Your husband tells you about a incredibly beautiful woman he saw at work

[Thaddeus]

I can guarantee that if women were completely honest with their SOs, you guys would all curl up into lifelong fetal balls, whimpering and foaming at the mouth.

*yawn* Oh pullleeeze.

 

If the men in your life are truly like that, you're hanging out with the wrong men.

 

I stand by my original assertion: If you want honesty in a relationship, then don't get all twisted up when you get it.

[stillafool]

If your husband told you that he saw the most beautiful, stunning woman he ever seen in his life at a department store, how would that make you feel? Say if he worked with this woman?

 

Honestly, I'd probably start searching for a plastic surgeon to enhance my features because if my spouse is looking at other women, and saying that they are THAT beautiful, then there is something wrong in the relationship, and I my looks must be fading. I have to feel like I am the most beautiful woman to my spouse in order to feel complete.

 

I know some women would be bothered by this but I would be incredibly infuriated, insecure and insanely jealous

 

 

Well if my H saw an incredibly goodlooking woman on TV or at a store I don't think I would be jealous. However, if he worked with what he considered to be the most beautiful woman on earth I would definitely be concerned. I don't feel it is realistic of me to expect my spouse to think I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, because I'm not. Everyday there is someone more beautiful coming along. As long as I know that I am beautiful in his eyes is all that matters to me.

[Sam Spade]

That's a poor way to phrase it, but that's all. No problem to acknowledge a hot chica, but why go out of his way to gush over and over about it. I would just say that "She's not bad" .

There are hot chicks on TV and on the streets every day and I would sleep with all of them in a parralel universe where all I have to do for this to happen is to sit bac as a rock and have them wash over me (nekkid) as a tidal wave :laugh:. The point being that for humans sex comes with so many stings attached, that it is just silly to even get bothered that your partner finds somebody else attractive. My gf likes Daniel Craig a lot. So what? First, I'll whoop his ass, no problem, second, he is not going to swoop in and ask her about her day etc.

Same here, I might have fleeting thoughts (see above) of splitting Megan Fox in half in anger, but the thought of actually interacting with her makes me cringe. Most people will not rearrange their lives just so they could pursue the next marginally hotter thing in their sight.

[Rudderless]

And the point about getting worked up about an unlikely hypothetical situation is?

 

Your husband tells you he's a coke head...

Your husband tells you he's a bigamist..

Your husband tells you *insert stupid thing*

 

Blah blah blah, nothing to see here, move along...

[MissJoness]

My bf told me that he finds women from a certain area of europe to be the most beautiful women hes ever seen...he went on to say that when he traveled there for business once, he was completely in awe with how gorgeous they all were.

 

To add insult to injury, I am the complete opposite of what these women are.

 

To make it even worse, the woman he had cheated on me with was from there.

 

Now, my bf is a very intelligent guy...but when it comes to certain things, I really do think he is daft. Really...knowing him, a couple days later he realized what he said and slapped his forhead.

 

All the same...I really kept my cool, even though I was boiling inside. Call it rationalization, or what you will...but...every woman hes actually been in a relationship with has been black or latin. 90% of his magazines is dedicated to black/latin women with huge butts, plus the women who tend to catch his eye tends to look quite a bit like me...and he cant stand european accents...he visibly cringes when someone with an accent is trying to talk to him and gets all irritated cause he swears he cant understand them.

 

Putting all that together...I feel way better. He was talking out loud, said something insanely stupid that would have been better off kept to himself... In the end, what he said he likes, and what he seriously goes after are polar opposites. Plus...more importantly than anything else...he is with me. Hes the one who first saw me, and was attracted enough to approach me.

 

Im not going to insist I have to be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life...I dont need my ego stroked, I know how I look and I love how I look...Id rather he love me for it than lie to me about it.

 

Another thing..I got fired from a job for that....the guy I worked for mentioned to his wife (who worked admin and hired me) that I was so tall and stunning, and made some comment about my legs. She fired me so fast my head spun...I found out cause the agency I worked though called me up the next day and called me in...she could barely stop laughin as she told me how his wife was angrily yelling at them, over what he said and to not send anyone who looks remotely attractive to work for them again.

 

Goodness knows..just cause he looked at me wouldnt mean I was going to hop into bed with him. To be honest...I didnt even know he was looking..I was oblivious to him. He was a nice guy and all but...no interest whatsoever. I was of no threat whatsoever...and so thats how I try to look at it from where I stand with what my bf said to me too.

I don't blame his wife for firing you. I would have fired you personally if my husband said a thing like that. The fact that a woman he thinks he is so stunning is working with him, every single day is enough to infuriate me. He probably would have tried to pursue you if you stayed any longer

[Thaddeus]

I don't blame his wife for firing you. I would have fired you personally if my husband said a thing like that.

