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Question for men: Would you break up a relationship if she is "too much of a woman"?

Soulmind

By Soulmind
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Soulmind Member

Soulmind

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Hello Guys! Please, honestly give an opinion. Would you feel that dating a woman that is maybe intimidating, could bring your fears out of the closet and make you think twice to continue a relationship, breaking up with her as a "self protecting" action to avoid being hurt in the future? (I mean, if you have insecurity issues) and that rejecting her was the only thing you could do in that relationship to prove you had the upper hand?

 

Thoughts???

BentSpine Established Member

BentSpine

Posted
Posted
Hello Guys! Please, honestly give an opinion. Would you feel that dating a woman that is maybe intimidating, could bring your fears out of the closet and make you think twice to continue a relationship, breaking up with her as a "self protecting" action to avoid being hurt in the future? (I mean, if you have insecurity issues) and that rejecting her was the only thing you could do in that relationship to prove you had the upper hand?

 

Thoughts???

This post feels like a vortex of insanity so I'll reply and quickly disappear before I'm sucked into its madness: The healthy thing to do when someone wants to leave you is to let them go.
sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
Posted

I'm not sure what the OP is trying to ask.

 

What does being "too much of a woman" mean?

 

Size/weight/height?

 

Double uterused?

 

Conjoined female twins?

 

Fabulous pumps on the feet AND hands?

Thaddeus Established Member

Thaddeus

Posted
Posted
Double uterused?

 

Conjoined female twins?

 

Fabulous pumps on the feet AND hands?

OMG, s4s, you got me laughing out loud! :lmao:

 

Frankly, I'm thinking that the "too much of a woman" comment is a self-defence mechanism designed specifically to avoid responsibility. Sort of a, "He broke up with me because I'm too much of a woman" or "I intimidated him" or the like. Puts all the responsibility to the end of the relationship on the other party and avoids responsibility for her own actions.

 

I could be wrong (oddly enough, that's happened before) but that's how it comes across to me.

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
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OMG, s4s, you got me laughing out loud! :lmao:

 

Oh please! Everyone knows women can't be funny. ;)

 

Honestly, the only times I've ever heard the phrase "I must be too much woman for him" was out of very large women or a men in drag saying it for comedic effect in a movies. Never heard it used seriously IRL.

Soul Bear Established Member

Soul Bear

Posted
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im a bit confused too, but I'll give my opinion anyway.

For me, " to much of a woman" is one who would wear high heals out on the hill and complain about getting dirty. I prefer a woman who is equally as much a tomboy as she is a lady.

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted
Hello Guys! Please, honestly give an opinion. Would you feel that dating a woman that is maybe intimidating, could bring your fears out of the closet and make you think twice to continue a relationship, breaking up with her as a "self protecting" action to avoid being hurt in the future? (I mean, if you have insecurity issues) and that rejecting her was the only thing you could do in that relationship to prove you had the upper hand?

 

Thoughts???

 

 

If a guy breaks up with you because he is afraid you will hurt him, its because he thinks youre not that into him. Thats not intimidating even though he is protecting himself. But really, how often to people dump someone because they are TOO into them? Other than that, its an excuse so that he can dump you and see someone else. Dont make excuses for him.

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Soulmind Member

Soulmind

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Oh please! Everyone knows women can't be funny. ;)

 

Honestly, the only times I've ever heard the phrase "I must be too much woman for him" was out of very large women or a men in drag saying it for comedic effect in a movies. Never heard it used seriously IRL.

 

Ha ha! Ok Ok... What happened is that I was reading a blog :

http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=23&p2_articleid=116

 

If you read at the end of it, this woman states that situation. I was just wanting to hear opinions...anyway, having said that, I think that sometimes, we start dating someone because mutual first attraction, but later... there are men or women that exceeds or differs in educational or succesful levels, and when we realise that, our fears and insecurities can ruin a good relationship and we think that the best thing to do is to let go of that person. (Again, this only can happen if we have insecurities!)

 

My auntie had/suffered from this all her life, until she seemed that finally found a man at her level. She is a well known writer and historiographer in Uruguay/Argentina, and some of her former men couldn't cope with her intellectual level and leave her for an "easier/traditional" woman.

