bolso Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I don't even have a past and I'm just a first timer in everything even kissing (has no idea she's the 1st girl I ever kissed). I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now. She had 8 partners in the past starting at age 16 so that leaves me embarrassed. When she told me that as I was getting to know her better I lied to her and said my number in partners is 10. Anyway I'm planning to her but how will she react? Or do I keep the lie to myself and hopefully she won't find out?
sand26 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 If you care about her, you should tell her the truth. If she cares about you and you are honest and sincerely apologetic she will forgive you. good luck, the mfk
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 When you say "partners," what do you mean, exactly? She's had SEX with 8 partners? Or just KISSED 8 partners and you lied about having KISSED 10?
Author bolso Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 If you care about her, you should tell her the truth.Yes I love her so much. I'm thinking of telling her. I will be saying something along these lines ''There's something I didn't told you, I'm really a virgin and you're the only one I ever kissed but I was too embarrass so I lied to you, do you still want to be with me''? If she cares about you and you are honest and sincerely apologetic she will forgive you.I hope she doesn't make fun of me or finds it a turn-off. Nowadays I heard from few articles as well as my friends that a girl prefers an experienced guy and will back off if it's he's virgin. That's what I keep hearing that many girls aren't comfortable with a virgin guy.
Author bolso Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 When you say "partners," what do you mean, exactly? She's had SEX with 8 partners?I meant sex partners. Yes she had sex with 8 guys in the past, 4 one night stands 3 relationships and 1 fwb (friends with benefit).Or just KISSED 8 partners and you lied about having KISSED 10? No I lied about having 10 sex partners when I haven't even done it yet. I'm nervous as heck but she doesn't know she's my first. In fact she doesn't even know she's my first kissing experience as well..
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I meant sex partners. Yes she had sex with 8 guys in the past, 4 one night stands 3 relationships and 1 fwb (friends with benefit).No I lied about having 10 sex partners when I haven't even done it yet. I'm nervous as heck but she doesn't know she's my first. In fact she doesn't even know she's my first kissing experience as well.. How old are you guys?
BUENG1 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I don't even have a past and I'm just a first timer in everything even kissing (has no idea she's the 1st girl I ever kissed). I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now. She had 8 partners in the past starting at age 16 so that leaves me embarrassed. When she told me that as I was getting to know her better I lied to her and said my number in partners is 10. Anyway I'm planning to her but how will she react? Or do I keep the lie to myself and hopefully she won't find out? How old are you?
phineas Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I meant sex partners. Yes she had sex with 8 guys in the past, 4 one night stands 3 relationships and 1 fwb (friends with benefit).No I lied about having 10 sex partners when I haven't even done it yet. I'm nervous as heck but she doesn't know she's my first. In fact she doesn't even know she's my first kissing experience as well.. Why the hell would you want to know how many guys she's been with? Seriously. I honestly just don't care for that info. Unless she was a virgin or a prostitute it just doesn't matter to me. but, that's me.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Since it is bothering you, you should tell her. And it sounds like it is bothering you. And like another poster said, if she really cares about you, she will be understanding and forgive you. Personally, in your circumstance, I would be very understanding if a guy lied to me about sleeping with more people then he did and then then came clean because he cared about me. I would be more mad if he said he slept with 5 people and it was really 50 instead.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Since it is bothering you, you should tell her. And it sounds like it is bothering you. And like another poster said, if she really cares about you, she will be understanding and forgive you. Personally, in your circumstance, I would be very understanding if a guy lied to me about sleeping with more people then he did and then then came clean because he cared about me. I would be more mad if he said he slept with 5 people and it was really 50 instead. Yeah, I agree with this. I can understand why you may have felt intimidated by the fact that she had been with 8 partners, esp. some of them being one night stands. I think you should just come clean and tell her. Be honest and tell her that you were scared that she wouldn't like you and you were embarrassed. If she cares about you she will be okay with it. I don't think it's that big of a deal actually, my ex boyfriend was a virgin when I got together with him and I was not. I didn't care in the slightest.