Of course you don't. Instead of bringing it up with your husband and discussing it like a rational human being, you'll simply fire the innocent person who had the unmitigated gall of appearing more attractive.

 

Why do I not find that surprising?

 

Point is, there's always going to be someone richer, more attractive, better at (insert job or sport here) than you (and me). So you can live with that reality and make your marriage the best it can be, or you can sink into a pit of bitter recrimination and despair.

 

Choice, as always, is yours.

[Island Girl]

I feel like part of my duty as a girlfriend is to stay pretty enough so that he doesn't need to make those kind of comments or look at other women.

 

And what happens as you age, or if you were in a disfiguring car accident, etc.?

Then your man does not have to be faithful because it is YOUR fault that you are physically unattractive - or that there is someone out there more physically attractive?

 

And then you say this:

I don't blame his wife for firing you. I would have fired you personally if my husband said a thing like that. The fact that a woman he thinks he is so stunning is working with him, every single day is enough to infuriate me. He probably would have tried to pursue you if you stayed any longer

 

So you think men have no capability of containing themselves.

They are driven to cheating by attractive women. Hence it being the woman's fault so we can't blame the poor poor man who lacks restraint...

 

You have a very unhealthy way of viewing yourself, women in general, and relationships.

You also have a terrible perspective of men.

You are degrading them by saying they're driven to have sex with attractive women without thought or conscience like a dog or a monkey with no concept of loyalty or fidelity.

It is scary you think this way and not at all accurate actually.

 

So do you think a very attractive woman who is dressed provocatively (or not at all) is at fault if she gets unwanted attention from men?

Since they can't help themselves at all it would be her fault right? Just like it is the woman's fault if her man cheats because she didn't make herself attractive enough, etc.

[carhill]

Of course you don't. Instead of bringing it up with your husband and discussing it like a rational human being, you'll simply fire the innocent person who had the unmitigated gall of appearing more attractive.

Thad, women get away with that behavior (like the wife firing the office employee) simply because men allow it and/or ignore it. The H had a choice too. If the employee was valuable to the business, he could have stood his ground, irrespective of her 'attractiveness'. IME, these problems happen simply because men are afraid of conflict with the woman who gives them sex and (supposedly) love. They fold. BTDT. Stupid and retrograde. Learning

[Trialbyfire]

*yawn* Oh pullleeeze.

 

If the men in your life are truly like that, you're hanging out with the wrong men.

 

I stand by my original assertion: If you want honesty in a relationship, then don't get all twisted up when you get it.

Eh? The man in my life is someone who'd never, ever say anything as stupid as the opening post. He's neither tasteless or tacky.

 

There's honesty and then there's verbal diarrhea with no societal filter. The comments referenced in the opening post are of the latter.

[donnamaybe]

I stand by my original assertion: If you want honesty in a relationship, then don't get all twisted up when you get it.

 

Honesty comes in many packages. My man has mentioned women before that were pretty, but he would certainly never go on about a woman as described by the OP's post.

 

Like Spanks said, perhaps HER honesty could also include that her man had a small dick and she wished it was better. That's honesty too. Think he'd like it? NOT!

[samsungxoxo]

How about if the wife doesn't take it as a big deal while apparently she is annoyed and well somewhat upset at the same time but doesn't show it.

 

Next day she's like ''Omg you won't believe me, I just saw Brad Pitt's imitation, he was so fine he sure would make me turn on fast''.. LOL bet he wouldn't like that comparison but yet he gets to say that whenever he wants to I see....

[MissJoness]

Of course you don't. Instead of bringing it up with your husband and discussing it like a rational human being, you'll simply fire the innocent person who had the unmitigated gall of appearing more attractive.

 

Why do I not find that surprising?

 

Point is, there's always going to be someone richer, more attractive, better at (insert job or sport here) than you (and me). So you can live with that reality and make your marriage the best it can be, or you can sink into a pit of bitter recrimination and despair.

 

Choice, as always, is yours.

 

What is there to discuss?

 

Simply, the husband was dead-wrong for stating that the employee he hired, was attractive and stunning--knowing that his wife is going to work with this woman.

 

Really, why a woman ignore that or not be hurt or feel threatened? The poster even stated that he made a comment about her legs' that is sexual harassment.

 

I would have reacted the same way by firing her. His comments means that he is going to cheat. No man who is trying to stay faithful would say that.

 

No way I am going to have another woman that my husbands finds stunning walking around and interacting with him on a daily basis if I can help it. Especially if he is noticing parts of her body. I'd smack him in the back of his head with a frying skillet just for saying that mess. If I am your wife you are supposed to only compliment me and no one else

[Thaddeus]

I'd smack him in the back of his head with a frying skillet just for saying that mess.

So now you'd resort to physical violence.

