velq Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Hey guys and gals, I am at a bit of a crossroads on what to do. I had been with my girlfriend for 10 months when she recently said that she was not feeling the spark anymore and decided to end it. Here is a bit of the back story. We met in December, and I moved a bit too fast. We had a great base friendship, and jumped into a relationship too fast, so consequently we broke up 2 months in. She said she just couldn't feel for me the way I felt about her. I let her go. I tried to move on, but she was still on my mind. She then contacted me a month later, and we ended up getting back together. Then, we stayed together for the next 7 months. She said that I was the only one who had ever made her feel complete. (Without going into monotonous detail, she was really happy.) We recently started college (same one) this fall and have been here for 3 weeks. After what I saw as a wonderful summer in a relationship, she said she just didn't feel anything anymore. Here is the question I have. I really love this girl, and I have tried to make lists of what is bad about her. I still find she is right for me. Should I give her a month or two and try to rekindle something, or am I just being naive? Is this just a culutre shock of college, or a irreconcilable change? I am open to any and all advice. I know sometimes things just don't work no matter how good it was, but I want some opinions. Thanks for your time, Velq
BCCA Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I am at a bit of a crossroads on what to do. I had been with my girlfriend for 10 months when she recently said that she was not feeling the spark anymore and decided to end it. Here is a bit of the back story. We met in December, and I moved a bit too fast. We had a great base friendship, and jumped into a relationship too fast, so consequently we broke up 2 months in. She said she just couldn't feel for me the way I felt about her. I'll be honest, generally 2 splits in under a year is a very bad sign. I always say the first 6 months should be pretty painless, and you shouldnt be arguing or having too many problems for at least that long. The fact that shes dumped you twice in under 10 months tells me this probably isnt meant to be. I let her go. I tried to move on, but she was still on my mind. She then contacted me a month later, and we ended up getting back together. Then, we stayed together for the next 7 months. She said that I was the only one who had ever made her feel complete. (Without going into monotonous detail, she was really happy.) We recently started college (same one) this fall and have been here for 3 weeks. After what I saw as a wonderful summer in a relationship, she said she just didn't feel anything anymore. She probably came back out of loneliness more than anything, which is actually common. Her leaving again is common as well. Also, keep in mind that people grow, learn, and gain a lot of experience in college, so few long term relationships are really formed, IMO. Here is the question I have. I really love this girl, and I have tried to make lists of what is bad about her. I still find she is right for me. Should I give her a month or two and try to rekindle something, or am I just being naive? Is this just a culutre shock of college, or a irreconcilable change? Shes left you twice in 10 months, if you get involved with her again, could you ever be sure she wouldnt do it again? Dont waste any more precious time on this one, she had two chances and didnt make them count. You just gotta move on, bro. I know it sucks, and I know its hard, but just do what you can to not think about her or this situation for a while, and youll be fine.
Author velq Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 It kills me, but you're probably right. She still wants to be friends. Am I in the wrong pushing her away instead of doing that? I just don't think I can.
NopeNah Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 It kills me, but you're probably right. She still wants to be friends. Am I in the wrong pushing her away instead of doing that? I just don't think I can. You are not in the wrong at all. She left you so, why should you be there for her?
Author velq Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 What should I do when I see her on campus? Ignore?
NopeNah Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I'd go with the "nod/wave". Just like you would give to a stranger on the street.
BCCA Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I'd go with the "nod/wave". Just like you would give to a stranger on the street. Bingo. I would even smile or whatever, just dont stop to chat. She still wants to be friends And you didnt want to be dumped, right? So no one gets what they want.
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