him up and ask him out somewhere, dinner and a catch up, i think if you put yourself out there, it would show him you still like him. Over dinner you could also bring up the subject of "so you've been a little quiet lately, everything good your end?" - there might be something genuine. i know in my situation, which may well be different from yours, it was very much he just wanted me to go above and beyond to make it up to him - i only know this now because i didn't do any of that and it faded and was over and when we talked it all through thats what came out. you live and you learn either way. good luck and let us know what you did decide and how it went. take care
seoa Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Personally I think its rude and disrespectful because if you can't find 5 minutes out of your day to call and try to set something up what's the point of me sticking around? . I'm trying to come up with a way to ask without sounding bitchy or needy but I can't so can anyone help me? Maybe we're missing something - but it sounds like he *has* been trying to set something up for the last month, and you've been knocking him back... I'm not surprised he thinks that you're avoiding him... No need to be needy - just phone him and be bright, breezy, cheerful & honest, and say "I'm thinking I might have given you the impression I was avoiding you - I really wasn't, my life has just been crazy busy, but if it's not too late I'm definitely up for meeting up..." Bear in mind that the longer you leave it, the more likely he is to give up and move on, so just make the call, stop over-thinking it... And don't be bitchy - I really don't think the guy has done anything wrong (unless there's info you've left out)...
BCCA Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Im going to level with you, most people that are just 'too busy', and have all these family problems, etc...are full of s**t, and just trying to nicely blow someone off. Seriously, if I explained my frustrations to a girl I was dating about our lack of time spent together, and she said next MONTH, I would be so done. He's pulling back because he feels like this is a waste of time. The way to fix this is to set something up as soon as you can, and let him know youre still interested. He probably thinks youre lukewarm interested, and using him as a plan B, which is exactly what I would be thinking. Honestly, do you even really like this guy? Or is he actually a plan B?
D-D Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 He hasn't done a thing wrong! He isn't being pushy and is giving you space. All the messages you are sending him are that you are not interested. Relationships work both ways, and you need to step up to the plate if you want to see him again.
Author Caligirl19 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 I really do like this guy. If you could ask anyone of my friends they would tell you this is the first time in almost two years that I'm willing to put myself in a relationship.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 QUIT creating new IDs and posting the same damn story, just with different wording.
Author Caligirl19 Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Soulsearch or whatever your name is what the hell are you talking about?
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Soulsearch or whatever your name is what the hell are you talking about? Well, my dear - I'm one of the more attentive ones around here, I guess. And I have a hell of a memory. Some of the things from THIS post that jump out at me: Been talking to a guy he wanted to visit me but I've been having a lot of stuff going on right now for example, I have a ton of family visiting and recently I was put in the hospital because I couldn't hold down any food or water for that matter. Well the last time we talked he told me he's been busy after we got off the phone he text me about our relationship and said how do think this will work if I never get to see you because you have plans and he's frustrated about it. I told him next month is better. He just text back okay. My issue is that if he really wanted to see me then wouldn't he call to see when he could come? The last time we talked was about two weeks ago. I really want to ask him if he's done because it been two weeks and every time I try talk to him he just says I'm busy or this the first time in days that I've had my phone on me. Personally I think its rude and disrespectful because if you can't find 5 minutes out of your day to call and try to set something up what's the point of me sticking around? . I'm trying to come up with a way to ask without sounding bitchy or needy but I can't so can anyone help me? Let's compare this to TWO of your previous IDs and things you wrote in those posts, shall we? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t202941/ I've been or was talking to a guy in the navy. Everything was fine until he wanted to visit me but I had a wedding to go to out of state. Well a few days later he texted me and asked how could our relationship possibly work if I'm always busy? September is busy for me and I told before all this happened. Its just that I had a wedding that I was in and this wedding had been planned for the past 6 months or so. I couldn't back out just because he wanted to hang out. The last time we talked he told me he's been busy at work and stuff which I totally understand but I was only calling to let him know that I had a few weekends next month to see him. I never did get around to that because his attitude completely threw me off. Since that night we haven't talked. I want to call him just to ask him where this attitude was coming from but I'm not sure if I should. So should I just let him go for now and wait til he calls or should I just let him go completely? AND http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t203057/ Been talking to a guy in the navy. Well we haven't been talking much but I know he has some huge test coming up and I'm kinda debating whether or not I should wish him luck. I'm debating about this because the reason why we haven't been talking much was due to him being busy or that's what he says. The last time we talked I called him to ask him something and he just said he's been busy and that he would of called but he's been busy. After that he texted me about visiting me because 2 weeks ago he wanted to come see me but I was out of state at a wedding. He basically asked me in a text do I honestly believe this relationship will work if I always have plans. I couldn't help the fact that I had plans. My plans were set in stone way before I met him. So basically I just want to know if I should text him and wish him luck because he's told me a countless number of times how nervous he was about this. Sorry to rain on your parade, honey. But did you know it's against community guidelines to create multiple IDs and keep posting the same crap over and over and over?
Recommended Posts