gordon_gc Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Hi, Not sure I did the right thing. Actually, yes, I think I did. I had a bad break up 4 years ago and following it, I decided to cut everything off. I applied the NC even though she was still seeking forgiveness for breaking up. I guess it was mainly a way for her to feel less guilty. Anyway, 4 years down the line, I've sent an email to her to simply say I forgive her and apologize for taking so long. Why ? because during 4 years, even though I moved on, I always had a tremendous resentment and I think it was holding me back. Well, I'm now in a really fragile relationship and I think one of the reason is because of that deep resentment (plus a lot of other issues). Well, I wonder what you guys think of that ? I'm not really expecting a response from her (or maybe in 4 years lol) but I feel so happy I finally had the courage to do so.
Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 4 years is a pretty long time, hopefully it doesn't stir up any crazy emotions for her. I'm glad it's going to benefit you and help you let go I just hope there aren't any undesirable consequences.
fofiffs Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Hey Gordon I've read your previous posts including your first threads. And I want to congratulate you for coming this far. Your first post you seemed really heart broken like she tore you into a million pieces. And here you are now four years later. I think you did the right thing by sending her that email. Sometimes there are things in our pasts that holds us back and you sending that email I think is a good thing to help you in your new relationship. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted. I admire you for coming this far. Hopefully one day I will be 110% over my ex.
Author gordon_gc Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 well, i dont think it will stir up any crazy emotions for her...she is dating a good guy and they've been together for a while now. Let's hope not because it's not my intention. My intention is mainly to close that book so i can start writing a new one but also to give her the satisfaction she can move forward with the idea i don't hate her anymore. Well, so far, she hasn't answered (don't think i'll get one to be honest or not so soon). I'll keep you updated
symbol Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) Hi gordon. I don't know if you remember me. I was going thru a breakup 4 years ago at the same time as you were. I remember you giving me much needed support here at that time. I am back in LS after so long because I'm trying to figure out if I should email my ex or not. Seeing that you have done that a month ago was funny! ) I'm glad you did it without any expectations. That's how I would want to do it too. But unfortunately something my ex did, did stir up crazy emotions in me, so I'm having a hard time... We haven't said a word to each other since the break up but he has been on my web page several times in the last year. I wasn't paying too much attention to it at first, mainly because it was just a guess that it was him. But now I know for sure (his name appears on the server's name along with the IP) that it's him and that he visited my web page 3 times in the past 5 weeks, I am confused. So, did you end up getting a reply from her? S. Edited October 18, 2009 by symbol
contax Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Hi, Not sure I did the right thing. Actually, yes, I think I did. I had a bad break up 4 years ago and following it, I decided to cut everything off. I applied the NC even though she was still seeking forgiveness for breaking up. I guess it was mainly a way for her to feel less guilty. Anyway, 4 years down the line, I've sent an email to her to simply say I forgive her and apologize for taking so long. Why ? because during 4 years, even though I moved on, I always had a tremendous resentment and I think it was holding me back. Well, I'm now in a really fragile relationship and I think one of the reason is because of that deep resentment (plus a lot of other issues). Well, I wonder what you guys think of that ? I'm not really expecting a response from her (or maybe in 4 years lol) but I feel so happy I finally had the courage to do so. Okay, if it feels good then cool. Leave it. How long after the initial break up did you get into another relationship?
Dmoney28 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 i hope i dont come off like a jerk. But how do you know she hasent moved on and forgiven herself? 4 years later and in a relationship, im sure she has moved on with her life, and dosent need any validation from you. You sending her this e-mail may have opened up her own guilt and feelings. I think it was kinda selfish on your own part. let it be. If you want nothing to do with her, just let it be.
Author gordon_gc Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 i hope i dont come off like a jerk. But how do you know she hasent moved on and forgiven herself? 4 years later and in a relationship, im sure she has moved on with her life, and dosent need any validation from you. You sending her this e-mail may have opened up her own guilt and feelings. I think it was kinda selfish on your own part. let it be. If you want nothing to do with her, just let it be. What you are saying is also true and I realise that. She surely doesn't need my approval but ya, for once, I had to be selfish so I could move on. Surely if my email doesn't affect her, she won't care about it...and who knows, she probably never got to read it for what i know. At least, I now feel relief and now know I can love again. :-)
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