 

I don't say this in jest or with irony: Seek help. Seriously.

[MissJoness]

And what happens as you age, or if you were in a disfiguring car accident, etc.?

Then your man does not have to be faithful because it is YOUR fault that you are physically unattractive - or that there is someone out there more physically attractive?

 

I wouldn't want to live if my face got disfigured. Seriously I don't even watn to get old enough to get wrinkles. I feel that men treat women based on how they look, the prettier you are to them, the more power you have and the better they treat you in general. I don't want to know what its like to walk around with a disfigured face and never have a man find me visually attractive again. I'd be depressed and never ever leave the house.

 

 

 

So you think men have no capability of containing themselves.

They are driven to cheating by attractive women. Hence it being the woman's fault so we can't blame the poor poor man who lacks restraint...

 

Nope. When your husband is stating that another woman is stunning, and that she has 'sexy legs' it means he is going to cheat plain and simple. If everything was fine in the marriage and he was happy with how you look, another woman wouldn't even matter. He wouldn't even think to comment on her because he has a wife that is just as beautiful at home.

 

As for the poor woman, she just needs to leave and be out of sight from the husband. Life isn't fair but unfortunately I would not feel guilty about firing her. If it were her man she'd do the same thing

[Island Girl]

I would have reacted the same way by firing her. His comments means that he is going to cheat. No man who is trying to stay faithful would say that.

 

1. You can't stop a man or anyone else from cheating simply by firing the attractive person.

 

 

2. If the person you are in a relationship with will cheat on you if given the opportunity then you should end that relationship. THERE IS ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY - and it won't matter if the attractive employee was let go - there will be someone else somewhere else.

 

3. A man doesn't TRY to stay faithful. He either is or he isn't.

We are ALL capable of fidelity - we ALL make a choice whether we are or we aren't.

Each person is accountable for their decisions - and if a person decides to cheat then the betrayal of the relationship sits squarely on their shoulders. THEY made the promises - THEY entered into the exclusive relationship - THEY made the choice to cheat.

 

 

If your solution for his wandering eye is to fire the person he may be tempted by then you view relationships from a difficult perspective and I would hasten to say that the misplaced accountability excuses HIM of responsibility in the relationship and a man could get away with cheating on you and be forgiven simply because "it was all HER fault". :sick:

[donnamaybe]

So now you'd resort to physical violence.

 

I don't say this in jest or with irony: Seek help. Seriously.

 

No comments for the "total honesty" of telling a guy he has a small dick, eh?

[InspiredbyYou]

Well you must have a pretty big ego if you actually believe no other woman on earth could be that beautiful or more beautiful than yourself.

 

I expect my significant other to see women who are going to be far more beautiful than me, not because I don't think I am good looking, but because I know there are millions of really beautiful women out there.

 

Do I want to hear that? Probably not, since I don't need to know when my man is lusting after other women. But do I expect it? Sure.

[anne1707]

If your solution for his wandering eye is to fire the person he may be tempted by then you view relationships from a difficult perspective and I would hasten to say that the misplaced accountability excuses HIM of responsibility in the relationship and a man could get away with cheating on you and be forgiven simply because "it was all HER fault". :sick:

 

 

MissJones

 

I, along with possibly just about everybody else on here except you, agrees with Island Girl. It just makes me wonder how far you would take it by deeming a woman as too attractive for man to be responsible for his behaviour. If an incredibly attractive woman is raped, is that her fault too? I am quite sure that just as women find this attitude offensive, men will too.

[Thaddeus]

No comments for the "total honesty" of telling a guy he has a small dick, eh?

Sorry, didn't see that.

 

Well, you tell me which would be the more appropriate reaction:

 

• Give her a slap (akin to the frying pan in the head comment referenced above)
  
• Tell her you love her anyway and give her a big hug, have a giggle and then move on.
  

You're not suggesting that whacking a guy across the head with a frying pan is a rational response, are you??

[donnamaybe]

Sorry, didn't see that.

 

Well, you tell me which would be the more appropriate reaction:

 

• Give her a slap (akin to the frying pan in the head comment referenced above)
  
• Tell her you love her anyway and give her a big hug, have a giggle and then move on.
  

You're not suggesting that whacking a guy across the head with a frying pan is a rational response, are you??

 

No, of course not, but I SERIOUSLY doubt your woman denigrating and hurting you in that way would summons a hug and a giggle either.

 

Neither would I go to a plastic surgeon to solve the OP's dilemma, unless, of course, to remove the tumor AKA my SO.

[Thaddeus]

No, of course not, but I SERIOUSLY doubt your woman denigrating and hurting you in that way would summons a hug and a giggle either.

If I were confident in the relationship, frankly it wouldn't bother me at all. It would tell me something about what's going on inside her head and that might need some care and attention, but - and I say this with all seriousness - it really wouldn't affect me in the least.

