Leeann Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I got married young at 18 , to a guy who cheated and broke up with me numrous times while we were dating, but I loved him, I still do. He got a job and moved out of state and a few weeks after I graduated he came and took me back and married me. I didn't ask for any of this. He loved me he wanted it. We got pregnant, and 2 days before I lost our son, I found out he was cheating. I let it go. I just had a little girl, a beautiful little girl, and he slept with another women, it was completely premeditated. He put thought into it. She didnt know about me, and he lied about himself, and I even asked him if I had anything to worry about because I had a feeling.. he told me no, that there wasnt anything. He slept with her. And now 3 weeks after I find out about another relationship he had online. At work I am a joke. He tells people that 'he has tried everything but the bitch won't leave'. When I confronted him about that he told me that he didnt say it, but I think he did. I really do. He really has tried everything. When I was going to leave before, he begged me to stay and now that I am planning on leaving in about a week, after his parents visit, he's saying he wants me to stay. How can he say that he wants me when he cheated a few weeks ago, it can't be possible that he loves me. I don't know what to do. I know I need to go home. What do I do about our relationship? I have seperation papers in hand, when do I give up? We were going to marriage counseling but after his affair, he is too coward to go with me. I feel like I have tried everything.
tojaz Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Leeann, May i ask how long you've been married? It does sound like you have tried very hard to stand for your marriage. He has been very disrespectful and hasn't shown any signs of changing. That lack of respect on his part tells me how he feels about the marriage right now. (I'm a guy by the way, don't let the flowers fool you). I would go ahead with the seperation. Give him and yourself some time to decide how you both would like to continue after being apart for awhile. I hate to see any relationship end, but without both partners invested, theres not much to save. He needs to prove that to you, if you are willing to look past his previous infidelity, that is a decision you need to make for yourself. TOJAZ
Author Leeann Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 We have been married for 2 and a half years but we have been together for almost 5. I don't know why he is being like this he had the whole world in his hands.
skywriter Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Leeann, I can feel how hurt you are from your post and I am wish I could give you a (((HUG))). I also get the feeling that you know in your heart that you need to take your baby and get out. You just need to hear it from others and I understand that, because I loved my ex-H, father of my two children the same as you love your babies father. It's not a question of loving him though. It's now a question of, the kind of role model you want for your daughter. Would you tell her it's ok for a man to treat her this way? Of course, not. It's your responsibility to love yourself if for no other reason, and I know it's sad that it takes responsiblity to pull you up by the pants straps, but whatever it takes. He'll either grow up and man up or he'll keep searching for something endlessly and unfortunantly it may cost him contracting something he cannot get rid of. By the way, you are not a joke!
skywriter Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 ....and Leeann, I would concern myself with the here and now. If you have seperation papers as you say and they cover the legalities of the here and now, this is enough on your plate for now. You can cross the other bridges in time. Give it some time and see what your H is will to do in the future. Then you'll have your answers. Who knows, you may find that life without all the drama is what makes you happy.. I wish you much happiness.
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