My story

[It's Me]

I had this girlfriend a long time ago. The only girl I've ever truly loved. This was years ago. We broke up when I was about 21 years old. I'm 27 years old now. For a year after we broke up she tried to get back together with me. I said no but I was still really angry and **** at the time plus I was so young. She would consistantly come buy my work always dressed to impress. She would call out of the blue, etc...after that she completely spilled her guts about how she made a mistake letting me go and that she still loved me. The reason I was so angry with her was that while we were dating there was a guy she worked with who was chasing her. After we broke up she then started dating him immidiately after so it's safe to say I was pretty damn pissed. I was mean as hell to her the times she kept visiting and calling. After she spilled her guts about how she felt I wasn't mean anymore but I told her I could never trust her again so I didn't want her back. After that she again jumped right into another relationship and from what I heard was with that guy for 3 years.

 

All in all we didn't talk again for 5 years and all of a sudden I'm at the liquor store and I see her. We end up talking for a long time and she gives me her number. We hung out a lot. Talk about life and all and for the past couple years its been great being friends. I can tell she wanted to hook up. I was fighting with my own feeling of course. It's a character flaw I have. She always layed down what I believed to be hints over the couple years we were just hangin out. Examples.

 

1. This one IMO is pretty damn obvious. I started seing this girl I worked with and Jen my ex calls and asks me if its true I have a girlfriend. I tell her yes and she then asks "So I'm not gonna get my second chance with the perfect guy"? I asked her to repeat that and she refuses and doesn't wanna talk anymore. That was about a year ago.

 

2. This one's from a couple weeks ago. I'm talkin to her over the computer and she was telling me that she lost her phone and was lost without it. I told her that I enjoy not getting phone calls sometimes and I only answer my phone when a select few people call. So immidiately she calls me and when I answer she tells me "I had to make sure you answer when I call".

 

3. I'm out with one of my girl friends who asked me to go shopping with her for cloathes for her boyfriend. I do and all of a sudden I get text message saying "I saw you in the mall but you looked busy with another girl"

 

4. The one other thing I find confusing is whenever she was seeing someone or whatever she would always make it a point she wasn't ever having sex with the guys. I don't know why she felt it was important to tell me that.

 

5. There are plenty more I can;t remember but I'm sure you get the picture.

 

I came to realize I still had feeling for her when other guys would ask her on dates and it would actually bother me. All in all I've still been getting mixed signals from her. Sometimes I could swear she wants me to make a move and sometimes she's so ***in cold its crazy.

 

the one thing that's been a consistant is she never seems to want me to leave her life. I tried all those years ago and she would always pop in to work or call me. It wasn't until I avoided everywhere she would be and she got into the 3 year relationship that I actually got to move on without her. Even when she met this guy in Cuba who lived in Montreal (6 hours from where we live) she talked about how he was perfect and how Hamilton guys suck. Well I told her that anyone you meet for a week will seem perfect and I figured that I'm a Hamilton guy so I'm not gonna stick around and listen to her ****. So I just removed her from MSN and said **** it. French boy can have her andI'm onna do my thing. She calls right away and tells me she noticed I removed her from MSN messanger and she wanted to know why. I told her what was up and she tells me she needs me in her life and she can't have me leave. Again why the hell can't I leave her life? Why does she need me in it?

 

So last week I said "**** it" and just layed it out on the line. I told her exactly how I felt. Nothing held back. I knew that if I didn't find closure with her I'd never fully move on to someone else. So I tell her how I feel. I figured it was time to be a man. I hate playing games.

 

Well of course after all the signs to go for it she tells me that she did have feelings for me but now she doesn't. She said we've built up an amazing friendship and she doesn't wanna risk it. She said she loves me like a brother. I just told her that I have no interest being her friend. I'm not willing to sit on the sidelines and watch her date other dudes and act happy about it. So I said my goodbye and she started with the whole "you'll regret this" stuff which is fair. She said that when I realise I want her as a friend she won't be here. I just told her I have enough friends and asked her why she thinks I'll come back into her life. I never have before. She's always come back into my life.

 

I said what I believe is true that she knows damn well that I mean more to her than just being a friend. I told her that we both know that if I'm gonna be in her life I'm destined to play a bigger role than just being her friend. I also told her that she'll never find a guy like me and that if I stay in her life that she'll never find a man for her because I'll make them look bad. I didn't mean to sound cocky I just really feel that way. She kept denying it which is fine but when I asked her that "what if I was standing right in front of you and looked you in the eyes? Could you still say you feel nothing for me other than friendship?" She just replied by saying "Please Don't do this".

 

So we talk the next day and all of a sudden she then tells me she never had those feelings for me and that she never layed any hints down that she did. She told me that if I got mixed signals it was my own fault and she never layed anything down to make me think she liked me. She said she felt like I was bullying her into giving me a second chance. So I told her I'm not interested in dating again. I was makin clear that I want nothing to do with her anymore. I want her gone for good this time because she brings nothing but pain and games playing into my life and that the next time she misses me and decided to make a comeback into my life to just leave me alone and stay gone. I told her no more calls or messages because all we're gonna do is fight. I said I wouldn't even read her messages anymore becuae she's playing the same mind games she played when we were 20. She got really pissed off at that remark and I just told her "The truth hurts doesn't it?" She got mad I believe because she told me I was still the same 20 year old guy she dated all those years ago. It seemed when I reversed that on her I really hit a nerve

 

All my friends just told me that she just has some huge "Daddy Issues" and she had them back in the day and they're still there and have probably gotten worse. Her two siblings are both really ****ed up I know that for sure. She also just got breast implants put in which I believe show some insecurity issues. Which is too bad because she actually had small but beautiful breasts. I mean that as a compliment and not a perverted remark. She did indeed have many issues when we dated all those years ago. She's become very stone cold and kind of mad at the world a lil bit. Maybe the breast implants have given her some kind of confidence boost and now she thinks she's big **** and I'm not worthy anymore. The heck if I know.

