NoIDidn't Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 "Karma" as defined in todays society is B.S. Right up there with "Closure". The truth is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You certainly knew what you were getting into, now you own it. You may be the nicest person in the world. Both your 1st and 2nd husbands may both be sociopathic jerks, even criminal. Maybe it's time to take a break from the maddness? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. We all need to make better, more informed decisions.
TaraMaiden Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 ....LSD...she had already seen clearly demonstrated that the man she was with would choose to cheat if the circumstances were there. Again, I don't call that "karma" as much as its simply a function of choosing to be with someone who you know chooses that as an option. Correct. it's not the action which is karma. It's the effect it has ON THE PERSON THEMSELVES - which is karma. We cannot create Karma for others. Let me say that again. We cannot create Karma for others. That is to say, our actions DO NOT AFFECT the karma, and its creation, of or for other people. we can only create it for ourselves as a result of what we think/say/do..... If my wife were to engage in ANOTHER emotional affair sometime in the future...it wouldn't be 'karma' for my actions or hers But she would be creating Karma for herself within that decision ...but it would clearly be a result of my choice to remain with someone who's demonstrated that capacity in the past. This is not strictly accurate. Her actions are entirely her decision, and the consequences of her actions are for her to deal with. Remaining with someone who has demonstrated that capacity in the past, is also not a creator of Karma. What would create your karma is how you evaluate and deal with the infidelity as it arises. It's a risk I have opted to take, based off my experiences and knowledge. It's a risk I've knowingly signed up for. Every thought, word and action - unchecked - is a 'risk' - with regard to Karma. Which is why it pays to pause......
Devil Inside Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Hmmm...as someone who is both WS and BS I find this all very interesting. Do I feel that my wife's infidelity was punished by my infidelity or vice versa. Do I feel like there is some mystic reason for this...nope. If my wife were to cheat on me again, or if I divorced and ended up with a cheater would that be because the universe was setting things right...nope. There are psychological reasons that people tend to find themselves in similar situations over and over. We tend to be attracted to certain situations and people and will find that unless we realize that we are stuck and that it makes no sense to keep trying to solve our problems with "solutions" that don't work...we will find ourselves in these situations over and over. Does this mean you are a bad person because bad things happen to you...I don't think so. Some people have been fortunate enough to not have had a traumatic background...and will not be stuck in patterns that can be dysfunctional. It just means that you need to work harder and gaining the inisght to see your patterns and then taking the proactive steps to change what has been ingrained into you. It is very possible...but is hard work and involves pain. I also sense, from your post, that in some ways you might feel that you deserve punishment for your actions. Unless you can forgive yourself...you might subject yourself to abusive and punishing situations...so be aware of that. Also remember...some people here are not too skilled at helping others...or do not really want to help, they just want to beat up people because they are projecting their insecurities. Others here are just straight shooters that do have an important prespective on things...but deliver it with the empathy and kindness of a colonoscopy. So in other words...take what people say here with a grain of salt. Good luck...I can tell you are beating yourself up for some of this current situation....stop...all you are responsible for now is what you are going to do about it all...remember be kind and love yourself through those actions.
Owl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Others here are just straight shooters that do have an important prespective on things...but deliver it with the empathy and kindness of a colonoscopy Hey, that's me!!!! :) :) And I'm ok with that...
Devil Inside Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Hey, that's me!!!! :) :) And I'm ok with that... You are a straight shooter...and sorry to burst your bubble but...you have a ton of empathy. I respect your opinions and especially the way you deliver it...Owl is a just screen name for you my brother.
Owl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 You are a straight shooter...and sorry to burst your bubble but...you have a ton of empathy. I respect your opinions and especially the way you deliver it...Owl is a just screen name for you my brother. Thanks DI, I appreciate your straight up honest responses as well. But I have to admit...you've burst my bubble. I kinda LIKED the colonoscopy comparison!
Devil Inside Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I kinda LIKED the colonoscopy comparison! Sounds like a topic for another forum...lol
2sure Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I used to think my cheating H was a manifestation of Karma getting me back for being an OW. But I was thinking about it too deeply. he is just an a**hole.
foreal Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 I used to think my cheating H was a manifestation of Karma getting me back for being an OW. But I was thinking about it too deeply. he is just an a**hole. :lmao: I friggin love you.
tami-chan Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 ....remember...some people here are not too skilled at helping others...or do not really want to help, they just want to beat up people because they are projecting their insecurities. no....really? Others here are just straight shooters that do have an important prespective on things...but deliver it with the empathy and kindness of a colonoscopy. So in other words...take what people say here with a grain of salt. LOL..colonoscopy..fortunately, a real colonoscopy is actually very tolerable as patients are given medication for pain and mild sedation via IV. But this is very funny, DI!!!! Good luck...I can tell you are beating yourself up for some of this current situation....stop...all you are responsible for now is what you are going to do about it all...remember be kind and love yourself through those actions. Ahh, I like this DI. Thank you. OP heed the above advice.
tami-chan Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 Karma, No Vengefull God, Yes. May I ask what GOD you believe in? I want to make sure I stay away from him/her.
TaraMaiden Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 You happen to be wrong. but you're entitled to your opinion. of course.
Susmay Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 You happen to be wrong. but you're entitled to your opinion. of course. I don't share your belief. As you say, I'm entitled to my own opinion and beliefs; just as you are. Therefore IMO you are quite wrong.
seibert253 Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 May I ask what GOD you believe in? I want to make sure I stay away from him/her. If you don't know then don't worry, you're already far from him.
Devil Inside Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 If you don't know then don't worry, you're already far from him. In that case I probably am too. I'm thankful for that.
tami-chan Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 If you don't know then don't worry, you're already far from him. That is, if your vengeful god actually exist...I say he/she does not.
TaraMaiden Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 I don't share your belief. As you say, I'm entitled to my own opinion and beliefs; just as you are. Therefore IMO you are quite wrong. Sez you... But I can prove it, you can't... :D
TaraMaiden Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 If you don't know then don't worry, you're already far from him. if he's what you say he is, 'far' can't be 'far' enough!
TaraMaiden Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 (. . .) We cannot escape the balls we put in motion and the internal constructs we blindly set in place defining ourselves to ourselves. That is... unless we think before we do. IMO Karma isn't about setting the record straight or evening out the scales of interconnected life. It is a natural extension of inner constructs that continue to materialize unless and until we 'deal' with ourselves by understanding how we got to where we are. Sumay.... the above pretty much describes what Karma is..... Don't know what Karma you don't believe in, but if you don't believe the above, then what do you think Karma is?
Susmay Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Sez you... But I can prove it, you can't... :D Whatever. Go ahead if it makes you feel better.
TaraMaiden Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 damn. And here I was, hoping for a good debate. Oh well.....*shrug*
Owl Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 What the heck...I'm always interested in a well thought out argument...I'll bite. How do you 'prove' karma?
Thaddeus Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 What the heck...I'm always interested in a well thought out argument...I'll bite. How do you 'prove' karma?I'm curious about that too. Where's the proof?
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