silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Where it seems to be shallow, IMO, is that men will overlook quite a few flaws, but when it comes to weight, if you even think about gaining you're done. I don't know how many guys I've known who would choose a skinny, ugly girl over a pretty heavier girl -- and I'm talking just maybe 15 to 20 pounds difference! Haven't you ever heard of a "butterface"? I just find it extremely shallow that weight would be the ONE defining factor that would cause you to dump a girl, as opposed to lack of intelligence or some other annoying habit, etc. Just to be clear, I wasn't replying to you per se, simply as a whole. Honestly, when it comes to weight gain, I can handle some. Not a whole lot though. And yes, body is a major factor when choosing a girl. It's just what it is. And you are right, most guys would choose the Brown Bagger than the prettier heavier girl. The main reason is genetics. Men are attracted to women with child bearing hips, breasts, and a$$. Most bigger girls you can't SEE those features, so the attraction is nowhere near as strong. It's all genetic. As far as letting oneself go in a relationship, doesn't that show a lack of caring for the relationship? I am the kind of guy who brings my problems up. Feelings or not, if you are gaining weight, I will tell you "Look, your changing, kind of letting yourself go a bit. What's the problem here so we can fix it and move on?" I won't say specifically that you are "Becoming a lard" and "I want out." I give everyone a chance to correct anything. But really, if someone doesn't put forth the effort into maintaining themselves, how can they put forth the effort in our relationship?
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You think it's innate that men want skinny women? This is not at all true. Skinny actually goes against evolution. And in fact, over most of history, women (and men) who had some pudge were more desirable, because it demonstrated one of several factors: 1. You were a good hunter and could capture enough meat to not be skinny. 2. You were socially higher up with better financial status, so you could buy more food to eat (and thus would not be skinny). 3. Skinny women have more problems in child-bearing, thus they are not as able to carry on the man's genes/name/whatever. Not skinny as in anorexic, men hate that, but a 1.4 - 1 - 1.4 (34-24-34, 35-25-35)ratio is what men look for, or more men prefer. Do the research, the 1.4 hip to waist ratio is the most desired amongst men. A woman can be curvy and can keep that ratio but not if she's overweight by a lot. A woman with a 1- 1- 1 ratio is almost 50% less fertile, hence the evolitionary reason to prefer the 1.4 hip to waist ratio. Again do the research yourself.
stace79 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Not skinny as in anorexic, men hate that, but a 1.4 - 1 - 1.4 (34-24-34, 35-25-35)ratio is what men look for, or more men prefer. Do the research, the 1.4 hip to waist ratio is the most desired amongst men. A woman can be curvy and can keep that ratio but not if she's overweight by a lot. A woman with a 1- 1- 1 ratio is almost 50% less fertile, hence the evolitionary reason to prefer the 1.4 hip to waist ratio. Again do the research yourself. You really leave me no hope for the male species...
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 1. You were a good hunter and could capture enough meat to not be skinny. 2. You were socially higher up with better financial status, so you could buy more food to eat (and thus would not be skinny). 3. Skinny women have more problems in child-bearing, thus they are not as able to carry on the man's genes/name/whatever. Most of evolution happened in the African survannah over millions of years. You're thinking of larger civilisations. 1) Women didn't hunt in primitive tribes, then gathered. 2) That's a product of civilsation, until farming advanced there wasn't surplus food all year round. 3) Absolutely. Skinny as in anorexic women are not good at child bearing, hence the 1.4 hip to waist ratio being optimum, and hence why many men do not find catwalk models attractive, but swimsuit models are.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You really leave me no hope for the male species... Lol, it's got nothing to do with hope. Every single generation of human beings will be born with the same genes and the same preferences. The same seflishness, and the same altruistic possibilities. Only when society teaches the right values can people change, but they generally cannot change too much from NATURAL tendencies. If you want to hate something, hate mother nature. But you don't blame the lion for eating the Zebra, why hate on men? I'm just reporting the science btw, I'm not condoning it. I wish men were willing to accept fat women, and women were willing to accept wimps. But the reality is, men and women have natural preferences.