alphamale Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Anyway I'm planning to her but how will she react? Or do I keep the lie to myself and hopefully she won't find out? keep yer mouth shut
Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 keep yer mouth shut Lies have a way of coming back to haunt you. Plus, the OP sounds like he feels so guilty that he won't be able to contain himself for very much longer.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I agree with Lauriebell. I mean, I totally get lying about it as a guy. But at this point, it sounds like he wants her to accept him for who he is. Not the perception he gave.
alphamale Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Lies have a way of coming back to haunt you. it depends...some of them do and some of them don't. we have all gotten away with some lies.
phineas Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I agree with Lauriebell. I mean, I totally get lying about it as a guy. But at this point, it sounds like he wants her to accept him for who he is. Not the perception he gave. I'm guessing the first time they have sex she will figure out the truth. He should tell her he's a virgin. She might be really into the whole being his first thing.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 it depends...some of them do and some of them don't. we have all gotten away with some lies. So that makes it okay to lie to your SO? No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
JohnP82 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Aren't people on here always screaming how "the past is the past"....even if that didn't exist. If I were you I would not tell her. Early in my dating life I admitted to a girl that I was a virgin and the result...two week later I was dumped.
Dark-Farmer Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Have you had sex yet? Yeah you should probably say something if you haven't. if she has had sex with 8 people she should be albe to tell. I see why you lied i did the first thing in my first relationship (because she was experience and i wasn't) it's embarrasing, but dude ... honestly why'd you settle on 10? When i did it i said once and it was a brief relationship, I later told her in an indirect manner when it came up. Larriebell82 is right usually girls don't care and will more than likely think it's special they get to show you the ropes. Make sure to tell her you're sorry for lying you were just extremely embarressed, hopefully she understands.
ReturnToSender Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 It sounds to me youre relatively young, and it also seems to me that this is something that bothers you. Better to come clean...there are too many guys around who will lie about are okay with it...I find it refreshing to see someone who actually feels guilt and wants to be honest with their partner. Do it. If she humiliates you for it...then you know what? The girl is an a**hole and youve saved yourself the trouble. My first boyfriend...I was only his 2nd kiss (and Im not entirely sure the first kiss counts...a girl he was friends with surprised kissed him one day, to get "first kiss" out of the way...they werent dating or anything) and I was his first sexual partner as well. I really adored him, and it didnt deter me from being with him at all...even though I wasnt a virgin, it was a heck of a lot of fun going through so many firsts for him. He was the first guy I really felt comfortable with too, so it was a totally different experience than what I ever had before...I actually consider him my first to be honest. I was the super adventurous one who always wanted to experiment and do things...I scared him a couple of times...hah! But exploring with each other and figuring out some of our boundaries was a lot of fun for both of us! Everyone has to have a first time eventually...every guy has been in your place at some point in their lives. Its nothing to be embarrassed about at a young age. And thats the truth!
alphamale Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 So that makes it okay to lie to your SO? sure, we all lie on a daily basis...
Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 sure, we all lie on a daily basis... I understand everyone tells little white lies occasionally, but this is a pretty big lie he has told her about himself. I would never want my partner to tell me something about himself that he's not.
Author bolso Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Thank you for all your responses. As for our ages which I believe one poster asked is 19 (me) and 18 (her). This has been my issue bothering me, yes at certain point, it annoyed me how I don't have any sexual history and the fact that several friends of mine already had a girlfriend by age 15 or 16. Two of them were only 14 years old when it was their first time while in high school I wasn't even into kissing nor dating and would focus on playing video games mainly. It's like I been innocent all that time while they already experience life. I think if I waited and still haven't done it, but will anytime this month as I'm ready already but kind of nervous at the same time, it must have been for a reason. Hookers as well as easy crazy women from the streets never interest me. I assume it's because I must be different. Even in some movies, they show how some virgin guys are into paying a hooker just to lose their virginity. That never caught my attention. As far as when I will finally reveal it, I will any time this week. I do think she will find out eventually one way or the other esp. the moment I do with her. If in the end she's not happy with it and wants an experienced man, then it's not my fault. I find it difficult pretending someone I'm not. Lastly if it's been almost 6 months already, wouldn't she somehow notice it? Unless I talked like an experienced person based on books, some articles on relationships I read online and my all my friend's experience on it.
Recommended Posts