Simon1992 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Hey Im in the most confusing situtation ever! Im not very good at relationships which is why im posting this. My best friend has been going out with this girl since prom(before summber holiday) they seem pretty happy with each other although i think their relationship might be a bit boring as my friend is a bit lazy and doesnt come out a lot and ive actually never seen them poperly kissing or anything. He introduced me to her after summer holiday and since then we have been hangingout at every break at college and we are getting along pretty good. Its only been like a month since ive met her but i already have big feeling for her... The most interesting thing is i think she might like me as well because when my friend is not in school, me, her and one other person go sit around a cafe and we can sit there talking about god knows what and then when we actually both look at each other we can last for about 10 seconds and stop caring about anything else... Im really confused at this point because i really got to like that girl a lot and i would love to have a relationship with her. However, i dont want to stab my friend in the back... We have been good friends for over 3 years and i do like him, im not mad at him for being with that girl. I really dont know what to do at this point, please help me, i wonna go for the girl and to keep my friendship going but thats impossible isnt it? Unless i wait until they break up... I was thinking about telling her how i relly feel tomorrow but not actuall ask her out. I dunno im really depressed by this situation, please help me and also please dont leave pointless threads like GO FOR THE BITCH cuz i wont even read further. Thanks for any help, really appriciate it Sorry if there is any mistakes in there but English is not my first language;)
aerogurl87 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Well first things first, do not date her if she leaves her bf (your friend) for you. That's a big red flag, cause if she did it to him, you can bet she will do it to you later down the line. With that said, I'd wait things out. If they break up then try and date her, but wait till they break up on their own. Don't try and talk her into it or slyly steal her away from your friend unless you don't mind losing your friend in the process.
Dark-Farmer Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 To cut straight to the point you probably won't keep your relationship with both of them. You obviously are falling for her so your feels probably have already comprimised the friendship, harsh but true. Don't get me wrong i don't think it's your fault or wrong, it's just how you feel. If you think she likes you i would tell her, and then your friend. The key to keeping the friendship is 100% respect and handle it civily like a man. That's the mentality i would hold "i tried my best in a tough spot to do the best thing" then roll the dice. What you should get across is: - admit you have feelings for her. - say you didn't mean for it to happen - and that you don't know what to do - but you respect you friend and don't want to hurt him - and say that you plan to tell him you have these feelings (that you want to tell him before she does) if she likes you, then you tell your friend that you have feels for his girl and that you told her and now your telling him. that you respect him and would like to stay friends. Then give them time to sort their stuff out. You never know maybe they both feel it wasn't working. but your friend could also be very angry which could ruin the friendship. he could also be mad at first but in time forgive you. if she say she has no interest, enough said. still tell your friend but just say it's a stupid crush and you plan to spend less time with her. (and then do so) I would only do this if you think this is quite a bit more than a crush.
Maxwell Sage Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 You best snatch that breezy asapolis! JK, I don't feel like there's much you can do in this situation unless your friend is the one who ends the relationship. In which case, you can say that he didn't want her any way. If she leaves him for you, you'll look like a back stabber. Sorry, kid.
BCCA Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Simon, bros before hoes man. Or pals before gals, if you want to be more PC about it. The thing is, even if they broke up, he might not be real happy if you went out with her. Thats kind of an unwritten 'no no' in the book of male friendship and respect. You should ask him about it first, but if hes really your friend and not cool with it, that should be the END of it. And even at that, you need to wait until they break up on their own accord, doing anything to cause/further it is a douche move for sure. And like someone mentioned, dont think shes not going to do the same thing to you if she leaves him for you. Patterns, my friend.
Rudderless Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I would suggest you don't do this. She sees you as a friend, even worse, her boyfriends best friend. You are not a romantic interest for her. If you tell her about these feelings you have you're just going to cause trouble for yourself. Find another girl that you can fall for, one that isn't taken.
Trialbyfire Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Don't risk your friendship for someone who's willing to hurt your best friend. Stop hanging out with this girl or you're headed for big trouble. Give her distance and coldness. There are hundreds, if not thousands of single girls in college. It's just not worth the drama and loss of friendship. Also, listen to BCCA. You DO NOT date ex-girlfriends. It's too close for comfort, unless it's been years since the break up.
Hkizzle Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If I lost a friend for every girl I've liked, I'll have no friends........
BCCA Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If I lost a friend for every girl I've liked, I'll have no friends........ If they were your buddies girls, and you were thinking of making a move on them, I'd say you would be deserving of having no friends.
Author Simon1992 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Ok guys thanks for help, i decided to wait till they break up and then start doing something if my friend is ok with it, or when she does the first move and tells my best friend about it. But i really wonna tell her how i feel about her :/ This has to be the most depressing thing in my life -_- Alright thanks anyway
Recommended Posts