She's Hot then cold any ideas?

[JayC1980]

I've been seeing this girl Louise 23 for 4 dates. She's a barmaid at our local pub and after chatting to her one night after a lock in we got on really well.

 

 

 

 

I saw her the week after and asked if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes.

 

 

 

 

I called her the next day and we arranged to go out on the Friday that week. We went to a small piano bar, had dinner and drinks, and then by the end of the night she was touching me and pulling me up to dance. We got on really well. Even had a little kiss when I dropped her off home at the end of the night. A* for the first date I thought. She even said it was the perfect night.

 

 

 

 

I've then had constant texts from her 15+ a day.

 

 

 

 

The Friday of the week after I was going home for the weekend so she made the effort to come and meet me for lunch where I work. She is also a journalist and so said she was coming over to write a review for a magazine on a spa. Now I work in the business district and know of no spa. So she travelled 45 mins to meet me for lunch. We had a catch up, and I asked where the spa was, it was another 20 mins away so no where near where I work really. We had a peck on the lips and then we went our separate ways. I wasn't getting a train home until 9pm that evening so after I'd finished work and after she'd been to review the spa, she came all the way back and we went out for a quick dinner. Well I say quick dinner, we ended up chatting having a laugh and before we knew it it was 8.30 and I was going to miss my train. Again I had constant texts off her over the weekend but I was at a wedding so couldn't reply, straight away.

 

 

 

 

I saw her on the Sunday when I got back as I went to meet mates at the pub. She was working but came and gave me a quick kiss when she saw me. Anyway another lock in happened that night and when I said I was going home as it was 1am on Monday morning and I had work in 8 hours, I decided to get a cab home. Before I knew it, she'd grabbed her bag and coat and jumped in the cab with me to come back to mine. A lot of kissing and cuddling was had that night, but we did not go the whole way.

 

 

 

 

I still had the constant texts off her that week, she had gone home mid week and we arranged to go out on the Friday, again I said I'll sort it all out and we went to the theatre and then had drinks after. Another great night and she even came back from home with a present for me. We later got a cab back to mine, we slept together. She left around lunch the next day as she was again working in the pub that night. I heard of her all week, but I didn't want to go diving in as I was off on vacation for two weeks the next Friday. After all her texts that week, I finally made the school boy error in reply to one of her texts I said "shame you're not sinking into bed with me". I had the reply of along the lines of that she wasn't looking for a relationship, but really likes me and loves spending time with me but has lots going on in her life at the moment.

 

 

 

 

A complete contrast to the texts she'd sent earlier in the week saying she wishes she was having a duvet day with me. I said fine I understand and wasn't wanting to dive into anything, and was not pressuring her and agreed that spending time with her was great.

 

 

 

 

Well it's gone down hill. I went away for two week's text her twice while I was out there. When I finally saw her again this weekend, she lent over the bar and we gave each other a quick peck even though I was standing with a female friend I had a lot of friends with me that night the majority of them being girls and I'd catch her looking over at me. I'd say hi if I'd walk past and she even got me a free round of drinks, but she's been an ice maiden since then, don't know if it was a bad night but the texts from her have dried up. And when we were sat around with friends at the end of the night she said "you're not waiting for me are you as I'm just going to go straight home as I'm tired".

 

 

 

 

I haven't heard from her since, I've had to initiate the conversations now, and when I've asked if she wanted to go out again later that week, she said I was persistant. I wasn't the one sending 20 texts a day, buying her presents on the 3rd date and traveling out of my way to meet her. I've backed off completely now as don't want to freak her out, I really like this girl, from a girls point of view if you did this to a guy what would it mean? I have heard that she was going to have a date with someone else but that he bailed on her last minute.

 

 

 

 

 

Confused and wanting to win her back

[boogieboy]

Something in her mind has turned her off to you. COuld be that she already was working on someone else, and thats why she said she wasnt ready for a relationship. She could be dealing with an ex also. When they go cold like that, its because someone else is in the picture...since you didnt do anything to turn her off. When you showed up at the bar with feale friends, she might have taken that wrong. But theres nothing you can do. She doesnt want to talk to you now, so you have to cut your losses. Sending her anything will only push her further away.

[Dannay]

If she has mixed feelings about you its because she has mixed interest. Move on, she's already thinking about someone else but just keeping you as a back up.

[aerogurl87]

Lol when I read the title to this thread, the first thing I thought of was that song "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry. "Your hot then your cold, yes then no, your in then your out, up and your down..."

 

Anyway, for her to go suddenly from 15+ texts a day to zero, is weird in my opinion. I'd cut my losses because if a girl bothers you that much and then suddenly says she's not looking for a relationship, then something is up. I'm not going to try and speculate, but I do think it'd be best if you just left her alone.