htdboy Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 i've known this girl since i was in high school, we became really good friends my senior year, about four years ago. I had really strong feelings for her back then, I was timid and shy, i fumbled around asking her out, i got turned down. Then we both went away to college i stayed close she went far, well this year she moved back home and started going to a college around here. Since high school we stopped talking nearly as much as we had just occasionally..But since she moved back she has broken up with a fiance and has started hanging out with me a lot lately..My feelings for her never went away. I have gained a lot of self-confidence since high school and i know it goes a long way when dealing with women. But now I get little hints here about "well what if i was your girlfriend how would you do this?" And other stuff like that. We talk a lot during the week, and we've started going out together, to bars, clubs, movies, and stuff...but i'm still not sure if i should ask her out. I don't want to ruin our friendship.. And it's only been a little over a month so i want to give her more time to deal with her break up, I don't want it to seem like i'm trying to pick her up off the rebound but i'm kind of worried that if i wait too long that she'll find someone else before me. We went out the other night and she told me how she "wants to take time to get things straight with herself before she goes out with someone again, then she stopped and kinda looked at me and said if there's someone that likes me, i doubt it, but if there is hopefully they'll just wait for me to be ok." Idk if i'm reading too much into this or what i guess i'm just looking for that old push one way or the other
Rylle Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 i got turned down. she told me how she "wants to take time to get things straight with herself before she goes out with someone again This is all you need to know. I'm so sorry, but if this girl was really interested in you, you two would be dating; either 4 years ago, now, or in between. And frankly, your "friendship" with her is already "ruined" because it's not a true friendship. She's only using you because she's lonely and hurting after her break up with her fiance. Stop spending so much time with her and giving her so much attention and find someone who is actually interested in you and deserves you and your attention.
BobSacamento Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 "Well what if I was your girlfriend...." Man that is weak. I hope you used "There's only one way to find out" line there.
Rylle Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Seriously, with that line she's either just lonely, OR if she was asking about a specific scenario, I bet you anything she was using it as a sneaky way to bitch about her ex-fiance.
Author htdboy Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 well thanks for the responses definitely putting things in perspective, i had already decided not to act on anything, but you definitely just cemented that decision in.
boogieboy Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Theres no real friendship there, you want her as a gf, and she is using you for friendship cuz shes lonely. I say you torpedo this non friendship right now, put the heavy flirting moves on her, and try to kiss her. If she recoils, bail out and drop her like a bad habit. or at least use her to make it look like at least one woman wants you - to the other women in the bar.
BCCA Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Theres no real friendship there, you want her as a gf, and she is using you for friendship cuz shes lonely. I say you torpedo this non friendship right now, put the heavy flirting moves on her, and try to kiss her. If she recoils, bail out and drop her like a bad habit. or at least use her to make it look like at least one woman wants you - to the other women in the bar. Yeah, this relationship is a mirage. You see more there than there actually is, and she is using for emotional support knowing you want to date her. Any line about needing time blah blah blah is BS 999/1000 times. I wouldnt even bother trying to flirt, I think youre too far gone. Dude, if a girl isnt clear about how she feels about you after 4 years, you can probably assume she isnt interested.
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