CSU Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I've been talking to a guy in the navy for about a month now. I know it'll be hard to keep communication and all but lately things been pretty off. When we first started to talk he would call or text me every night. Now I call him and we would talk for 15 minutes tops and he would say he would call me back but never does. I'm not the kind of girl to wait around for a phone call but you could at least have the decency to call me. That's just how I feel. When everything was going fine he told me that he would never hurt me but I feel like that's what he's doing to me. I don't know. I want to call him and tell him how I feel but I know me and the way I say things may come off as being a b*tch. I've tried writing down what I want to say but it still sound b*tchy. So I guess what I want to know is how should I approach him about this issue without sounding mean or selfish?
Island Girl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 He says he'll call and doesn't. So you call again. Then he says he'll call you back and doesn't. You call again. Stop calling. If it matters to him to talk to you - HE'LL call. One of two things are going on. 1. He is no longer interested but you keep calling so he just takes the chicken way out and says he'll call back but he isn't intending to. 2. He is interested but you are showing him you are a doormat and he doesn't have to follow what he says because you're still going to stick around. Either case dictates you need to NOT CALL. He will put in some effort if you are important to him. And you do not need to look any more desperate or needy so a discussion at this point is the wrong thing to do. If not, then he has been long gone for a while and calling or discussing this will not help. You say you are independent and do not sit around waiting for a guy to call you so quit acting like you are just that girl - because you are and it isn't attractive. Maintain your independence and if a guy says he'll do something then expect him to do it. If he doesn't do not step up and do it for him. There are exceptions to this rule but this isn't one of them.
EricaH329 Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Geez... what is up with these navy guys and them acting this way!? My ex is in the navy and he did the same exact thing to me! It must be something in the water, or even worse, something their taught! Either way, it ended between us because of that. I would tell him how you feel, and if he refuses to make a change (which my ex did) then let it go. It'll end up turning into resentment because you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship. I learned the hard way. Good luck!
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