Is this Social Anxiety Disorder?

[Dooda]

Hey,

 

Right now I'm going crazy in my mind and I have this bad fear I can't get rid of. I was reading an article on AvPD, Avoidance personality disorder, and while all this time I thought I had social anxiety disorder, I thought perhaps I have this disorder. This scares the hell out of me, because if that's the case I can never be cured. For about the past 3 hours I have been reading and reading and the more I read the more I am convinced that I have it and not SAD. It's driving me crazy.

I heard that people with SAD sweat and have physical symptoms while people with AvPD don't. I have these physical symptoms. But, I've also read that some people have both and there's a 20-40% chance that people with SAD have AvPD. I really don't know.

 

The things is, I've been convinced (by my own self) in the past that I have other mental illnesses like schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. But what scares me the most is that AvPD relates to my state the most. I'm 18 and my symptoms of SAD are getting worse, not better. I keep thinknig about everything that happens and I can't ever have a relaxed and thought-free mind. I feel like what I have is more severe than SAD and that is exactly what AvPD is. And in any case, even if I do have SAD, I could still have AvPD.

I really don't know what to do. I'm going crazy. Perhaps its because I'm obsessing over it that I keep thinking that the way I act is more related to AvPD. Right now I'm feeling light headed and I can't think straight.

Any help please on how I can know if I do have AvPD? And if I do, can my problem ever be cured?

[Ronni_W]

Any help please on how I can know if I do have AvPD?

For ANY suspected mental disorder: an assessment by a properly trained, fully qualified psychiatrist. He or she will also be able to discuss possible treatment options with you, which could be some combination of prescription medication and 'talk therapy'.

 

There is a joke that ALL mental health students suffer from EVERY mental illness and emotional problem that they study. Generic lists of psychological symptoms are like that -- most everybody can relate (IMO, except for the truly psychotic...they feel sane all the time, and believe that everyone else is delusional/screwed up .)

 

If you are concerned for your own mental-emotional health, though, I'd suggest that you start with your family doctor and get a proper referral.

 

Best of luck.

[Dooda]

Ronni, thanks alot for the info and the help.

However, when asking on answers yahoo, someone linked me to this site: www.avoidantpersonality.com

I guess I could relate to the diagnostic symptoms when it was written a chart, because it is so easy to make myself believe I have something wrong even when I don't. I am almost a hypochondriac towards mental illnesses and my anxiety tops it all of. What scared me the most was how the symptoms related to me so well because I have SAD and I experience some of the avoidant behaviors of AvPD. I also have a fear of rejection and criticism.

However, I realise mine is not as extreme as those with AvPD.

I read the 3 testimonials the site had to offer and they did not relate to me nearly as much as the diagnosis I had come across.

It seemed that, because of such a deep and unbearable fear of rejection, AvPDs tend to avoid as many social situations as they possibly can. They are resistant to change, they will put on an outer bubble of being funny or smart, but on the inside they will have a ball of fear or rage.

Rather than trying their best to adapt in social situations, and sometimes making a fool of themselves or acting weird (as people with SAD often do and I do it one too many times), they will simply avoid the social world and think that the world is simply too cold and unfriendly to live with.

 

One other thing that removed my anxiety was the fact that most AvPDs are extremely unwilling to convey their problems and their feelings, even over the net because of the deep fear of criticism. It does not depend on the social setting, while for SADs it does. I am extrovert with good friends and over the internet where I am not confronted with people physically, but in new social settings and with people I'm not close to it gets alot worse.

 

However, I think the main thing is that people with SAD have a stronger willingness to participate in social settings. They tend to participate but do it badly because of their anxiety and racing thoughts and constant introspection. People with AvPD usually come to the conclusion at an early part in their life that opening themselves up to people is not the best choice and is almost impossible. They want to, but its like they simply can't because of a tramautizing event during their childhood or being simply 'born that way', which is one I heard way too many times.

 

Anyways, while I might have some AvPD traits, I don't think I'm AvPD and I'm just an overworrisome anxiety freak who seems to relate to every mental illness out there. I think it's a part of me saying there's got to be a reason for what I'm feeling, more than just simple anxiety. It can't just be me worrying, there must be some physical or psychological illness.

