Patrice Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I've heard for the second time in two months the following phrase from married men complaining about their marriage "It is what it is". What in the world does that mean? I have a few thoughts of my own, but am wondering what you think!
TogetherForever Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I would think that married men who say that are stupid. It'd be funny to see their reaction if you were to ask them what it meant. Would you be willing to question them on it? TF
Thaddeus Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 It means that they don't have the stones to actually do anything about it. My favorite Urban Dictionary definition of it is:A trite, overused and infuriatingly meaningless cliche that is utilized by provincials who think they are adding some deep, meaningful insight during a discussion when all they are offering is senseless, unwarranted repetitiveness to what would otherwise be a far better conversation had they not shown the shallowness of the gene pool they spawned from by using this asininely useless and redundant phrase to begin withPretty much sums it up.
TogetherForever Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 It means that they don't have the stones to actually do anything about it. My favorite Urban Dictionary definition of it is:Pretty much sums it up. LMAO I'd ask the mm what he meant by "It is what it is".
JamesM Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I use that phrase but I can't say that I limit it to marriage. To me it means.... It is what it is. It is not what it should be. It is not what I want it to be. It is not what it was. When I say it, then I am thinking that I have resigned myself to the situation and am not happy being where I am. However, I know that it is a New Yorker comment and then it means kind of a way to say: don't overthink the situation. It is a reminder to keep things simple, and don't overanalyze things.
TogetherForever Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I use that phrase but I can't say that I limit it to marriage. To me it means.... It is what it is. It is not what it should be. It is not what I want it to be. It is not what it was. When I say it, then I am thinking that I have resigned myself to the situation and am not happy being where I am. However, I know that it is a New Yorker comment and then it means kind of a way to say: don't overthink the situation. It is a reminder to keep things simple, and don't overanalyze things. The bolded above might be what mm think/feel. That should be their answer when they are asked what they meant by "it is what it is".
ReturnToSender Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 However, I know that it is a New Yorker comment and then it means kind of a way to say: don't overthink the situation. It is a reminder to keep things simple, and don't overanalyze things. This has always been my interpretation...and what I mean when I use the phrase in any situation. Maybe its cause Im a NYer? LoL...Im not really, was only born there...grew up elsewhere. All the same...this is the definition I relate to.
GorillaTheater Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I say things like that most often when I feel like I'm being pressed for an answer but am not particularly inclined to talk about it. Whatever "it" may be.
TogetherForever Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I say that phrase when I feel something cannot be changed.
JamesM Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I say that phrase when I feel something cannot be changed. Yes, that is how I use it, too. And yes, a MM would use it in that way, too, if describing his marriage.
GorillaTheater Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Yes, that is how I use it, too. And yes, a MM would use it in that way, too, if describing his marriage. But would be stupid for doing so, apparently.
2sure Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 NY here too. Agree with the other defs and I say it when I do not feel the need to go into further detail
silktricks Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 "It is what it is" is a fairly common saying in this corner of the world. Things are and will continue to be just as they are now. They aren't changing - in other words, exactly what James said. it is what it is.
JamesM Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 "It is what it is" is a fairly common saying in this corner of the world. Hoping this isn't off topic, but I first heard it and began using it only a couple of years ago when Roger Clemens spoke before the Congress regarding steroid use (and made a fool of himself ). Anyhow, Brian McNamee, the one who said Clemens was a drug user (according to alleged drug seller), used it to answer a question or two. This did not set well with the congressman who asked the question. Thus began a lengthy discussion about what "It is what it is" really was. So I got some education there, and could sound smart answering this thread.
Author Patrice Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 Thanks! The context in both instances were similar - I'm not very happy and I've accepted that - and yes, I really don't have the stones to do anything about it. Seems kind of like a cheesy come on line or something - or trawling for a relationship while remaining in the marriage. Anyhow, I just didn't respond to the statement.
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 He's accepted things as they are and doesn't care to change anything. Could be content, or settling..Either way, it's enough for him.
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