Northwesthunny Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hello all, im new to this forum! Feel like i needed somewhere to vent and get some help realy, and im hoping this is the place that will give me the answers on how to get over it. I was with my army boyfriend for just under 2 years - everything was fine, no problems (so i thought) the distance was hard but we coped with it. He deployed out to afghan in april and everything was fine, we still contacted each other, we still had the phone calls etc. Before he went we had booked to go to NYC for over new year, and we had been making plans for when he was back on 2weeks leave in August. So you can imagine my surprise and disbelief when out of the blue i had a phone call from him at the end of june to say that he couldnt do it anymore, that it wasnt what he wanted and he couldnt help the way he felt. I couldnt belive if, neither could his friends or family. They all said that it might be because of where he is and that when he gets back on leave he will realise what he had done! But no such luck!! I asked him to come and meet me in the august when he was on leave to explain why he had done this to me, which he did but all i got was ' i dont know' to any questions i had asked him. He said that he had felt like he hadnt want to be in a relationship for a while before he left, but i dont belive him - he bought me a £300 ring for my birthday, we had booked new york, he sent me message saying how much he loved me and how much he would miss my baby blues when he was away etc - that doesnt seem like the sort of thing you would do if you didnt want to be with someone. I really cant get over him, and it doesnt help that he is still out there so everytime it comes up on the news im petrified somthing has happend to him. Any help and advise would be gratefull as you can imagine im driving myself crazy xxx
Maoky Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Been nowhere near your situation, let alone a long distance relationship. If I was you, I'd definitely want a reason, or at least some kind of confrontation. Hang in there
Author Northwesthunny Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 Thanks, but i dont think im going to get any reasons from him other than the one he has given, that he didnt want a relationship before he went. Ive had the confrontation with him, where he came to my house but like i said he just kept saying 'i dont know' and 'im sorry'. We spoke over msn when he was back to and he wanted us to stay friends but i said that i couldnt - i also sent him a letter when he went back to afghan saying that i had no more fight left in me and that i couldn contact him again and it was up to him.
adamt Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 You won't get a perfect answer to get closure. Even if you get answers you will have more questions. I have questions for my ex but i realise i just won't get them answered or get the answers i want to hear. Try to let go and think about how you are going to look after yourself. Focus on yourself and what you enjoy doing. Then you wil begin to let go.
Author Northwesthunny Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 You won't get a perfect answer to get closure. Even if you get answers you will have more questions. I have questions for my ex but i realise i just won't get them answered or get the answers i want to hear. Try to let go and think about how you are going to look after yourself. Focus on yourself and what you enjoy doing. Then you wil begin to let go. Thanks, thats what im trying to do, but it is so hard with him still being over there. Im hoping that once he is back and his tour has finished i will start to be able to move on
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