Sevenscars Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I am still bitter. It comes every now and then as a wave of hurt/anger, and I find myself holding back from calling her to say...who knows what, just to say. After almost 4 months of NC from me, this seems ridiculous. Why do I still hold these feelings of anger, resentment, and bitterness? Why can I not soothe my feelings into some form of not caring? The nerve of her to email me a few days ago, just to tell me that she gives up and I win. Give WHAT up? Give me up? She did that far too long ago. It's almost funny to wonder if she thought I would respond to her, especially after not hearing from her on my birthday. Maybe it's because I actually cared for this girl, even while she was running around behind my back. Why did she feel the need to email me just for that stupid little reason? I wish I could give her a piece of my mind. Instead, I am holding back, to let the anger and bitterness fade. Somehow, I comprehend that contacting her is not worth it. Thanks for the email, good to know that I "won," even though I lost long, long ago. Lost my love and any minuscule shred of respect I had for her, that is.
Phedre Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Maybe it is sorta good you still feel these things otherwise maybe you would have caved when she sent you that email (maybe she meant she gives up on NC and you win because she emailed you first??) and been all blubbering excited about it and would have started reappling the haze we all use to cover our eyes to the faults of and pains caused by those we love. So maybe you still need to have those things in the back of your mind so you can pull them to the front when she realizes it was all a mistake and you will be able to tell her that yes it was for her because she lost a good man for good and then leave it at that. I do hope you work through the last of those 'back of the head thoughts' because no they really aren't healthy and need to be dealth with so that you don't take any of them out on the new person you will inevitably start dating. Good job not taking the bait on that email
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