stace79 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Lol, it's got nothing to do with hope. Every single generation of human beings will be born with the same genes and the same preferences. The same seflishness, and the same altruistic possibilities. Only when society teaches the right values can people change, but they generally cannot change too much from NATURAL tendencies. If you want to hate something, hate mother nature. But you don't blame the lion for eating the Zebra, why hate on men? I'm just reporting the science btw, I'm not condoning it. I wish men were willing to accept fat women, and women were willing to accept wimps. But the reality is, men and women have natural preferences. You don't see women out there seeking out the barbaric guys who get into fights over nothing do you? I am sick of guys claiming genetics make them arseholes. Next thing this topic will digress to how men are programmed to cheat. It's a load of garbage. Unless of course you're conceding you have no mental control over your privates. And then I wouldn't want a guy so stupid, superficiality aside.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You don't see women out there seeking out the barbaric guys who get into fights over nothing do you? I am sick of guys claiming genetics make them arseholes. Next thing this topic will digress to how men are programmed to cheat. It's a load of garbage. Unless of course you're conceding you have no mental control over your privates. And then I wouldn't want a guy so stupid, superficiality aside. No women don't seek barbarians, because a man with barbaric tendencies doesn't have social skills, and social skills helps a man advance. But confident, successful men attract way more women than the wimpy unconfident guy that's sweeping the street. no? Mental control is higher reasoning, that's different from a PRIMAL drive.
silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You don't see women out there seeking out the barbaric guys who get into fights over nothing do you? I am sick of guys claiming genetics make them arseholes. Next thing this topic will digress to how men are programmed to cheat. It's a load of garbage. Unless of course you're conceding you have no mental control over your privates. And then I wouldn't want a guy so stupid, superficiality aside. Being programmed to cheat? I can honestly say I have never cheated on any woman. Perhaps I was raised with values now lost in modern culture, but that's a myth. I've been cheated on twice. But I've never cheated. Why is not dating a bigger girl being an arsehole? I am confused. Again, there is some type of disconnect. We are speaking of preference. My preference is average, athletic, or fit. I don't date twigs, and I don't date mammoths. Is that such a crime against humanity?
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Being programmed to cheat? I can honestly say I have never cheated on any woman. Perhaps I was raised with values now lost in modern culture, but that's a myth. I've been cheated on twice. But I've never cheated. Why is not dating a bigger girl being an arsehole? I am confused. Again, there is some type of disconnect. We are speaking of preference. My preference is average, athletic, or fit. I don't date twigs, and I don't date mammoths. Is that such a crime against humanity? She's probably refering to a thread I started long ago where I stated cheating was biological. Which it is if a man is not taught any morality. Since he'll be like a friggin caveman. The interesting thing is people cheat even though society says cheating is wrong. There are reproductive advantages to cheating in both men and women from a reproduvtive sense, and this has been past on to modern men and women.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Reproductive advantages such as Chlamydia, AIDS, Herpes, and good ol' fashioned Syphilis and Gonnorhea?
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Reproductive advantages such as Chlamydia, AIDS, Herpes, and good ol' fashioned Syphilis and Gonnorhea? haha, yeah well if you survive those but knocked up, you'll have a baby! (carrying 50% of your genes)
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I am still confused how body preference is considered shallow. It's new age hippie crap to believe that if you ask me. I agree, to a point. I mean, if my partner put on 20 lbs I wouldn't get upset or probably even think about it, but if he put on 50, then I would probably be put off. He's not very tall, so 50# would be a LOT for him. Anyone who says it shouldn't matter AT ALL is lying to themselves. If their partner suddenly packed on 100# I can BET they would be running for the hills or at least posting a thread JUST like this one.
sweetjasmine Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Every single generation of human beings will be born with the same genes and the same preferences. The same seflishness, and the same altruistic possibilities. That is total BS. People are definitely not born with the same genes, and they definitely don't end up developing the same preferences. There are and have been societies where fat = attractive. I'm just reporting the science btw, I'm not condoning it. I wish men were willing to accept fat women, and women were willing to accept wimps. But the reality is, men and women have natural preferences. Those preferences aren't necessarily biological. You don't have any evidence to prove that 'skinny = good' is encoded in genes and that every single human being shares that preference because of genetics. That's totally false. You're not "reporting the science" at all.
