justagirl09 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 This guy (whom is shy) had his eye on me for 2-weeks. I finally said something to him casually, to get the conversation flowing. We exchanged numbers, that following week and i texted him at night and we exchanged a few texts. Two days later, we met for drinks. The next day he was texting me again, saying he had fun, etc etc. We agreed to meet up the following day, and he texted me in the morning and we continued for hours. We had a really nice time together that night, and he texted me the next night. I didnt hear from him the next day. The following night, i text him and we chatted and he had asked me " Are you doing anything tonight"? i dont know if that was small talk or a hint, but i was busy so couldn't anyways. He hasn't initiated texts after that, but doesn't seem cold or short with me. Just wondering if i say something about hanging out again, not text anymore or what. I know he is shy, but he didn't have a problem texting before.
silic0ntoad Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Maybe since he tried to initiate something and was turned down he feels you are obligated to make the next move. I'd send him a message asking him what he's up to. Or, better yet, go primitive, and actually call him.
Author justagirl09 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 I did contact him. He said he wanted to get together soon. So, now i have to back off and wait for him to contact me or i will look clingy, needy, too eager. I know that he knows how to text me at least lol he would send me text last week asking how my day is going. I need a course in dating 101! i know that men are supposed to be doing most of the contact in the beginning so maybe i should have just waited. I just wasn't sure so thats why i texted him, but now i know!
Skump Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 i know that men are supposed to be doing most of the contact in the beginning Respectfully, that kind of folk wisdom is at the root of a lot of problems in relationships. I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that no one has done the research necessary to figure out the "statistically optimal dating contact behavior in substantially a priori conditions." (Though, er, if I'm wrong, I'd be impressed! Ha!) Regardless, the similarities between men are swamped by individual differences. Even if you had some statistically valid rule of thumb, it would be of limited practical value. Comport yourself with basic dignity and that aside let your actions be guided by kindness and your general impression of this guy's personality. If you think it'd make sense to contact him, do so. Screw the specious stereotypes.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If nerds and geeks can interact online, I hardly doubt a case of timidness can actually render someone from texting efficiently. And I agree with the poster above, specious stereotypes aren't applicable in this day and age, especially if most women can initiate contact as proficiently as the next men. If you're determined to date this " shy" guy, be ready to make extra efforts in asking him out.
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