97Diesel Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 So i posted on here a couple months ago after me and my ex broke up. you all said no contact, and i thought it was a bad idea so i kept talking to her like we were still together. then a couple weeks after we broke up we hung out a few times and everything seemed good. like she would call me because she said she just wanted to hear my voice. then she went and hung out with her friends one night and it seemed like her feelings towards me changed dramatically. all of a sudden she decided i was suffocating her, so i gave her space. then after a week of not talking she contacted me, and we talked for a while. then she went ahead and told me that it wasn't just a break, and that she just wanted to be friends from here on out. so i told her that i didn't think that was possible, at least not at the moment, so i stopped talking to her, but stupidly remained friends with her on myspace and facebook and such. and i still have feelings for her so i was reading every bulletin she posted hoping to see something saying that she missed me, but they never came, all i ever read were things that pissed me off. like it would ask a question on a survey about "why your last relationship ended" and she would say that it just wasn't working anymore, which was total bull in my eyes. and then another one asked something about why she was single, and she wrote that she was tired of being constantly asked where she was and who she was with. and again i did not agree with that, because when we were together if i knew she was hanging out with freinds then i would leave her alone. then the bomb dropped, a survey she posted up basically spelled out that she had made out with a new guy. i was crushed, so i decided that i had to delete her. then after a few days she called asking if i could meet her so i could give her a dvd of hers, and i couldn't because i was busy. then a day after i contacted her to see if she was free to meet up because i was tired of being reminded of her by seeing that dvd. she was busy, but wanted to talk a little, so i kind of unloaded that i felt like she was intentionally being insensitive towards the feelings i still had towards her, she said that she didn't realize i would be reading her bulletins, and that she would never intentionally hurt me. i believe her, but it just feels weird. so i told her that i had to leave her deleted for a while, she called me immature for deleting her in the first place, but i knew i had to do it. i'm not contacting her anymore, so no worries about that, i still have to meet up with her to give her the dvd but it doesn't worry me. we have been broken up for a total of 2 months i think now. and on top of all this she didn't say happy birthday or anything yesterday (on my birthday) even though she told her mom it was my birthday, and her mom said happy birthday to me, and then told me that my ex(her daughter) just needed time and that she wishes that i was still around and that she wishes that her daughter could see that i am a great guy. Basically this all comes down to me being very frustrated, because i still have feelings for her and she has none for me, she said she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend now. so i just want to know what you guys think about this. i still have the feelings for her but i don't think i would get back together with her if the chance came up right now. i just want to move on, which has been really hard going, even though i know she has already moved on. its frustrating. any tips? or is this just something that time will just have to heal?
BW007 Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 She is done. Mail the DVD or give it to her mom, it is just a pretext and I think deep down you know it. From personal experience the best thing to do is go truly NC and don't facestalk her, cut the cord and defriend her, nothing good will result from it. Go be happier than her.
Broseph Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 but stupidly remained friends with her on myspace and facebook and such. and i still have feelings for her so i was reading every bulletin she posted hoping to see something saying that she missed me, but they never came, all i ever read were things that pissed me off. like it would ask a question on a survey about "why your last relationship ended" and she would say that it just wasn't working anymore, which was total bull in my eyes. and then another one asked something about why she was single, and she wrote that she was tired of being constantly asked where she was and who she was with. and again i did not agree with that, because when we were together if i knew she was hanging out with freinds then i would leave her alone. then the bomb dropped, a survey she posted up basically spelled out that she had made out with a new guy. i was crushed, so i decided that i had to delete her. This seems very immature and selfish that she would post this on Facebook or wherever she did it. I mean of course she probably knows that you or someone are gonna see it. This sucks because it is very personal stuff. I am kinda in the same boat as you though where I have been dumped and still have those romantic emotions. I try to convince myself that she is the one who lost out but in the end I still get these large doses of loneliness and I miss everything that we had. I think the fact the you would not get back together with her is showing that you are healing and moving on...I am at this stage and I think it is unhealthy to think that at some point we might get back together. For me I am really thinking about getting out there and trying to meet some new girls. This does seem like a hard task though because the kind of person that I am looking for is my ex ( i wonder if this is a sign that I am not ready)... but I remember my last big break up I had where I got cheated on and although I broke that off for the obvious reasons I fully didn't get over it until I started seeing someone new. This was around three months down the road and was totally random that I met her. I don't know what other think but after reading lots of stuff on these boards it seems like women move forward much quicker than men, this being when the relationship seems absolutely over. There seems to be so many guys talking about a month after their relationship ends they find out about the new guy. This has me thinking about it now which is gay, but in the end I shouldn't care. Anyways, yeah it will get easier both with time but you have to allow yourself to move forward. I hope it gets easier bud but sounds like your doing ok. As for her, she seems very childish to post relationship facts on facebook, this should be reason enough to at least not like the person she has become. People change, some for the better and some for the worse and this is a chance for you to change for the best. Dont dwell and take advanrage.
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