Sam Spade Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 That is total BS. People are definitely not born with the same genes, and they definitely don't end up developing the same preferences. There are and have been societies where fat = attractive. Those preferences aren't necessarily biological. You don't have any evidence to prove that 'skinny = good' is encoded in genes and that every single human being shares that preference because of genetics. That's totally false. You're not "reporting the science" at all. I will purposefully adopt the curve preferences of certain african tribes, just so I could make the homegrown overweight girls feel better. That's my public service for the day. But I'll still feel a bit violated - just because Shaka Zulu likes lots of junk in the trunk, doesn't mean that I have to like it. PS while genetics can hardly explain preferences, there is plenty of *medical* evidence that fat wrecks your body.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I will purposefully adopt the curve preferences of certain african tribes, just so I could make the homegrown overweight girls feel better. That's my public service for the day. But I'll still feel a bit violated - just because Shaka Zulu likes lots of junk in the trunk, doesn't mean that I have to like it. PS while genetics can hardly explain preferences, there is plenty of *medical* evidence that fat wrecks your body. Now THAT was funny!
sweetjasmine Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I will purposefully adopt the curve preferences of certain african tribes, just so I could make the homegrown overweight girls feel better. That's my public service for the day. But I'll still feel a bit violated - just because Shaka Zulu likes lots of junk in the trunk, doesn't mean that I have to like it. PS while genetics can hardly explain preferences, there is plenty of *medical* evidence that fat wrecks your body. Oh look, you built another strawman. Thank you for stuffing more words in my mouth. I never argued that people should adopt the preferences and values of other cultures. I'm just calling BS on the "everyone has the same genes, and those genes tell us that fat people are ugly" claim. It's absolutely wrong, and there's a ton of evidence that proves those preferences are determined by culture and society. They're not hard-wired. Claiming otherwise is wrong at best and disingenuous at worst. And yes, there's plenty of medical evidence that too much fat wrecks your body. There's also plenty of medical evidence that too little fat is harmful. There's also evidence that over-exercising increases your risk of heart disease. There's evidence that certain popular hair dyes you can buy off the shelf contain carcinogens and toxins that increase people's risk for cancer. There's evidence that steroid use wrecks the body. None of this has anything to do with society's preferences when it comes to aesthetics. I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to be with a partner who leads a healthy lifestyle, so what's your point?
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You can argue this until you're blue in the face, but I really don't see how arguing with someone that they shouldn't be unhappy when their partner puts on excessive weight is going to help anyone here.
sweetjasmine Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 You can argue this until you're blue in the face, but I really don't see how arguing with someone that they shouldn't be unhappy when their partner puts on excessive weight is going to help anyone here. I'm not arguing that. Please quote me where I said someone shouldn't be unhappy with it. All I've ever said that if it were my SO who put on that much weight and changed his habits drastically, I would be concerned with what caused it all. If it turned out he was just being lazy and didn't care anymore, I'd probably leave, too. Would anyone else care to put words in my mouth?
silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I believe you also said that bilbo is a giant banana and the walking gorilla flies torpedo shaped aeroplanes. But then again, I may be wrong.
sweetjasmine Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I believe you also said that bilbo is a giant banana and the walking gorilla flies torpedo shaped aeroplanes. But then again, I may be wrong. :lmao: Hey, I said airplanes, not aeroplanes!
silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Is someone having a bad day? If you're visiting the LS forums, it must be a bad day, didn't you get the memo? Oh, I forgot. Karl the Memo delivery man is on leave of absence for excessive happiness.
silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 :lmao: Hey, I said airplanes, not aeroplanes! Damnit, I thought for sure I didn't get screwed in english class. Damn you Mrs. Troxell!
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 No, I'll marry a woman who actually pays attention to what i say. A skill that eludes fatties, along with self control, apparently. Wow. I missed THIS one. No wonder some people are PO'd.
sweetjasmine Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Is someone having a bad day? Nope. I think the OP should bring up the issue with his gf and find out if there are underlying problems which triggered the weight gain and change in behavior. If it turns out she's just being lazy, and he can't accept that, he should leave and find someone who makes him happy. If he doesn't find her attractive anymore, that's a problem, and if it can't be fixed, he's better off finding someone else. My opinion doesn't change if we're talking about the gf being too fat or too skinny. So, yes, it gets on my nerves when someone claims that I'm arguing that he should force himself to accept other cultures' aesthetic preferences and should force himself to be happy with the situation and should force himself to find his gf attractive. It's very insulting to have other people tell you what you think when you haven't argued anything like it.
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