AnswersPls Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Hi Guys. I just wanted to post here so that I can just .. release all my emotions. Its been three months plus. but i still cannot let it go. I have tried to do everything read books jogging holidays meeting new people join new activities go out more often cut my hair and changed my looks I have done everything and everything. but i still think of him. I still think of the 4yrs.,. the fun times. I cannot. move on. Recently, i have been 1)crying to sleep. 2)drinking to sleep. Its really tough PS: crying while tying this post in office! I cannot take it anymore. I am going crazy.. have you guys been thru this stage and got over it ?. Is there any remedy to help. I am desperate and going crazy..I miss him so badly Can i call him (pls stop me)?
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 How long has it been since you broke up??
Author AnswersPls Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 How long has it been since you broke up?? Hi logitech, It been 3 months plus.. Thanks for replying. I really needed someone to talk me.. someone to stop me from doing anything silly.
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 For me it is just coming up to two months now. I am in a very similar situation to you. I don't cry very often any more but at the same time I have trouble letting go of hope. I tend to take each day as it comes, but my job gives me too much free time. You know that calling him will just make things harder for you. What we need is to just let time go and allow ourselves to enjoy these things we have been doing to distract ourselves. Hell I have basically been using this forum as a chat to distract myself.
Author AnswersPls Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 For me it is just coming up to two months now. I am in a very similar situation to you. I don't cry very often any more but at the same time I have trouble letting go of hope. I tend to take each day as it comes, but my job gives me too much free time. You know that calling him will just make things harder for you. What we need is to just let time go and allow ourselves to enjoy these things we have been doing to distract ourselves. Hell I have basically been using this forum as a chat to distract myself. Hey, I totally understand what you are going thru. I am 1 month more than you, I can understand and I can feel you. Hope you are stronger and me and move on faster than me. Its too painful. How did you breakup?
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I got home one night after going out to watch a movie. She made me a choc milk (always did) and I could tell something was up. I asked her to open up and she said she needed space and time to think about things. I said OK and we slept in separate rooms that night. She left the next morning to stay at her mums. She then stayed at her sisters and sent me an email a day later saying it was over. From there I did everything wrong that someone could do as I was hopelessly lost. I tried to contact her friends etc. Eventually I went to begging etc. To be honest I still haven't moved on. I guess the only thing in my mind that will really make me wake up is seeing her with someone else. Until then I hang onto this ridiculous hope that she will want to give it another go. I know it stupid but I am still weak. I had to move out of the place we lived in together for 4 years. She came around to drop off mail yesterday. It hurt to see how she has moved into such a phase of indifference with me, after all we shared. None the less I am just trying to enjoy myself being me. Hell maybe someone will come hunting after me
fofiffs Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Hey Answer, You'll get through this trust me. Just take a deep breathe and just relax. Don't call because you'll only regret it after. It'll just bring you more pain. I'm going on 7 months now. I can honestly say that i'm finding it easier now. I rarely think of the ex. I'd be lying if I said that I don't but its not as bad as it was from the beginning. You should find yourself an NC buddy so you have someone to call when you get the urge. I actually met someone on here that became an NC buddy months ago. We call each other everytime we get relapses or have that urge to call. And along the way we became really great friends.
Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 It's normal that you feel this way at 3 months. You WILL get through this rough patch even though right now it feels like a bottomless pit. I suffered for 5 months over a relationship that was only 1.5 years long. And still not completely ok.
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I love the idea of an NC buddy. I hate talking to my friends about this stuff as I know how frustrating it would be for them watching me go around in circles.
fofiffs Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I love the idea of an NC buddy. I hate talking to my friends about this stuff as I know how frustrating it would be for them watching me go around in circles. It really helps, my NC buddy has helped me in so many ways and likewise. And at the same time you make new friends who understands your situation.
