Taucher Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 This is a question for everyone. This might be hard to put what I mean in my head into words. I am no where near being at a stage where I want to meet a new partner. In fact, I cant see myself every meeting anyone ever again who comes anywhere NEAR my ex yadah yadah blah blah. However, I am becoming increasingly cynical about the value and point of relationships. I feel like I may not bother again. However, I can imagine getting lonely if I were single for a long time. So what happens when there is a battle in someone's head between being cynical about relationships in general and being lonely and single. Do they go with their cynicism and ignore their loneliness and stay single? Or do the ignore their cynicism and concentrate on how lonely they are and start a new relationship? If anyone has ANY idea what I am talking about and has any comments, please go ahead. T
logitech Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I guess it is about taking baby steps. Eventually we will go out and meet people not because we are looking for something but just because we cross paths. I know I am in no state to date again, but I expect that eventually I will meet someone I will get along with and things will develop from there. It is easy for my to be cynical about the whole relationship thing since I felt I had something so good and I was floating all the time, just for it to be snatched away in an instant. It's going to take a while to get past this one.
EricaH329 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 That's when you don't think about any of it. You don't have to be in a relationship. You don't even have to think about being in relationship. Just go on with your daily life. When you meet someone worthy of being with, you'll know. Until then though, I wouldn't think about it too much. Just my opinion for what it's worth.
Ronni_W Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 No worries, T...it may have felt confusing in your head, but your post is perfectly clear and succinct However, I am becoming increasingly cynical about the value and point of relationships. That is such a delicious statement...about 500 hours worth of conversation by my early reckoning! To me, it suggests that the owner of such cynicism is focusing ONLY on the "negative" experiences that relationships can and do bring. The focus is understandable, but it's still a choice that was/is being made, which is only a problem if it becomes the habitual outlook. I'm not sure it could just be "ignored" or suppressed whenever feelings of loneliness become too strong. More than likely, at that point, a 'relationship cynic' will get into some relationship, anyway...and will end up wrecking it (with all the cynicism.) And when the new partner decides to get the heck out of Miserytown...that will just be the cynic's "proof" that s/he was absolutely "right" all along, to be so jaded and negative! Maybe a different way is to ride the wave of cynicism until one is ready to start focusing on, and experiencing, the positives that relationships also can and do bring? Given your experience over the past four months, though, it would make sense (to me) if your mind and heart can't quite fathom such a thing right at the moment. Break-ups crap out, is all there is to it. Big hugs.
splintered thing Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 So what happens when there is a battle in someone's head between being cynical about relationships in general and being lonely and single. Do they go with their cynicism and ignore their loneliness and stay single? Or do the ignore their cynicism and concentrate on how lonely they are and start a new relationship? ...or you realize that you can satisfy your emotional needs from friendships and other relationships besides romantic ones. Truthfully, being in a relationship can be a lot more lonely than flying solo and when you are feeling lonely, it can be a lot easier to do something about it when you're unattached.
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