 

If anyone thinks they have AvPD and are not sure, please check out www.avoidantpersonality.com .

[Meaplus3]

I agree with Ronnie. You really should consult a lic trained therapist to give you a proper diagnosis. It's very easy to speculate when looking up symptoms. I do know that therapy can work like a charm in dealing with most anxeity related disorders. So, I suggest you talk with someone.. and see what they have to say. Your young, and have plenly of time to figure out how to cope with this. And never give up. There is hope. Positive thoughts go along way.

 

Mea:)

[RedDevil66]

read enough about any illness, and you'll have it.

The best way to know it to see a doc who can assess you

Simple anxiety disorder can play havoc on the mind and make you believe you're a parrot if you give in to the feelings.

 

Take a deep breathe, you are not going crazy. Fear just makes us think we are

[Dooda]

Mea and reddevil, thanks alot for your input. But, I just can't get this idea out of my mind again. Last night I was reassured I don't have it, but now I am reading on some forums about it and I'm not sure. There's this big, welling fear inside me. I feel really light headed from thinking about it.

 

I don't want to have this permanent problem but I'm really scared I do.

What scares me is that I just can't control the feelings I have of insecurity and rejection. I feel like they will always be with me and I will never get rid of them. I really can't tell... What if it's just me exagerating how I feel to make myself feel like I have it.

 

I don't want to go to a psychiatrist because I don't want to be labelled as 'psycho'. I want to get rid of these feelings and this feeling of contempt and constant worrying, but if I have AvPD then they won't go away.

And would a psychiatrist know how to make a good diagnosis anyways. What if he makes the wrong diagnosis because I didn't tell him everything I knew or I wasn't fully honest.

 

The thing is, I have times where I feel I can be social and have the ability to react, and at others I"m totally secluded, lost and can't interact. Do people with AvPD also have fluctuatoins like this? Or is it simply just an ongoing feeling of not wanting to deal with people?

My mind is going crazy.

[whichwayisup]

Google CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and find a therapist. You can't self diganose yourself!

 

So many people suffer from various ailments..Anxiety, depresion.. Don't be ashamed of it.. Talk about it with your closest friends and family..Get support.

 

You won't be labelled, it's you who's labelling yourself! MANY people seek counselling, have bouts of anxiety and/or depression in their lifetime.. It's better to be upfront and face this, do something about it so you can live a happier and healthier life.

[Dooda]

Lol, I am labeling myself. But I can't help but think what if, for once, I actually do have it. One thing I realised I have is that I daydream about how certain situations would go with certain people. Like with this girl I like, I think how we would act if we got to know each other a bit more. Or I think about social interactions with other people and my imagination goes far off. I know this is me avoiding reality, but isn't that apart of AvPD and not social phobia/GAD?

Is it possible to simply have some traits of AvPD and have the whole PD? Because, I mean, it's not ruining my life, so to say. I go to Uni, I go out and hang with friends at least 2/3 days a week, in my first week of Uni I have gotten to know a few new people, and one girl who I am interested in and who is also interested in me. I get along with her, but I am still being shy and not showing my true colours, even though I'm really interested in getting to know her. What scares me, though, is that sometimes I feel I can improve and I will be social, while at other times I feel totally inadequate and think as though, who the hell would want to hang out with me. I constantly think I don't have a personality, and I'm never showing enough of it. If I show too much of it though, I worry and go into myself and wonder if that was the real me.

 

What's so hard is knowing whether this could be SAD or AvPD because I've read so many forums and these feelings of inadequacy are present in both disorders.

What reassures me somewhat is that this problem has only occured in the past couple of years. Before that, I was never the 'guy left out', or the 'shy guy'. I was always 'shy at first', but after talking for a bit I would be outgoing. AvPD is supposed to be a destructive life style, starting from early childhood but only being noticed in early adulthood because that's when it gets severe.

Jeez, I'm arguing with myself. I'm going psycho. !!

