Juno Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 This whole year has been a struggle trying to get over my ex. I last saw him in April, we texted back and forth until the end of July. Since then I have maintained complete nc. He has as well. It's been tough, but this week I held out hope that I would hear from him since it's my birthday this week. Deep down I knew I wouldn't hear from him, but I hoped I would atleast get a "happy b-day wish". I know he has moved on, and I am trying to do the same. It would have been so nice if he showed an ounce of care.
Skyofstrife Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 It would be nice to hear all that...but why? You might end up more hurt in the end. Don't recycle the healing process...its going to help you out in the end. If anything, be happy he didn't. He may have been thinking about what's best for the both of you..
Author Juno Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 It would be nice to hear all that...but why? You might end up more hurt in the end. Don't recycle the healing process...its going to help you out in the end. If anything, be happy he didn't. He may have been thinking about what's best for the both of you.. True... I just wish I could STOP thinking about him. He is the last thing I think about before I go to sleep, he is what I dream about almost every night, and throughtout the day, I fantasize about him in every aspect of my life. I am no stalker and have been pretty good about nc, but would like to know if I every cross his mind...(in a pleasant way). I wonder if he is resisting the urge to contact me just as much as I am. If I had been dealing with these feelings for 4 -6 months, I would be fine and would understand this is the healing process. In total, I've been struggling with these feelings for about a year and a half. I just want to be happy and have rid myself of all thoughts of him....or do I?
Maxwell Sage Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Bah. Unfortunately, I can relate. I've only been in love once, and we lived together for 2.5 years... She moved away and told me she moved on back in July. Then she proved that she had moved on by sharing the fact that she's been enjoying a new bf since early August... As you can imagine, since we lived together and woke up/ went to sleep in the same bed each night, I feel a significant void every time I wake up or go to sleep... It's hard to accept that this person is never coming back to cuddle with me again... Now I fill my days with distractions and attempts to be productive. Though my nights and mornings are far lonelier than I'm used to, I try to do soothing things before going to sleep and vice versa. My birthday is in less than two weeks... I established NC with my ex about a week and a half ago... Less than a week ago, she noticed that I had her blocked on aim and proceeded to b*tch me out... Now I'm pretty damned positive that I'm not gonna get so much as a happy birthday text from her... This is so sad to me because she's been there, telling me how much she loves me for my last three, and now she's not even going to text me... ='( I think both of us need to accept that this is just a new chapter in our lives and continue to move forward.
Author Juno Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Bah. Unfortunately, I can relate. I've only been in love once, and we lived together for 2.5 years... She moved away and told me she moved on back in July. Then she proved that she had moved on by sharing the fact that she's been enjoying a new bf since early August... As you can imagine, since we lived together and woke up/ went to sleep in the same bed each night, I feel a significant void every time I wake up or go to sleep... It's hard to accept that this person is never coming back to cuddle with me again... Now I fill my days with distractions and attempts to be productive. Though my nights and mornings are far lonelier than I'm used to, I try to do soothing things before going to sleep and vice versa. My birthday is in less than two weeks... I established NC with my ex about a week and a half ago... Less than a week ago, she noticed that I had her blocked on aim and proceeded to b*tch me out... Now I'm pretty damned positive that I'm not gonna get so much as a happy birthday text from her... This is so sad to me because she's been there, telling me how much she loves me for my last three, and now she's not even going to text me... ='( I think both of us need to accept that this is just a new chapter in our lives and continue to move forward. Awww...I feel you on this. Through trial and error over the past year I have learned and accepted it is far better to deal with the loniness and sadness of not hearing from my ex. Each time we connect I experience a moment of elation, followed by weeks of extreme pain and depression, which impairs me from moving forward. It would have been nice to receive a happy birthday wish by text or email, to which I would have simply relpied "thank you". This gesture would have been enough for me. Oh well...it was not meant to be. Btw Max...I know it's not the same as coming from your ex, but Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy and do something to make yourself smile.
Broseph Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Yep happy birthday If if makes you feel any better check my posts about not contacting my ex on her bday today. I can tell you i definitely thought about her today and wanted to contact her so bad.
WSeeker Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Bah. Unfortunately, I can relate. I've only been in love once, and we lived together for 2.5 years... She moved away and told me she moved on back in July. Then she proved that she had moved on by sharing the fact that she's been enjoying a new bf since early August... As you can imagine, since we lived together and woke up/ went to sleep in the same bed each night, I feel a significant void every time I wake up or go to sleep... It's hard to accept that this person is never coming back to cuddle with me again... Now I fill my days with distractions and attempts to be productive. Though my nights and mornings are far lonelier than I'm used to, I try to do soothing things before going to sleep and vice versa. My birthday is in less than two weeks... I established NC with my ex about a week and a half ago... Less than a week ago, she noticed that I had her blocked on aim and proceeded to b*tch me out... Now I'm pretty damned positive that I'm not gonna get so much as a happy birthday text from her... This is so sad to me because she's been there, telling me how much she loves me for my last three, and now she's not even going to text me... ='( I think both of us need to accept that this is just a new chapter in our lives and continue to move forward. I figured out something in the last week. It doesn't matter if you are maintaining NC or not, that alone is not gonna heal you. I've seen people on NC and after 5 months they get angry about their ex because of something they did. Using NC to get revenge or when youre angry is very bad. Most of the people i've seen are using it because they cant deal with emotions from the past relationship. And then they suppress those feelings which is VERY VERY bad, because you have to deal with it sooner or later and do a little bit of soulsearching. There is no running away from this. If u suppress them youre not gonna get over your ex and a year later ull still be in the same spot. Hell, i've seen people get over their ex in the matter of weeks and can still be good friends with them. People, its all up to you.
gavinus Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 (Sigh) I did not wish my ex happy birthday...and I still care for her a great deal. She dumped me, hurt me, and gave me a birthday gift, I returned it as a gift cannot make up for years of abuse, and I wanted my self respect. I now have my self respect...and am alone, and I did not acknowledge her birthday but it doesn't mean I don't care. Keep strong
Snugglepuss Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Awww...I feel you on this. Through trial and error over the past year I have learned and accepted it is far better to deal with the loniness and sadness of not hearing from my ex. Each time we connect I experience a moment of elation, followed by weeks of extreme pain and depression, which impairs me from moving forward. It would have been nice to receive a happy birthday wish by text or email, to which I would have simply relpied "thank you". This gesture would have been enough for me. Oh well...it was not meant to be. Btw Max...I know it's not the same as coming from your ex, but Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy and do something to make yourself smile. Juno, I am going through the exact same thing. I'm trying to get over a 4 year relationship that I ended on Jan. 1st, but we have remained in contact until about 5 days ago. And then no contact until tonight because I had to retrieve my last remnants. I started accepting and not expecting his calls or texts and then after I saw him for hopefully, the last time tonight, I cried. I guess I had that moment of secret elation when I saw him. Now, I feel like it set me back just a little. I hope my days will get better. I am going to attempt NC for the rest of my life.
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