melissa123 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Hey guys Ive been single for almost a year now My first love of 2.5 years broke up with me for another girl and then my second boyfriend did the same (and then turned gay!!!) Anyway like I said ive been on my own for a year now, ive had a few interests but they are never keen on me and always seem to find someone else. Im starting to feel really lonely and my self confidence has taken a big dive. Im 21 and I no that is quite young but im so fearful of growing up alone. All of my friends have partners and are starting to get engaged and have kids etc and I feel soooo left out. When my ex left me I took everyones advice and tried to get back out there and meet new people but no1 is ever interested in me Does anyone else every feel this lonely? And feel ugly and unattractive because no1 is ever interested in them?
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Aww.. You need to build yourself up again! You're a sweet woman and all you need is self confidence. All that you've been through, that pain and mistrust, has messed with your head abit.. Focus on the good things in your life. Friends, family, school/work, hobbies, things that make you feel happy.. I know this sounds silly, but seriously, SAY OUT LOUD to your mirror that you're beautiful. Go out and buy yourself some new clothes, pamper yourself because you deserve it! When you're least expecting it, some great guy will come find you.. The timing has to be right, so it seemed last time you really weren't ready.
bhweller Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 oh lord, you are only 21, come on now. If nobody is after you then you need to meet new people thats all. If you are a virgin or something then hang out with people who respect that.
Maxwell Sage Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I can relate. My first love left me for another guy... after 2.5 years... and the only girls who like me, I tend to have little to no interest in. =( I'm also twenty one and feeling not so confident as well as lonely. In fact, I usually wake up feeling lonely since I lived with my ex during the whole time we dated... so going to sleep and waking up by myself is kind of a reminder of what I'm missing. It would be cool to talk and at least keep each other company until these feelings wear off. My aim sn is the same as my alias on here. I hope you feel better!
livingnightmare Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Feel exactly the same! But you now what Time to build my body up and become attractive and feel confident even if I attract the wrong types im not ready 4 anything serious! Im 30 only ever slept with my ex and she left me after 6 yrs to sleep around! But F**k will I let her shallowness break me! This ugly mug is on his way to be super stud! JUST BELIEVE!
EmperorR Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Patience, trust me when you least expect it or care someone will pop up it always seems to happen. Just have to take it easy, I know how it is when my ex fiancé left I felt unwanted unattractive but you get over those thoughts and realize youbwill b loved again and your not ugly.
adamt Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Hit the gym and pool and get into tiptop shape. it will boost your confidence and get you noticed. Also people will sense if you are a negative person low on confidence. So it becomes a catch 22
jv032889 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I'm kinda in a similar situation...My confidence isn't that great but I do know that I'm decent looking:love:. I've always had a problem with guys coming up and talking to me. I usually find out the guy is attracted to me when they start to date a new girl, give up etc. Any one have any ideas? Am I initimidating?
brock9911 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 melissa i think most people on here have some sort of issue with themselves. weather you think your not pretty enough, skinny enough, muscular enough, smart enough. theres some insecurity regardless of how confident you are. its the reason your on this site, for reasurance. im constantly playing sports and keeping active to stay healthy cuz im never happy with myself. watching everything i eat. it gets quite annoying. and im 26, and have the same feelings of being lonely or wanting someone around. im always around friends and family to keep me entertained. even when i had a g/f i enjoyed the company of others. just do your thing, worry about only you, and dont worry or think about whos next or when they will come. cuz if your pushing for it, it wont be as natural. just like your trying to hard. now im going to go and try to follow my own word, because everyones an expert until it has to do with themselves haha. jv- being intimidating and confident in yourself is a good trait, dont fret. enjoy it, its more attractive when someones secure with themselves. and if guys move on to another girl...f*ck em, another one will be coming along
Author melissa123 Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Thanks heaps everyone!!! Your replies mean so much in a time like now I used to feel quite happy and quite confident in myself by now I feel like I must be a freak and hideously ugly to not have anyone interested in me I see people of all different shapes and sizes, with all different personalities that have partners or atleast someone intereseted in them. It makes me feel like there really must be something wrong with me to have no one even slightly interested. I try not to come across as having a low self esteem and being desperate but maybe as some of you mentioned you can just tell? Anyway thanks so much for your advice. If really helps in a time like now
Zeta4PhiSius Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 You're 21 AND you've had somebody? At least you're normal and you have a chance unlike me. Try living with a disability that makes you a social leper.
matt367 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I feel the same way melissa. Im sure your attractive and guys probably have trouble working up the nerve to talk to you. Im lucky that i have school to take my mind off my ex and her recent decision to get married to a man she met 2 months ago(!). Point is dont question your attractiveness, its all about attitude anyway and you seem like a good person. Its hard to meet people these days but i'm sure that there is someone who probably is attracted to you as we speak he just doesn't know how to approach you. Good luck and be happy.
Author melissa123 Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Sorry Zeta I was feeling a bit down and didn't realise how selfish my post may have sounded Im sorry about that. Actually as short and simple your post was, it was a bit like a like a slap in the face. I need to toughen up and count my blessings other than whinging about whats going wrong. So thankyou. I wish you all the best. And thanks Matt, That was really sweet of you! I would love it if I were so atractive that guys were to scared to talk to me! Unfortunatly thats not the case but thanks for saying so I will just wait and hope the right guy comes to me! Thanks for replying and hop everything is ok with u:) Keep ur chin up
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