J3ss Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 A short time ago I broke up with my boyfriend who I was with for 1+ years and had been dating for a few months before that. Nothing horrible happened between us, but I just couldn't bear staying with him after all the emotional hurt that he put me through during our relationship. We've been no contact. I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me as expected. Now, thing is he owes me $1,000+ because I let him refer me for something, and even though he would be getting the money, we had agreed that he would give it to me. Do you guys think that I should ask whether he plans on giving it to me seeing as how I broke up with him? And if so, how long after the break-up should I wait?
Thaddeus Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 You can try, but unless you've got some sort of written contract about him giving you that money, I think you've got an extremely slim chance of getting it.
Author J3ss Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Yea, I know it's really up to him whether he wants to give it to me or not. I feel like telling him that he at least owes me that for putting up with his craziness and some of his personality traits, but that would be mean, lol. Any suggestions on how long I should wait before contacting him?
Thaddeus Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Any suggestions on how long I should wait before contacting him?Don't wait. Do it before the sun goes down today. (It may already be too late, but hey, it's worth a try.)
Author J3ss Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it. However, I thought about it more and I've decided not to contact him about the money. I would feel too bad, because I broke up with him. Someone told me today that if he has a big heart, I won't have to ask for it, so I'm gonna go with that. I won't hold my breath though. Any advice, on the things that I have of his? It hasn't been even a week so maybe he's not prepared to ask for anything back. But, he's the type that I wouldn't be surprised if he never contacted me for his things. They aren't very valuable things, but one item in particular I'm sure holds sentimental value to him. Should I wait a month or so and then throw it out (even though I really don't want to throw away that particular item) or should I contact him?
northstar1 Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it. However, I thought about it more and I've decided not to contact him about the money. I would feel too bad, because I broke up with him. Someone told me today that if he has a big heart, I won't have to ask for it, so I'm gonna go with that. I won't hold my breath though. Any advice, on the things that I have of his? It hasn't been even a week so maybe he's not prepared to ask for anything back. But, he's the type that I wouldn't be surprised if he never contacted me for his things. They aren't very valuable things, but one item in particular I'm sure holds sentimental value to him. Should I wait a month or so and then throw it out (even though I really don't want to throw away that particular item) or should I contact him? I think that's a good call on not contacting him for the referral money. Perhaps he will give it to you, or split it, but at this point it might really hurt him more if you contact him for it. I'd hang onto his stuff, box it up and give him a while to contact you for it. Unless it's medication or something urgent, he should be okay w/o it until he's in a good state to ask.
Author J3ss Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks... that's what I'll do.
Thaddeus Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I think that's a good call on not contacting him for the referral money. Perhaps he will give it to you, or split it, but at this point it might really hurt him more if you contact him for it.You know, when it comes to relationships I'm relatively easy-going. I can be plenty flexible when required. But when it comes to money, I'm as tough as nails. That's the beauty of a board such as this. It brings the experience of the group to bear, offering up different possible solutions to issues based on each person's background and individual history. I'd still go after the money, but that's just me. J3ss, do whatcha gotta do in the way that's most comfortable for you. Edit to add: Northstar1, I just noticed your signature. F*cking brilliant. Dawkins is a personal hero of mine. Love it!
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