brock9911 Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 well dunno bout the rest of you, but here in N.Y. the weather is getting to be a bit brisk. its getting to the fall atmosphere. and this being my first upcoming fall/holiday season single in a loooong time. it just seems so weird and surreal to think that im going to be going through a holiday without my ex. i mean, this was our favorite weather and time of year. the pumpkin picking, halloween, thanks giving, christmas. they all ment a lot to us... and all i keep thinking is woe is me and who is she with. will she enjoy it...will i. it honestly is such a depressing feeling. with out the sunny, summer feeling, the single life is a much grimmer place to me. or at least for now. who knows. "The grass is dead, and the leaves are turning red. theres a crispness in the air thats all to familiar. A little sense of being down, as theres memories all around. And lately its been my feelings i tend to neglect. Why is it so damn hard to forget."
fabulous_chk Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I feel you. 8 years is a long time. So many memories. The trick is to create new ones. Not necessarily with a new relationship. Just realize that she is not the key to your happiness - you are! Take a deep breath whenever you feel lonely, and smile. Thank her for being part of your life. If you devoted your life to her for 8 years, she did the same thing to you. Thank her for the good times, then let it go. Let her go. Wish her well. Wish her happy. If you could do this, if you can laugh about the past, that's when you are fully healed.
broken_promises Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 I'm feeling similar to you right now (especially fixating on imagining who my ex is with, if they are doing fun fall things, etc.) My birthday is also in the fall, and that makes things difficult too to be without my ex. The two things that are helping me... remembering my relationship BEFORE this most recent one and how I got through these same types of feelings then too... and the other is trying to make as many memories as possible with my friends. Going hiking, to concerts, to Six Flags, to Halloween parties... hell, I'm even going skydiving in October! I feel like as lonely and depressed as I can get thinking about the ex doing new things without me, I need to make sure that doesn't stop me from living and doing new things myself.
Author brock9911 Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 true, yoru going sky diving? im looking to do that out on long island. and six flags is a must for fright fest. iv been keeping myself active and trying to do some traveling. unfortunately none of my friends make nearly the amount of money i do, so when i want to do something, im basically the only one who can. also doing all this stuff wazs always something me and my ex would do because we always had money to do stuff. now it seems everything im doing is half the fun cuz shes not around.....it sucks
Nedved Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I feel you. 8 years is a long time. So many memories. The trick is to create new ones. Not necessarily with a new relationship. Just realize that she is not the key to your happiness - you are! Take a deep breath whenever you feel lonely, and smile. Thank her for being part of your life. If you devoted your life to her for 8 years, she did the same thing to you. Thank her for the good times, then let it go. Let her go. Wish her well. Wish her happy. If you could do this, if you can laugh about the past, that's when you are fully healed. Great post and i could'nt agree more. its all about creating new memories this holidays and letting go of the old one's brock9911. I'm in the same situation myself as most people are. So many memories this time of year and Chistmas is what i'm dreading most but thats a few months away yet and hopefully it won't sting as much remembering her but what can we do? we gotta go through this as hard as it is! Its just a test of how strong we are and we'll get through it!!
jlr Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I hope one day I can get to that point that fabulous_chk talked about!
Author brock9911 Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 yeah, i guess breaking up b4 summer even started was a way to keep me busy. with all the nice weather. bars, boats, beaches. outdoor sports. i was constantly busy. but now that the weathers changing, its really starting to sink in. going home and now and not having that person there. also its kinda retarded but the fall and winter are the tv show times of year. we would have the ones we would watch all the time....and i know for a fact that while im watching them, she will be also. i know its a work in progress and i need time, but im very impatient. i like results right away, and unfortunately life doesnt always work that way.
logitech Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I'm in Australia but I am suffering from the reverse problem. I was busy with sports and what not through the winter season but now that is all over. Going to the beach is going to be an empty experience since there was one person I used to do that with. I think we all tend to link everything to it...
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