 

Sorry it's been kind of an emotional week. I've never layed myself out on the line like this before. **** hurts sometimes lol.

 

Just thought I'd share. Thanks guys.

[It's Me]

sorry it's so long of a story. I usually play the whole tough guy thing and don't let things bother me but I'm actually getting tired of being that guy. Everyone said I did a good thing by showing my emotions. They said that takes great strength. It was one of the hardest thins I've done.

[It's Me]

I come from a close nit family as well so maybe that's why I don't understand her way of thinking.

 

the "Daddy Issues" I'm reffering to mean that she lacks a strong male figure in her life. I know her dad was around but she came from a broken home in which her mother disowned her and her step mother became the motherly figure in her life. Her dad then had an affair and left the step mother for the other woman.

 

My ex even admitted to me that she had to be hospitalized after all that for anxiety and she doesn;t really talk to her dad all that much anymore becuae she refuses to accept the new woman in his life and he moved far away to be with her.

 

Sorry for my replies I'm just trying to lay out all the information.

[ace2666]

Well, you been doing the right thing in trying to establish NC but she keeps breaking it. Now you can finally move on. Six years of mixed signal, I think it's time for you to walk out of her life. All she is doing is stringing you along. You should not be #2, and if she can't understand that, her loss.

[It's Me]

Well, you been doing the right thing in trying to establish NC but she keeps breaking it. Now you can finally move on. Six years of mixed signal, I think it's time for you to walk out of her life. All she is doing is stringing you along. You should not be #2, and if she can't understand that, her loss.

The funny thing is I've never seen another man in her life recently at all other than Frenchy boy. I know she works two jobs and is always working late. We used to meet up after work a lot or talk because we usually work late all the time.

 

So what the heck am I #2 to? Know what I mean.

 

I told her she was stringing me along and she flat out denies it. It's just weird that she has such a target on me for whatever reason.

 

It's just weird that she has shown such strong feelings for me. But is denying herself the perfect guy for her. (I'm not arrogant I just know I treat women very well). Maybe it's true what they say. Women love jerks.

 

Also by "NC" you mena "no contact"? Sorry I've never seen that shortform

[It's Me]

Well, you been doing the right thing in trying to establish NC but she keeps breaking it. Now you can finally move on. Six years of mixed signal, I think it's time for you to walk out of her life. All she is doing is stringing you along. You should not be #2, and if she can't understand that, her loss.

Thanks for the compliment

[john1988]

I've came to the conclusion females need a nice guy around when things go belly up with the badboy, they need someone who will be their emotional rag and give them a confidence boost when they are feeling low. The truth is I think they still want to test if they can get us back but as you know now they really have no intention of going back with us it's just a sick game. Don't waste anymore time with her you've told her straight and she will have more respect if she contacts you again ignore her advances until she begs for you back but in reality that will never happen because she's just not that interested.

[It's Me]

I've came to the conclusion females need a nice guy around when things go belly up with the badboy, they need someone who will be their emotional rag and give them a confidence boost when they are feeling low. The truth is I think they still want to test if they can get us back but as you know now they really have no intention of going back with us it's just a sick game. Don't waste anymore time with her you've told her straight and she will have more respect if she contacts you again ignore her advances until she begs for you back but in reality that will never happen because she's just not that interested.

the thing is I used to be with her a lot. She never mentioned nor did I see another guy. She was always addiment in telling me there was no other guy. She actually seems to have quite a mistrust and hatred towards men. I'm just guessing she has all the same issues she had those years ago when we dated. She was just hiding them differently. And make no mistake, I don't want her back at all anymore. I have absolutely no respect for games players. They actually make me sick. I convinced girls who play games have quite a lot of issues. If you read the incredibly long story(sorry) I'm thinkin its pretty obvious she';s a games player.

[john1988]

My ex never had the decency to tell me she had boyfriends, she went through around 3 guys when she was leading me on, theres nothing worse you just feel so used, I like your attitude and it's paid off you have your answers now so theres no more room for her stupid games

[It's Me]

My ex never had the decency to tell me she had boyfriends, she went through around 3 guys when she was leading me on, theres nothing worse you just feel so used, I like your attitude and it's paid off you have your answers now so theres no more room for her stupid games

Thanks man. I know I'm the stronger individual. I come from an iron spined close family that are always there for eachother. She comes from a broken home and thru all the years I haven't seen a figure of strength when compared to what I've had.

 

I just learned she still has issues.

 

She always told me when she was seeing someone and even asked my advice on why all these guys never stuck around.

 

I just told her they were probably getting their piece of ass and then taking off:p. She would always get pissed and flat out deny sleeping with them. Then I told her that's probably the reason they're taking off:p. I told her if they're that shallow then F'em.

 

She was stringing me along. For what? Why games? They make me sick.