 

[Meaplus3]

Mea and reddevil, thanks alot for your input. But, I just can't get this idea out of my mind again. Last night I was reassured I don't have it, but now I am reading on some forums about it and I'm not sure. There's this big, welling fear inside me. I feel really light headed from thinking about it.

 

Let me give you a little tip here. If you keep looking things up on the health forums out there you, will drive yourself nuts. You must trust me as I have been there. I have been through bouts of panic attacks and a whole set of odd symptoms and you know what it did for me? Got me thinking I had every disease and mental illness known to mankind. The more I goolged the worse I made myself feel! So.. stop it!

 

 

 

I don't want to go to a psychiatrist because I don't want to be labelled as 'psycho'. I want to get rid of these feelings and this feeling of contempt .

 

You should not be afraid. This kind of stuff is why people like therapists and psychiarist's exist. They are there to help you figure it out. You could always give it a shot and see how it goes. Best wishes.

 

Mea:)

[Dooda]

Mea, I go through the same thing. Before, I thought I had schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or even psychotic depression. But what scares me about this one is that it relates to me so well, and whether or not I'm focusing on it or not, most of the symptoms I do have. What reassures me, though, is knowing that a personality disorder is something that cause people to disfunction throughout their lifetime, which isn't the case with me.

I never had these self-concious problems like I do now, except maybe with girls, where I've always been a bit shy.

 

I think after looking so much on it and consuming 2 or 3 nights in thinking I may have this problem and spending 4 hours continously searching on AvPD, it just makes me more crazy and even makes me display symptoms which I never even had before, because I keep thinking them.

 

But, this morning, I came to a sort of self-revelation that perhaps I am just driving myself crazy. Everytime I think everything will be OK and I will get better, some stupid thought in my brain comes and tells me "You have this permanent problem, you'll never get out of it." Most of the time, I just sucumb to it and will fall apart, and THAT's what causes me to zone out.

I was having a good time with my friends today, something that hasen't happened in a while. When I left them, I had these constant feelings of doubt like: "How was I?" "Will I always be expected to be a fun person to be around (which I always was before I had this problem)?"

It's like some devils spewing these thoughts to make me feel bad while I'm trying to make myself feel good. Fear: false evidence appearing real. That's the best defintion of fear I've heard.

 

I think I have finally somewhat realised that there is no point in pondering over these pointless and irrational thoughts. Who cares if they expect something out of me? The more I think about the negative thoughts, the worse I become, and the negative thoughts actually become true. I AM not able to myself even with my friends because I keep thinking it. It's just all in my head and it's my concious mind that is giving in to my discoordinated subconcious mind that has been used to such anxious thoughts for so long.

 

I don't know, I think going to a psychiatrist will only make it worse, because it'll bring these emotions right back up and the anxious thoughts will keep rearing their head. If I put them in the back of my mind, and tell myself they are pointelss and don't mean anything, then eventually, I feel, I will get better by myself. I've been so preoccupied with the small things in life that I haven't been able to see the big picture.

Anyways, thank you all for your help and it has helped me to regain my 'normal' thought, or what is more normal than how I was thinking before.

[Meaplus3]

Mea, I go through the same thing. Before, I thought I had schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or even psychotic depression. But what scares me about this one is that it relates to me so well, and whether or not I'm focusing on it or not, most of the symptoms I do have.

 

 

 

I understand, as I have been there. But you are wasting your time trying to diagnos yourself. Please believe me here. If, I had spent more time seeking the right sort of therapy instead of googling, I would have been much further along with my panic disorder. So as I said STOP looking things up.

 

 

 

think I have finally somewhat realised that there is no point in pondering over these pointless and irrational thoughts. Who cares if they expect something out of me? The more I think about the negative thoughts, the worse I become, and the negative thoughts actually become true.

 

All you said right here is what will help you get better.. it's a perfect example of Cognative Behavioral Therapy.. and it works well for situations like yours. Now, I do give you full permisson to google this one. If you can change the way you think.. and keep it positive you will get there. Best of luck.

 

Mea:)