COOLEST1 Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Here's the story I met this young lady about 4 months ago. I haven't been in a true relationship in a long while because of things in my past from a ex of mine like cheating and a abortion that I did not want. I state this for a reason. I built this wall to protect my emotions becuz It really took it's toll on me. My girlfriend has really put the effort in with me to work past this. I tore dn the wall that I built to be with her. She said that she wanted to share her life with me. Every thing from marriage to children. We are both 36. I have never been married or had any kids. Her family told her that I wanted to use her in every way. Her family is very manipulative. They need her for support and they are the ones who use her. They don't want her to have anything that they don't have haters in other words. She lost a child to violent crime 1 1/2 mo. ago. I know that she was going to go thru a change. I told her I loved her and that I wanted her to lean on me. I told her that I wanted that I wanted to spend my life with her. 3 weeks ago she moved her remaining kids, mother, sister and her kids out of state to get them away from this violent enviroment from which we came. Her whole trip she called me allyhe time telling how much she missed me (1 week) and she couldn't wait to get back to me. Before this happened we we talking of moving to more prosperous state together and starting a new life. Anyway her family is moved and she came back to work here, she has a good job but right now she is the sole income for her family. She got back into town and she hasn't contacted me at all. I know she is here becuz my sister and other family members have seen her. I know that she hurting from the lost of her child to having to move the remaining kids away for a time. I would never step in between her and her kids becuz if I had any then I want the mother to stand strong for the kids. I have called her 3 times since and texted twice that Im still here for her but haven't done anything for about 1 1/2 weeks. It went from all good to nothing just like. I'm in limbo she just stopped communicating and I don't understand y? I won't try to contact her becuz I want her to sort thru her issues but I know can help her. I need advice.
GrayClouds Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 r becuz I want her to sort thru her issues but I know can help her. I need advice. I am very sorry for your loss. You sound like a fixer, a good guy that like to help solve people problems who you care about. It is a wonderful trait but many times us fixers focus on other rather then solving our own issues, which is much harder. It is very kind you want to sort through her issues but that is not your responsibility, it is something only she can do. Her realtionship with yer family is 36 years in the making, it is not likely to every change much less because of someone she meet 4 months ago. Take her no contact as a fact she does not want to be with you. Focus on yourself and healing over the lost relationship. Good luck.
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