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"No more mr nice guy" I made some problems myself?

Lynx331

By Lynx331
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, to boil it down, a woman can always find another man who wants to f*ck her and will play her game, for awhile. Let her :)

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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OP, to boil it down, a woman can always find another man who wants to f*ck her and will play her game, for awhile. Let her :)

 

lol the thought of that gives a decent twist in my stomach...lol not as bad as it did a few days ago... where it almost made me sick.. but still gives a nice twist..

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Sure, a couple weekends ago my wife (stbx) mentioned something about going to Yosemite with 'a friend'. I had that feeling, for about five seconds, but then the therapy kicked in and it went away. I remembered that this is how it is. There is always a man sniffing around for some p*ssy and he'll play the game to get what he wants. Good luck with her. She's a master :D

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

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lol the thought of that gives a decent twist in my stomach...lol not as bad as it did a few days ago... where it almost made me sick.. but still gives a nice twist..

 

You'll know when you are healed when you can imagine her in the throws of passion with another guy and you don't bat an eye.

 

At least for me, that's when I started smiling A LOT again :)

 

It's get better, trust me. And remember, no matter how hot she is, some guy out there is sick of her crap! LOL

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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I still just wish I could talk to her..

logitech Established Member

logitech

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Lynx, you wish that but it's not all it's cracked up to be. I just had my ex over for a short while yesterday. To see her acting in a zone of complete indifference to me made me wonder but also reminded me that I am nothing to her now.

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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Lynx, you wish that but it's not all it's cracked up to be. I just had my ex over for a short while yesterday. To see her acting in a zone of complete indifference to me made me wonder but also reminded me that I am nothing to her now.

 

 

I don't kno why I want that.. I'm the one that dumped her.. But it's like.. I just want to hear her voice.. Just want to hear her tell me it will be ok.. Idk maybe that sounds stupid...

jaybird1043 Member

jaybird1043

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a few weeks ago I got dumped and was damn heartbroken I was sick to my stomach. i started reading No more Mr Nice Guy, read some things on that forum and on this one the past 2 weeks and I have to tell you i feel really good. I too could not even look at a pic of her with out getting tears in my eyes, let alone think about her with someone else, now after coming to the conclusion I was way too nice, too good for her and I was the catch, not her! She was gorgeous and thats all she offered to the world...flowers are beautiful too and they do more than she did!!! I'm just saying, you are the prize, do not put women on pedestals, treat them with love and respect...just do not kiss their @ss, they do not want you to nor will they respect you for doing so. Be a man and take the lead in the relationship, she will test and challenge but its her way of making sure you will protect her and stand up for her!!! Good luck Bro.

gavinus Established Member

gavinus

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I am just reading the book as well. I was/am a nice guy and even though I expressed my opinions on what was right or wrong, my ex still manipulated me via the use of her behavior to effectively get what she wanted, she either used anger, blame, aggression, tears, etc to get her needs met. I now realize I played a role in the failure of the relationship but not leaving her sooner, and I should have left long before I lost my self esteem and worth. My point is if somebody sets out to win an argument or discussion whatever the cost how can you win?

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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I just find myself wishing she would call me, or wishing she would show up at my work.. With a smile.. I just want to talk to her.. Or see her.. But since I told her I needed time.. And it was me who dumped her.. I know that's not going to happen.. I don't understand how this is so difficult, and why I just want to talk to her so bad.. It was a week of NC yesterday.. And it's easily probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do...

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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So I started a journal today where I can write a note to her.. And not send it.. And I was writing about how I wished she would contact me.. Or come find me... Like clockwork.. Boom.. Text saying hey how are you.. I read it unintentionally when I went to read my buddies text.. I have yet to respond to it.. And not sure ifi am going to.. But actually it makes me feel alot better that she texted me.... I don't know what to do..

Thaddeus Established Member

Thaddeus

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I don't know what to do..
You don't have to do anything.

 

Keep up the NC. It will get easier with time, whether she still insists on contacting you or not.

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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You don't have to do anything.

 

Keep up the NC. It will get easier with time, whether she still insists on contacting you or not.

 

 

Ok, I will do that. It just sucks because I want to talk to her so bad.. And it's like she knew what I was thinking because right when I wrote that in my journal I got the text.. I just wish it didn't have to be this way

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

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Ok, I will do that. It just sucks because I want to talk to her so bad.. And it's like she knew what I was thinking because right when I wrote that in my journal I got the text.. I just wish it didn't have to be this way

 

You're hurting/pining for her. You're like a crack addict trying to get clean. The only way you can break the addiction to her is to know deep down that you need to stay away from her, thoughts about her, etc.

 

So -- here's what you do:

 

1. You find some new hobbies you've been meaning to do and engross yourself in them.

2. You hang out with friends as often as possible.

3. You work out at the gym every day for at least an hour (cardio/weights).

4. You go to a Counselor if you can afford it. Trust me, this works.

5. You read a lot of self-help books on areas that you know you need to improve (NMMNG is an excellent start).

6. You get out and meet new people. Do what I did: Talk to every woman you can. Not because you want to hit on them, but because you need to get comfortable talking to women again.

 

Do this and ye shall heal. Healing and moving on doesn't just take time. It matters immensely what you DO with that time.

 

Cheers

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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That's exactly what I plan to do. I lost 25lbs of muscle furng the time I have been dating her. So I am going to hit the gym hard again and make myself happy with myself. You mention one other thing that I am very curious of... In reading this book.. I really am considering going to see a coucelor, you mention they are expensive how expensive are they? I take it you've went to one before? How was it? Mainly what bothers me the most is that all the bad things she did to me.. How I still wantto talk to her.. I am honestly really considering the counceling option.. So I would appreciate any information about it...

JaggedRoad Established Member

JaggedRoad

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It's around $100 per hour.

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Lynx331 Established Member

Lynx331

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It's around $100 per hour.

 

 

Really? Crap.. That's alot.. I don't know what my ex is going through.. But I believe she is getting counseling for free from a womens health clinic... But to be honest.. If it would really help me, I would have no problem paying for it

 

anyone tried it? What kind of results were had from it? Thank you all in advance

GrayClouds Established Member

GrayClouds

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Really? Crap.. That's alot.. I don't know what my ex is going through.. But I believe she is getting counseling for free from a womens health clinic... But to be honest.. If it would really help me, I would have no problem paying for it

 

anyone tried it? What kind of results were had from it? Thank you all in advance

Depending on where your at there my be a community based clinic that offers therapy at reduce rates based on income.

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

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If you have health insurance, it may not cost you a penny....

 

It's normally covered by health insurance.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Really? Crap.. That's alot.. I don't know what my ex is going through.. But I believe she is getting counseling for free from a womens health clinic... But to be honest.. If it would really help me, I would have no problem paying for it

 

anyone tried it? What kind of results were had from it? Thank you all in advance

Yes, we went through 14 months of MC. The cost was around 5K. The health plan reduced the psychologist's rate from 165 per session to 99 but did not pay for anything. I had to cash in some retirement to pay for it. Best money I ever spent :)

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