cecil brown Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Long story short, GF of 8 months broke up with me last Tuesday, saying even though she loves me and I'm a wonderful man, she just has too much going on in her life to commit to a relationship. She also mentioned needing to find herself, learn to be independent, etc (she's 25, never really been on her own)....We talked for about 2 hours that night and I get the feeling she's overwhelmed and confused with her life. I care about her and her daughter, but I told her I wouldnt harrass her and would be going NC after that phone call. Any ways, she still has quite a bit of stuff at my house. I asked her when she was coming to get it? Her response was "do I have to decide now?" WTF is that? You want to leave but yet you cant come get your stuff? Any insight on how to proceed? I'm planning on just staying NC until she decides she wants her stuff. Althought it kinda sucks seeing her/her daughters stuff at my house.
Thornton Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Perhaps she feels too awkward about the whole thing to face up to you right now. Or maybe she's not 100% sure that she wants to end the relationship, and wants to have a reason to see you again. If you definitely want the relationship to be over, pack up her stuff and send it over to her place. If you want to give her the opportunity to change her mind, leave her stuff at your house and see what she says when she eventually decides to collect it. If you don't like seeing her stuff around the place, box it up and put it aside until she comes for it.
Exit Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Thornton got it right. If you really want it gone, pack it up and send it or bring it to her. If it's causing you discomfort having to see it every day, get it out of there. She may be trying to keep you on a string by saying she wants her space but she wants to leave her stuff at your house, making you think that she'll be back eventually. You might fear that you'll come off heartless and disinterested to give her things back, but if she asks why, just be completely honest, say you don't want to look at it every day.
Author cecil brown Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 Packed everything up and stuck it in the spare bedroom. Guess now I play the waiting game.
Exit Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Well you should set a deadline for her, ask her to get it this week, don't just wait indefinitely.
jaybird1043 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 No...you do not play the waiting game, you go live your life now. Do not give her anymore of your emotions/time, healing and making you stronger are your only priorities now.
Art_Critic Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Packed everything up and stuck it in the spare bedroom. Guess now I play the waiting game. Just go give her the shiot dude.. or mail it to her.. Take it to her house and put it on the porch or give it to a fmaily member.. anything but allowing her to control the when and where. Take your life back... By the way.. any time a girl uses the I have to go find myself line it means there is someone else in the wings she wants to date.. She is 25.. time to let her go find herself while you go find someone else...
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