[Sam Spade]

Thad, women get away with that behavior (like the wife firing the office employee) simply because men allow it and/or ignore it. The H had a choice too. If the employee was valuable to the business, he could have stood his ground, irrespective of her 'attractiveness'. IME, these problems happen simply because men are afraid of conflict with the woman who gives them sex and (supposedly) love. They fold. BTDT. Stupid and retrograde. Learning

 

 

 

Spread the word :mad:. Yesterday, my wonderful girlfriend jokingly said "No nookie for you" as a response to something purposefully offensive (not about her) I said. It was completely random, and we weren't doing anything along those lines, so it could have been indeed innocuous, but I was still surprised that she could say it even as a joke. I was also surprised by the urge to let it slide, and I probably did, but I still mentioned in response that no self-respecting guy will do anything they're uncomfortable with for "nookie". In retrospect, I should have simply declared "Fine, then I guess I'll be getting it elsewhere"

[torranceshipman]

One poster here said she thought it was her duty to look and stay hot for her man, so her man didn't go off and get attracted to other women (like in this OP's example). That's an awful doormat attitude: men are ALWAYS going to find other women attractive, and women are ALWAYS goingto find other men attractive: BUT thats not the point - it is a case of appreciating beauty (fine), not completely disrespecting your partner in the way that the guy in this original example did, by broadcasting his thoughts out loud in the most disrespectful way possible (not fine!).

 

When a guy does that it is designed to make the woman feel bad about herself. Not cool, and not the actions of someone that loves you...

[MissJoness]

Well you must have a pretty big ego if you actually believe no other woman on earth could be that beautiful or more beautiful than yourself.

 

I expect my significant other to see women who are going to be far more beautiful than me, not because I don't think I am good looking, but because I know there are millions of really beautiful women out there.

 

Do I want to hear that? Probably not, since I don't need to know when my man is lusting after other women. But do I expect it? Sure.

 

No. I would just be very angry and infuriated if my husband made a comment about another woman's looks--especially saying that she looks better than me. I would divorce him. I don't want to be w/ a man who thinks that way. That is just how I am.

 

What about the really beautiful women, do they not have to worry about this because they are always that 'really beautiful' woman?

[ReturnToSender]

What is there to discuss?

 

Simply, the husband was dead-wrong for stating that the employee he hired, was attractive and stunning--knowing that his wife is going to work with this woman.

 

Really, why a woman ignore that or not be hurt or feel threatened? The poster even stated that he made a comment about her legs' that is sexual harassment.

 

I would have reacted the same way by firing her. His comments means that he is going to cheat. No man who is trying to stay faithful would say that.

 

No way I am going to have another woman that my husbands finds stunning walking around and interacting with him on a daily basis if I can help it. Especially if he is noticing parts of her body. I'd smack him in the back of his head with a frying skillet just for saying that mess. If I am your wife you are supposed to only compliment me and no one else

 

Nope..he said that to her...not me. He was totally professional towards me...and me, I was as well, both in my work and how I dressed. I didnt even interact with him...he was a dr, and always in the exam room or his office...shes the one who was working by my side all day.

 

Anyway, I only found out cause when I was getting ready for work, my agency called to tell me they dont want me back and they told me the reason. It was even to them the strangest and most hilarious reason a temp had ever been let go from a job!

 

I did nothing wrong, and neither did he. I totally understand her being upset, but really now...theres something wrong with her that she would make a request to the agency to not send anymore attractive people. I mean, doesnt that seem even a little weird? And a little telling that shes a "tad" bit unreasonable?

 

Anyway, I was just sharing my experience from the other side...I do think that is something they should have been able to work out between each other. The idea I didnt deserve my job for no other reason than I appeared attractive blows me away.

 

Irony is...if they sent some "simple looking" unassuming woman in my place who was able to fly under the radar because she wasnt a perceived threat, and go after her husband right under her nose. Theres nothing to be had for a false sense of security...!

 

Who knows...maybe he has done things that cause her to not trust him...but if he was that way, then shed know, if not me, it would be someone else. Instead of going after another woman, she needs to go after the source and resolve things with him. Otherwise, every single woman he ever crosses paths with is a threat that needs to be eliminated. From no angle is that healthy excusable behavior!

 

I dont know..I just feel like just because a guy thinks another woman is attractive, isnt a good reason to deck her. He needs a good clonk for saying anything but its better to actually do something productive and work on ones sense of self, and on the relationship instead.

 

I know there are women far more beautiful than me...Ive passed by many a lady who has made me weak in the knees, but Im happy and secure with what Im working with, even with my shortcomings...and Im logical/realistic enough to know...and well, not egotisical enough to think Im the most gorgeous woman on the planet.