I remember also, when I was younger, I fell in love with a guy that was a magazine's model. I couldn't believe my luck. He could have any woman he wanted! (In that case, I thought he was too much of a man for me!) I'm an attractive woman, but insecure. He was loyal and a good man, but my insecurities made me flee far, far away from him for the fear of being hurt. (there were no reasons for that!)

My last date, was the opposite, he was thinking all the time that because I have a wide circle of friends (he doesn't) and more than average male attention..then, he thought that I was going to cheat on him. I tried my best to show him loyalty. He couldn't get rid of his fears and "rooted" feeling that I was going to hurt him. I was not. It was a shame because I really, really liked him. And now it is me the one is hurt.

 

Do I make sense now? :)

 

PS. Ignore grammar mistakes (Spanish is my main language!)

tkgirl Established Member

tkgirl

Posted
Posted
This post feels like a vortex of insanity so I'll reply and quickly disappear before I'm sucked into its madness: The healthy thing to do when someone wants to leave you is to let them go.

 

 

exactly! the reason(s) someone decides to bail on the relationship don't really matter in the big scheme of things.. just the fact that they want out should do. I know so many of us want to know "WHY?!!" and it will only drive you crazy trying to figure it out... and you still will never really know why.

The last guy that dumped me tried to give me all these reasons why and to be honest, none of them made any sense to me... all I needed to realize that he just wasn't the guy for me and it's ok... there's tons of other guys out there!

Just focus on your positive attributes and all you have to offer and then find a guy that appreciates you for who you truly are! he's out there... I promise!

Butterflying Established Member

Butterflying

Posted
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The reason's you've mentioned for your experience with breakups is the result of insecurity of the people who were dumped. As someone else mentioned, it's an excuse a person uses to make themselves feel better after they've been dumped. And if someone tells you that you're too much woman/ man it's because they have gender identity issues. For instance, a gay man can be described as "too feminine." And a lesbian woman can be described as "too masculine."

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
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My last date, was the opposite, he was thinking all the time that because I have a wide circle of friends (he doesn't) and more than average male attention..then, he thought that I was going to cheat on him. I tried my best to show him loyalty. He couldn't get rid of his fears and "rooted" feeling that I was going to hurt him. I was not. It was a shame because I really, really liked him. And now it is me the one is hurt.

 

Do I make sense now? :)

 

Thats his issues, it has nothing to do with you. And thats not intimidation, its his insecurity only. Theres nothing you can do about his issues, but kudos on putting in a valiant effort for him to trust you.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

Posted
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Do I make sense now? :)

 

Never.

 

 

jk - I've never had a problem with a girlfriend being too much of a woman.I don't mind if she has guy friends.

 

There are women who are kinda tomboyish or are really naturally cool who have alot of guy friends who are very, very trustworthy.

 

There are women who are less so who have a lot of guy friends who are attention seeking - that's where the issues tend to arise.

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

Posted
Posted
Hello Guys! Please, honestly give an opinion. Would you feel that dating a woman that is maybe intimidating, could bring your fears out of the closet and make you think twice to continue a relationship, breaking up with her as a "self protecting" action to avoid being hurt in the future? (I mean, if you have insecurity issues) and that rejecting her was the only thing you could do in that relationship to prove you had the upper hand?

 

Thoughts???

 

If you are dating a women who you think is "intimidating" then the problem isn't her, it's you. And if you're so insecure that you feel you need to break up with her to "gain the upper hand" then, my friend, you don't deserve her. I hope she finds a confident guy who appreciates her for who she is.

 

Cheers.

BCCA Established Member

BCCA

Posted
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I, personally, could not fathom any situation where I would break up with a woman for being 'too much of a woman', unless that meant she was a total b***h, ridiculously high maintanence, or consistently took 6 hours to get ready. If shes going out with you, you wont really be intimidated.

 

breaking up with her as a "self protecting" action to avoid being hurt in the future? (I mean, if you have insecurity issues) and that rejecting her was the only thing you could do in that relationship to prove you had the upper hand?

 

I thought the exact same thing about my ex. To answer your question, no, people really dont do that in my experience, but as Thaddeus alluded to, its easy to tell yourself that so you dont look at yourself.

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