suhapie Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 In January, so 9 months ago, my boyfriend of a little over a year broke up with me. A year doesn't seem like a long time, and its not, but during that year we made large progress togethor as human beings, in our relationship, and in our art careers. Right after he left me I told him I could not have a casual physical relationship with him, but he sort of teased me about it, coming on to me and such, and I gave in. Until the past few weeks, we had been keeping in close touch everyday, texting, talking on the phone for at least half an hour usually and seeing each other almost daily. He set up boundaries which entailed me not coming on to him physically, but he could breech that boundary all the time. This whole time I was completely involved mentally, but also went on a couple of dates to attempt to be normal. He would text or call during the dates so I would respond because he had a tendency to show up at my house if he could not get in touch with me. Also, he was mostly being super sweet and supportive, encouraging and loving. Also told someone who was interested in me he may still want to be with me. I have been needy, frusterated angry and hysterical. He still talks to me. But ever since I moved a little farther from him ( 1/2 a mile) he has distanced himself more and I feel like I wasted my time, but am also convinced we are still in love. I feel like a loony toon. Any advice about how to not betray him and my heart? Or any thoughts about anything?
boogieboy Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 If he wanted a relationship with you again, he would have made it happen by now, since he knows you still want to. Be he doesnt, so take advantage of the distance. He kept going back to you because you let him, and he knew he could get what he wanted from you. You really shouldnt answer his calls anymore, you will never get what you want from him again.
Author suhapie Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 how can you tell it's so final? Do you think the push and pull is neverending or can it dissolve into something healthy and committed. He has put so much energy into staying friends with me and making sure I'm nearby, but still being kind of harsh sometimes. confusing.
boogieboy Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 how can you tell it's so final? Do you think the push and pull is neverending or can it dissolve into something healthy and committed. He has put so much energy into staying friends with me and making sure I'm nearby, but still being kind of harsh sometimes. confusing. Keep reading around this message board. The story is always the same. Many times when a guy dumps a girl, he wants to keep her around for a booty call only. But he doesnt tell her that, he acts like he is into her again. Then he backs off once he gets what he wants. Thats the hot and cold youre seeing. It will never change, even if you dissappear for months and come back to him. He dumped you because he isnt into you anymore, so he wont want to go back to you. Otherwise if he couldnt stand to be around you at all, he would ignore you. When a woman dumps a man, generally theres no chance of a reconciliation, not even a booty call. There are exceptions though. Do yourself a favor and cut him off so you can move on with your life, otherwise you will keep feelin like a looney toon for years.
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