Maxwell Sage Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 The NC buddy concept is a brilliant one. If that fails, try expressing yourself through one artistic medium or another. I feel this is an excellent way to channel your emotions. If these strategies fall flat, you can always resort to what I do... Listen to mid nineties E-40 and play Poke'mon cards!
logitech Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Dammit I am still in denial... The closest thing I have to an NC buddy at the moment is my mum. She can act like a sounding board without getting too hung up on things (while loving me unconditionally). I don't want to even mention her to my friends any more since I just sound like a broken record. If only I can convince my self not to speak to them about her at least then even they will not be able to relay anything about what I say to her. GG stupid wandering mind...
fofiffs Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Dammit I am still in denial... The closest thing I have to an NC buddy at the moment is my mum. She can act like a sounding board without getting too hung up on things (while loving me unconditionally). I don't want to even mention her to my friends any more since I just sound like a broken record. If only I can convince my self not to speak to them about her at least then even they will not be able to relay anything about what I say to her. GG stupid wandering mind... Moms are usually almost right everytime. My mom was really supportive when my ex left me. She was always there when i needed her.
rp123 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Hi Guys. I just wanted to post here so that I can just .. release all my emotions. Its been three months plus. but i still cannot let it go. I have tried to do everything read books jogging holidays meeting new people join new activities go out more often cut my hair and changed my looks I have done everything and everything. but i still think of him. I still think of the 4yrs.,. the fun times. I cannot. move on. Recently, i have been 1)crying to sleep. 2)drinking to sleep. Its really tough PS: crying while tying this post in office! I cannot take it anymore. I am going crazy.. have you guys been thru this stage and got over it ?. Is there any remedy to help. I am desperate and going crazy..I miss him so badly Can i call him (pls stop me)? I'm on day 14 of NC. Some moments I begin to feel better, and then Wham, another tsunami hits me and I feel like I've been run-over! It feels like there will never be relief from this anguish...... Thinking of you, and sharing your pain with you. R.
Author AnswersPls Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 Hey guys Thanks for all the encourgment and thanks for sharing all the waves of emotions. The feeling sucks but we need to perserve For those who have not called their exes.. pls DUN!.. Leave some dinity to you yourselves. I should have just went NC .. Now its too late. the hurt have been done.
rp123 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Hey guys Thanks for all the encourgment and thanks for sharing all the waves of emotions. The feeling sucks but we need to perserve For those who have not called their exes.. pls DUN!.. Leave some dinity to you yourselves. I should have just went NC .. Now its too late. the hurt have been done. Its not too late to reclaim that dignity now!! Begin today, by striving to lead a full life. On day 14 of NC I am so tortured. But I will fight on and reclaim what I know I am truly worth!!
ralph1319 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Its not too late to reclaim that dignity now!! Begin today, by striving to lead a full life. On day 14 of NC I am so tortured. But I will fight on and reclaim what I know I am truly worth!! well ive been separated since april of 09 its sept. now. its does get a bit easier just a bit. but it does come in waves i was very depressed just a few days ago.but today i think im doing ok.for me there is nothing really that can take my mind away from thinking of her.except riding my bike at the beach idk why it just relaxes me.but the other 6 days are kinda rough here and there. look at it this way you cant do anything about it.she will do w/e she wants so you sitting in one place thinking of her wont help you.i know because its not helping me.. im kinda still there..
AliBlack Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I know EXACTLY how you feel hun, my partner left me in July after 18 years together (lived together for 17), I feel as bad now as when he left, if not worse, it's like the more time goes on the more I miss him. And I am full of regrets, he left because I neglected him because of the voluntary work I was doing from our home with wild birds. So I am constantly kicking myself too, I tried to put it right but it was too late. He has been very keen to stay friends, so we do meet up, I'm not sure if this is helping or hindering me. I feel all I have to look forward to is him meeting someone else. He is clearly still fond of me the way he is with me, but he sees me as a friend now, sometimes he uses his old pet name for me (a silly word we used which means lover), which is strange. He was the love of my life, we were so close and special together until I screwed it up. He says don't blame yourself, he could have fought harder to save us. It's so sad, since we split up we finally said all the things we should have said a long time ago and got to the root of the problems and now I have no chance to put it right, I feel like I'm left hanging. He thought I didn't love or need him and I did, I do. I used to be so busy that he felt I didn't have time for him, now it's come to a standstill as I'm too depressed to do anything much. Life feels empty, pointless, and incredibly lonely without him to share it with.
Recommended Posts