northstar1 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hah.... just when I was feeling good, I got a text message from her on mistake. It said "guess he came back and left the flowers...", she must have meant to send that to her new BF, and she's referring to me and the flowers I had with me the other night. I never took them back. Maybe someone found them outside and put them on her stairs again. Brush it off dude. They can't hurt you now, your happiness is in your hands man.
Author Exit Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 Yeah I know, I'm kinda laughing about it now. For the last few weeks I was begging her to just send me one text message, telling me to stop pursuing her, telling me she wanted to be left alone, but all she gave me was complete silence. Ironically, now that it's all over, I finally get a text from her, on accident. I replied, didn't make a big deal out of it, just told her that I promised I was done after the other night, and I certainly hadn't been back to leave the flowers there.
Author Exit Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 Hah, I actually feel like I got a bit of a "last laugh" with that, it's just funny that she texted the wrong person. Still can't figure her out. Her first reaction was that I had been at her house and left the flowers there again. So she goes to text her BF that I had been there again, but STILL doesn't send ME a text saying "GO THE HELL AWAY!!!". She must be hell bent on just never saying anything to me. Strange.
northstar1 Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hah, I actually feel like I got a bit of a "last laugh" with that, it's just funny that she texted the wrong person. Still can't figure her out. Her first reaction was that I had been at her house and left the flowers there again. So she goes to text her BF that I had been there again, but STILL doesn't send ME a text saying "GO THE HELL AWAY!!!". She must be hell bent on just never saying anything to me. Strange. You prob never will figure her out, and thankfully you never will have to again. Count your blessings man.
DustySaltus Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hey Exit, you were one of the first people who replied to my crazy situation. I was actually about to get on a plane back to ISRAEL and try and work things out. But things that you said as well as H2H made me realize what she was really all about. I have no doubt that I could've went back there, tried to make things work, get stuck in a bad marriage with a few kids and never come back to America. I wasn't willing to see this side of things but slowly but surely I did thanks to people like you. Thanks again.
hoping2heal Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Hey Exit, you were one of the first people who replied to my crazy situation. I was actually about to get on a plane back to ISRAEL and try and work things out. But things that you said as well as H2H made me realize what she was really all about. I have no doubt that I could've went back there, tried to make things work, get stuck in a bad marriage with a few kids and never come back to America. I wasn't willing to see this side of things but slowly but surely I did thanks to people like you. Thanks again. I'm glad you were able to see the forest through the trees Dusty. The headache is not worth it when you can have someone who ISN'T a royal pain in the ass most of the time and pulling dirty tricks left and right. I'm seriously proud of you for standing up for yourself and not letting her manipulation hold strong on you, good for you. OP, she probably was using you to pump herself up in front of the new bf. My former friend did that when her bf was around, she would over dramatize the situation so she could play victim and make herself look better, judging by the fact she's going around texting people about it, probably what she's doing, don't worry about it.
caramel c Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 Exit, you are on your way to recovery. I'm very happy for you. You are going to be just fine!
Author Exit Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 funny to hear u say that hoping2heal. ive been thinking for a while that i think she likes playing the victim. one of the first things she told me when i met her was a story about someone who supposedly stalked her at her last job. i think she definitely likes attention and thats why she never told me to stop.
hoping2heal Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 funny to hear u say that hoping2heal. ive been thinking for a while that i think she likes playing the victim. one of the first things she told me when i met her was a story about someone who supposedly stalked her at her last job. i think she definitely likes attention and thats why she never told me to stop. I'm gonna agree with that. Like I said, my former friend would really play up and aggravate things and then stand back and go cry to her boyfriend. Exactly the reason I don't consider her a friend anymore, because I realise she played us all for fools and she was a snake in the grass. But she would really play things up like how guys wanted her and were trying to be sexual with her and get her boyfriend to approach them. She also had an ex who she claimed to despise, but she also egged him on to stay in her life and give her attention too, she didn't care about him she was just snakey. Your ex sounds a lot like that, take it from me having known someone like that for 6 years..my former friend is now getting married to a man she has cheated on, lied to about her ability to have children, lied about every and everything under the sun, and has profressed she doesn't feel bad about any of it and "as long as he doesn't find out, what's the problem?" Trust me, you are dodging a BIG bullet by getting someone like that out of your life.
Katherineos123 Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I think what you did was incredibly romantic (incredibly risky) but incredibly romantic! You took the ultimate leap of faith, the grand gesture.... It takes a very strong man to be able to put his heart on the line like that. I find it to be very admirable. Im sorry things didnt work out the way you wanted, but at least you didnt go down without a fight.... It seems as if your ex let go pretty easily. The people who are able to do that make me nervous. Its as if no matter how many memories, laughs, loves, dreams you make together, you are in the end, disposable to them. She's numb, much like my now ex... But you know what!? As cliche as it sounds, Id truly rather feel something than nothing.... At least you know youre alive. Trust me. There are 3790759865175487639 girls out there who would love to have a guy like you! You live anywhere near Boston? Hahah.
Author Exit Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 Thanks so much for the continued support. You're right, she is numb. I tried telling her that, that apparently something happened in her life where she developed this emotional defense to just shut down and become numb, and I told her she was going to end up giving up on some really good people if she kept giving up at the drop of a hat, but she'll have to learn that on her own. Still feeling somewhat "down" but it's not so much about that I lost her anymore, I think my love for her has finally died and I think I'm mourning that loss. As crazy as the last few days had been, and somewhat regretting what I did, I know I am already leaps further ahead healing than I would be if I was still wondering. I don't think about it nearly as much anymore.
gavinus Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 As long as YOU have closure that is all that matters!! Feeling your pain, take care
Author Exit Posted September 22, 2009 Author Posted September 22, 2009 Blah... I still feel crappy when I first wake up. Wasting my mental energy trying to figure her out when I know it will never make sense. Just hard to reconcile that the one person I've loved the most my entire life ended up turning around and doing the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me.
wondering_girl Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 i'm sorry we're all going through this exit.. i guess it'll take time i keep telling myself that.... he screwed me over. i can't believe mine either, 4 years exit
Snugglepuss Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Wow, thanks for this post, Exit. It made me cry as I thought about my own trials and tribulations that I am currently undergoing. Years ago, with my first ex, I was feeling the way you were. There was no closure and I felt I needed answers so I went over to my ex's apartment and I found him laying on the balcony smiling and laughing with his new girlfriend in his arms. I felt a sense of betrayal and I was utterly mortified, but I can laugh about it now. I also saw "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". In fact, I almost want to watch it again just so I can cry and let it all out. It will be cathartic.
silic0ntoad Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Hey Exit- I can honestly say, I don't think you did anything wrong. I mean, sure, you went against every aspect of NC, but in the end, you got what you deserved (An answer), albeit in a manner you did not expect. Such is life. Either way, I would say you are a virtuous man. You fought til the bitter end, clung on with fleshless fingers, and finally gave in. At least now you an take solace in the fact that you did everything you could do to try and make it work. Sure, some say NC is the best way to get over someone, and it is. But sometimes you have to roll the dice in life. Without a risk, there is never a big reward. That's one lesson my old man taught me that I'll never forget. The world is full of great women- but you have to sift through them to find the right one. With time this will all pass, as all things do, but give yourself time to heal, and never, ever contact her again.
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