sunshine28 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hello! So im obviously new here, but i have a question for all of you.. My bf just dumped me, we have broken up once before but got back together, on my initiative - i called him & texted him, when we got back together I asked him (later) why he did it, he said I would have called myself you just didnt give me a chance. Now he broke up with me again, we have been for the past week, first he said he needs time to think, then we actually got back together for a day, then he called me and said he just couldnt do it. Throught this all he has been telling me he still likes me as a friend, he likes spending time with me, etc. ALso throughout this whole time I have been texting him almost everyday, arranging times for us to meet and talk, and then crying when we actually meet and talk. Two days ago we met up and I told him I probably cant be friends with him, also I asked him why he was being so wishy washy and what his deal was, basically what it boiled down to is tht he couldnt bring himself to tell me that he had no more feelings for me so he tried to "soften the blow" by saying allthis other ****. Surprisingly it felt really good to hear the truth, and to know that there was no lingering feeling. I am now going to have no contat with him and try to move on, although I do want him back...I just feel that if I hadnt been so whiny and needy and pathetic during the breakup there might still be a chance...I guess Im wondering, did I spoil any chances of a reconcilliation by making it such a messy breakup or is there still a chance that if I really do have NC, no cryng, no texting no nothing that he will miss me? I forgot to add that I do need to have contact with him because he needs to handle some business for me through his agency. The longest time I can hold this off for is a month.. also when I do see him how should I act?
Maoky Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 NC isn't for getting them back, it's for helping yourself. I don't believe in playing games and thinking of ways to get them back, if he really wanted you back, he will eventually say so. Missing someone does not mean you want to be in a relationship with them. I miss my ex, even though I was the dumper, but I wouldn't go back to them for at least a few years until they've matured more. Don't ponder on it for too long, give yourself some respect and start letting go.
Author sunshine28 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 What were the circumstances of your break up?
Weezy Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 Hello! So im obviously new here, but i have a question for all of you.. My bf just dumped me, we have broken up once before but got back together, on my initiative - i called him & texted him, when we got back together I asked him (later) why he did it, he said I would have called myself you just didnt give me a chance. Now he broke up with me again, we have been for the past week, first he said he needs time to think, then we actually got back together for a day, then he called me and said he just couldnt do it. Throught this all he has been telling me he still likes me as a friend, he likes spending time with me, etc. ALso throughout this whole time I have been texting him almost everyday, arranging times for us to meet and talk, and then crying when we actually meet and talk. Two days ago we met up and I told him I probably cant be friends with him, also I asked him why he was being so wishy washy and what his deal was, basically what it boiled down to is tht he couldnt bring himself to tell me that he had no more feelings for me so he tried to "soften the blow" by saying allthis other ****. Surprisingly it felt really good to hear the truth, and to know that there was no lingering feeling. I am now going to have no contat with him and try to move on, although I do want him back...I just feel that if I hadnt been so whiny and needy and pathetic during the breakup there might still be a chance...I guess Im wondering, did I spoil any chances of a reconcilliation by making it such a messy breakup or is there still a chance that if I really do have NC, no cryng, no texting no nothing that he will miss me? I forgot to add that I do need to have contact with him because he needs to handle some business for me through his agency. The longest time I can hold this off for is a month.. also when I do see him how should I act? I don't think it's too late. My EX did the same thing to me when I needed space. She started by calling and crying, and always trying to hang out, to which I had 0 interest because she was always a reck. Then she went NC, and only broke it to get some stuff back. This got me missing her a bunch and I ended up calling her and getting back after a few sleepless nights. The bottom line is is that going NC is your only play. If you do see him, be nice, smile, but don't ask any questions, just do your business and be on your way. If he's wishy washy, he'll either realize he made a huge mistake, or just move on, and if that's the case you never had his heart anyways.
Author sunshine28 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 Thanks for the advice guys. My only prob is that we really weren't dating for too long..only 6 mos. During that time he did seem like he developed genuine feelings for me, he even suggested moving in together 2 times, last time being like end of july early august. Now that we've broken up i feel like hes trying to date, hes on some dating thing on facebook.. which I also happened to join just to see what it was about. I cant become too consumed with this, I just want to feel better, either by getting over him or getting him back...
danny75 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Your username and story sounds very familiar to me, although if you are the person who i think you are the story doesnt quite add up. message me if you recognise my pic on here.
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