gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 After reading the thread a few months back on PUA community, I decided to read the PUA material. I came across something called 'confident persistence' wherein you continually pursue a girl you like who has low interest or no interest at all. Is this actually applicable in real life? Any experiences here? Another question would be, wouldn't the girl give in just because its like pestering someone over and over again and not genuine interest in you?
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Don't do it!! It's only worked on me once, my cheating ex-H, who persisted for 2 years. Every other guy who's tried it on me, before and after the ex, has given me the creeps.
Author gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 wait , hold on TBF. So you two actually got together? What happened? Did you fall for him or did you give in because he was pestering you? Did you have any interest in him at all initially? (lets remove the breakup and cheating and then intuition out for now)
Sam Spade Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Confident persistanse is understanding that when a woman says "No" she really means "maybe" (and when she says "maybe", she means "yes"). NB: Do be aware that there is a major difference between "No", repeated "No", and "NO!", however. Only genuinely relaxed guys can get away with this because crossing into douchebag territory is too easy. However when you believe that you're the best thing since jeans, as long as it is in a boyish, semi-serious fashion, many or most women will be amused enough by some persistence to maybe at least go on a date.
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 It took 2 years of getting in my face by insinuating himself into my social circle through mutual friends, constantly asking me out, and basically being where I would be, since we shared the same industry but with different companies, through industry committees, which was where I met him in the first place. After 2...long...years...of this, I finally decided to be more open-minded and accept one date invitation. And yes, he was very charming and made me believe that he was someone he wasn't, so yes, I fell for him after that.
Hkizzle Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 It means not giving up too quickly. Except when a needy guy does it it just gets annoying. A PUA (player/jerk) keeps at it, but is cool and not pushy about it, with a chance that a girl will let her guard down. You ain't asking because you're reading about it and want to try it out are you? haha, it's sad. PUA material should only be used by guys that have a confidence problem as training wheels, it ain't going to get you happiness. Definitely not pestering a girl.
Author gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 After 2...long...years...of this, I finally decided to be more open-minded and accept one date invitation. And yes, he was very charming and made me believe that he was someone he wasn't, so yes, I fell for him after that. in those 2 years, did you get involved with anyone else btw? I'm asking because if you did, he mustve have been persistent and this didnt at all deter him.
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 in those 2 years, did you get involved with anyone else btw? I'm asking because if you did, he mustve have been persistent and this didnt at all deter him.I was dating and also had one STR. And nothing deterred him. The man was relentless, driving me nuts.
Author gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 It means not giving up too quickly. Except when a needy guy does it it just gets annoying. A PUA (player/jerk) keeps at it, but is cool and not pushy about it, with a chance that a girl will let her guard down. You ain't asking because you're reading about it and want to try it out are you? haha, it's sad. PUA material should only be used by guys that have a confidence problem as training wheels, it ain't going to get you happiness. Definitely not pestering a girl. I'm actually keen on trying it. Especially if it's a girl I really like. Are you asian? I think you'd be familiar with this (as with tradition oriented cultures) because it comes off as a very traditional way of courting a female where you chase for some time and the female rejects you before she says yes.
Hkizzle Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Haha, if you mean that Asian girls say no but are in fact interested, but playing hard to get, then yes. My point was, stay away from the PUA stuff if you're already able to attract girls just fine. It's only corrupting and there's nothing good about the lifestyle.
Author gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 I was dating and also had one STR. And nothing deterred him. The man was relentless, driving me nuts. so you never gave him a direct 'no' or he took your 'no's' as 'maybe'? did you ever lay it straight to him i.e 'im not interested so please stop it'?
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 so you never gave him a direct 'no' or he took your 'no's' as 'maybe'? did you ever lay it straight to him i.e 'im not interested so please stop it'? You don't know me very well if you think they might have been subtle rejections. I said "no", not "no, I'm busy that night" or "no, I can't make it". Straight...NO.
Hkizzle Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 You don't know me very well if you think they might have been subtle rejections. I said "no", not "no, I'm busy that night" or "no, I can't make it". Straight...NO. Yeah dude, you don't know her well. She's a feisty one, I'm surprised she didn't kick that guy's ass!
Author gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 You don't know me very well if you think they might have been subtle rejections. I said "no", not "no, I'm busy that night" or "no, I can't make it". Straight...NO. your post already nails your character But still he actually got through to you. And as you said you fell for him. So persistence does pay off. He must have done it right.
New Again Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 After reading the thread a few months back on PUA community, I decided to read the PUA material. I came across something called 'confident persistence' wherein you continually pursue a girl you like who has low interest or no interest at all. Is this actually applicable in real life? Any experiences here? Another question would be, wouldn't the girl give in just because its like pestering someone over and over again and not genuine interest in you? I've had two guys do this to me, and it was horribly obnoxious and only served to make me lose my temper. There are only so many times a girl can explicitly say "No thank you, I'm not interested" before she starts getting rude. I had to block AIM screen names and phone numbers, and one of them would keep making new screen names, and texting/calling me from his friends' phones until I threatened to get a restraining order.
Hkizzle Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I had to block AIM screen names and phone numbers, and one of them would keep making new screen names, and texting/calling me from his friends' phones until I threatened to get a restraining order. Wow that's bad........ Btw, what's your AIM, wanna go for a date?
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