Brady_to_Moss Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 ask out some guys then BINGO...Ask some guys out and can guarente you will go on plenty of dates
Author LB85 Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 But what if the guys just don't seem interested? Yeh I am shy when it comes to asking a guy out (I can show and endless amount of signs, heck I can even tell the guy I'm interested) and definitely afraid of rejection. I'm also scared of looking to easy. Besides, everyone always says if a guy likes you then he will make it happen (it is also something I have seen happen to friends!). Whether it be the guys or girls, the guys always make it clearer if they like a girl, unfortunately in my case they sometimes scare me off (the extra nice guys) or they just don't like me enough.
Peaceful Guy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Well how do I find out what it is I'm not being honest about? I am tired of the introspection and constantly looking for what is wrong with me. I asked a few of my closest friends what it was, a friend said she doesn't see anything wrong with me except that I might not want anything right now, the other couldn't stop criticising me and actually even said things that werent true; I believed them at first and felt really bad about myself but slowly I noticed her contradictions and her own projections on me. I'm just tired, its been over 3 years since I've had anything close to even a boyfriend and I tried focussing on things. Now I'm just frustrated and yes I have the lowest self-esteem. SO what? Can you really blame me? A person can't stay strong no matter what, we need an incentive...even if its a small one...mine has always been missing. I mean the other day this one guy (who I never even considered) said I was the type of girl he would like to marry and take home to his mum. I felt honoured of course but he was drunk and he does drink too much. He isn't finishing his studies and he has just messed up his own life. But right now, I would even consider dating him...because he will at least like me and date me. Its strange how everyone always finds you pretty and a great person but no one would ever date you.... you know.. what you said yesterday really frustrated me... and i was empathetic again after reading your first two paragraphs. but then, using phrases like "i would even consider", "no one would ever date you".. what can be said to that? thats what you need to be honest with yourself about. you want to feel sorry for yourself so bad that you're allowing yourself to think ridiculous things. just because things arent the way you want them doesnt mean there ALL bad. okay, ill say it one more time and then im out.. "he would like to marry and take home to his mum.".. a few sentences later "no one would ever date you...." with you right now, its bad either way.. ive had friends like you before, and the reason im so adamant about you NOT thinking like this is, pretty soon you're gonna start to really believe those stupid things you're saying(see quotes above), and once that happens, you can look forward to a life of being miserable and resenting others around you(treating them poorly).. and with that,
Yukikazi Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 But what if the guys just don't seem interested? Yeh I am shy when it comes to asking a guy out (I can show and endless amount of signs, heck I can even tell the guy I'm interested) and definitely afraid of rejection. I'm also scared of looking to easy. Besides, everyone always says if a guy likes you then he will make it happen (it is also something I have seen happen to friends!). Whether it be the guys or girls, the guys always make it clearer if they like a girl, unfortunately in my case they sometimes scare me off (the extra nice guys) or they just don't like me enough. Does your flirtation include touching the guy at all? try reading some of the internet advice that guys look for on if the girl is interested or not.. the signs we are told to look for.. then be sure you liberally mix those in when you are flirting with a guy.. including the hair toss and the kino/touching.. touching is a big thing.. most nice guys wont lay a finger on you till you do it first and they know you wont freek out on them if they touch you on the arm. Belive me.. when we hear that "ewww" or see the flinch from the lightest touch on the arm often enough.. we learn to keep our hands to ourselves untill we know otherwise. OMG.. I'm sick of hearing this "The guy's gotta do it" ****... you need to calcify that tiny bit of string you call a backbone and step up to the plate yourself. Belive me there are alot of guys that would be flattered to be asked out. You mentioned your culture and family.. I'm guessing Korean.. maybe new to the US? The nice guys will be polite and try to do things for you.. the ******* badboys will act polite and try to do things TO you.. Just learn to express interest.. alot of us guys wont ask or even imply interest inless we have a decent idea that the girl is somewhat interested also.
boogieboy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Im gonna get attacked for this, but LB would you happen to be a woman of Indian decent with your eyes set on the Caucasian persuasion? If you are I have an explanation for you...
amagordos Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Ive only been asked out twice and the first time was by this one boy who really liked me, but i had zero interest in him.That was when i was fourteen. At eighteen i got asked out again by a player who only wanted to make out with me. Now at 20, i havent gotten asked out again. It bothers me but then i think i don't mee lots of guys so that may be it. Maybe you arent looking at all the possibilities, maybe just maybe you only like jerks like i do and dont consider the nerds or nice guys like i did. We want the unattainable and thats why we wind up alone. Open your heart to someone and just keep being yourself and im sure someone will ask you out. Give them subtle hints and smile with your eyes and definatly compliment them. THis is stuff i dont' do , but i am going to start doing it now because i want to experience love.
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