mr.dream merchant Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 So its been awhile since my ex and I split. I've been kicking it with a number of girls. Nothing serious, just hanging out, getting to know one another, laughs and conversations. Something that bothers me alot is that EVERY one of these girls I'm kicking it with assume I'm a player/heartbreaker. I ask them why and I get "Because you're attractive and you're very confident with a small touch of cocky." What can I do about that? I'm not out to dog these girls out. Am I multidating? Yeah. I'm single. I see what I like and I go for it. But every girl just writes me off as a player without even getting to know me. I don't run any kind of game on them. Just a simple "hi how are you? my name is____ its nice to meet you. blah blah do you have a man.." the basics. They give me their number but hold back because they're insecure of me being a player? I don't understand it. One straight up told me its because I'm attractive and she KNOWS that lots of girls are after me. Ironically, its quite the opposite. I can't even get close to them because of the issue I stated earlier, or because they're just too shy. One just assumed since I go out that I prolly only mess with "whores". Her words not mine. I know I shouldn't even want to kick it with a chick who's going to write me off on some prejudgemental bull**** but I think its lame as hell how they want this confident, secure, attractive guy and when they have one in their face they write him off as a player. I dealt with this problem with my ex to. She said when she met me she just assumed I was a player. That insecurity remained present our whole relationship. I was always being accused of cheating on her, and ugh...it was a constant struggle to prove to her that she was my one and only, and in the end - she left me for being insecure. Lol, how does that work? Females can get away with being insecure all day long but when a guy is a little bit insecure its curtains? Aaaaah what do I do? ? I'm confused. Ladies? Some insight. Thanks.
littlewhiterose Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Dear God, how hot/attractive are you?! Sounds like you have the traits of a 'lady-killer'. All joking aside, if you're coming off as confident and are very attractive, well, that can make for a lethal combination.
Hkizzle Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 That's a unique one. Real players won't even be spotted because they also show a ncie side that makes a girl more comfortable. If girls worry you're a player then I think you're being confident to the point of being cocky, so tone it down. Act a big goofy to counteract yourr confidence.
Jilly Bean Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Are you a native Boston boy? Because I am a Bostonian, and most of the guys are *wicked* hot and I sooo know your type. lol Women will (wrongly) call a guy a player when they feel insecure around him IF he genuinely is NOT a player. So, you being wicked hot, and a bit cocky (from the North End, perhaps? ), is enough to turn most sniveling insecure girls off. You pretty much already know the deal, as they've told you - you're too cute, too everything, so they assume you're out of their league and will dismiss you out of pocket ONLY because of their own hang-ups. What you need to do is stop dating the girls from the 781 and 978, stick with the 617, and you will find confident, sassy sexy girls. I know. I'm one.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Most just assume that if I got their number easily, I probably have lots of numbers and I'm smashing lots of girls. Lol its not even the case, I haven't been laid since August. And that was a strictly casual/friendly ****. And EVEN she said I look like a player, and she's my homegirl! Difference there is she's a really good friend so she always let's me know the deal. Her explanation was that some, if not most, girls are already a little bit insecure so when they have a really cute guy trying to get to know them they just assume he's a ladies man and write him off. =( that's so disappointing to hear really. And yeah Jilly Bean, I wish I was back home in the Bean. I'm down here in South Florida. All these beautiful women out here, and they're so insecure. I'm confused lol.
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