dvp Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 HI, I have been living in china for the past 4 years. I've had a girlfriend for the past 2 years she is chinese. Last month I got home from work one day to find she was gone, everything was gone of hers. There was not even a note or letter explaining anything. I've been going crazy the past few weeks trying to contact her but he phone is constantly switched off i've tried her friends but they just hang up everytime i call, i've tried her family but they are the same. I dont know why she left, everything was going fine, we seemed to be very happy together and in love so i dont understand why she did this. We were planning on getting married however I wanted to wait till next year and she wanted to do it this year, this is the only reason that I can think of why she would have left. Anyway, today I bumped into one of her friends on the street and finally got a few explainations as to where she has gone. I dont know if what her friend told me is true, but apprantly she has gone to another country to work as a prostitue. When i heard this i felt sick, my body just felt like shutting down and all i wanted to do was cry. this is the worst feeling in the world. I dont know where she is, what shes doing, i'v not spoken to her in a while. I really feel like i cant cope with this. I need some advice as to waht to do or how to make things better. Or if anyone has any idea's as to hwo to track her down. Thanks. Jay
Taucher Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Sorry to hear this. That is very hard and a very unusual situation, so I am not sure what advice anyone can give. Is the person who gave you this information reliable? Could they be lying for some reason? Everyone has been ignoring you so are they teasing you? Did her friends just LET her go? And if they know she went abroad, cant they tell you to which country she went? It seems so extreme and weird, although it does explain why your GF left without a word. Who would want to explain that to their boyfriend? And her family hang up on you too? Have you been to her family's house? Not sure it is a good idea but I dont think I could stop myself. If she actually HAS gone to be a prostitute abroad, will you REALLY want her back? T
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If she has gone to be a prostitute abroad it may not have been her choice...
Author dvp Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 I have thought her friends and family could not be telling the truth, but then i think about it and they could say anything, saying she is a prostitute sounds like bit of an extreme lie to tell, specially about your friend or family member. From what i know of her friend she does seem like a reliable source for info, however with all that has gone on I'm getting to the stage where i cant believe or trust anyone. I've been to her family's house, they are no help what so ever. He father is some drunk loser who struggles to say a single word because he is drunk all the time and her mother just refuses to talk to me, I've tried her sisters but they are the same. IF she has gone to become a prostitue I dont know if i could take her back but I do love her so much that I think I would take her back and just try to forget about this. THe worst thing is just not knowing anything, if i knew she was ok or I could just speak to her, even if it was to say hello i'm sure it would help slightly...
Taucher Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Are you not both on Facebook or something? Sorry to ask more questions but...Was there any indication whatsoever that something like this might happen? She wanted to get married this year, you were both happy? Have you thought about calling the police? Again, I am not sure this is wise advice but your girlfriend of 2 years (who you lived with?) has vanished and everyone is being really secretive about it. Saying that she has gone to become a prostitute IS an extreme lie but I would like to think that you could kind of tell if this is something that someone is likely to do. Or not. And ALL her stuff is gone? Is there alot of stuff, would she have needed help to move it? And would she have taken EVERYTHING to move abroad. DO you speak Chinese? Do her family and friends speak English? Is there any chance that it could be mis-communication? And Logitech is right...it might not have been her choice.
Author dvp Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 thanks for the reply. Unfortunatly facebook and all sites like it are banned in china so not many people are on it over here. I may be stupid but to me there was NO indication that something like this could happen. Only thing that comes to mind is me not wanting to get married this year but that seems like a stupid reason to just pack up and leave. I have called the police but I got the answer i was kind of expecting, ''we'll look into it'' so i'm not banking on the police to help me out too much. Definatly no chance of miscommunication, she is Chinese but was born in the UK and grew up there with her family for 10 years so the english is good. You are both right, if she is working as a prostitue it could not be her choice, this makes it even harder to deal with for me, knowing someone could be forcing her to do stuff.. LIke you said in your first reply, its a hard an unusual situation and giving advice on somthing like this is pretty difficult but it was good to speak to someone other than my friends or family about this.
Taucher Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Oh yes, forgot Facebook was banned in China. So, she is technically British? Does she have a British passport? Maybe she has come to the UK? If she has not gone to become a prostitute, then is there anything else she could have left for? Yes, not wanting to get married would be a strange reason to leave a relationship, but for it to make someone leave to become a prostitute? Doesn't sound right. My instinct is that there is something not right here. Everyone seems calm about it except for you, and that would suggest that they know where she is and what she is doing. And if they knew that she had moved abroad to be a prostitute, would they be calm about it? Seems unlikely. Did she have a job? Was she is desperate need of money? More questions! Her mum wont talk to you? Have you done anything to upset your gf which her mum may be angry with you about?
Author dvp Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 No shes not British, she moved to UK while she was a child but then the family moved back to china, I've thought maybe she is back in the UK now but not sure. You are right, something doesnt sound right. I've done nothing to upset her family or her which makes it even harder for me to understand. The worst thing for me is not knowing or have any closure. I really want to get back with her but thats impossible if she does not want to be found. I think what i'm really looking for is some advice with regards to helping me come to terms with the fact that she is gone and has made it clear she wants no contact with me. I know the easy answer is to just be strong and get over her but its really much easier said than done, I'd like some other people to give me advice if anyone has been in the same situation, (their partner has left and impossible to get in touch with them). thanks.
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I can't say I am fully convinced she doesn't want contact with you. Perhaps I am going beyond what I should by saying this, but is there any chance she could have been trafficked?? Perhaps that is why her family is not helping, in that they may have received a payout?? Sorry if I have overstepped by saying this, but I am sure it is more than just me that has thought it.
Author dvp Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 No need to be sorry for saying that, i've thought the same thing soo many times. i just wish i had some definate answers and i'm sure i'd be able to cope with the situation a lot better than i am at the moment. I'm going crazy!!!!!
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