StillHopeful Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 My wife and I separated right at two years ago now and are starting to try to work through our issues. We have been together for 15 years and married for 6 w/two of those being separated. We also have a 3 year old son together. We had a great marraige but when we had our son we also built a large home. At that time things were fine finacially but very soon afterward the economy tanked and we had numerous financial strains as well as both being new parents. All of this took its toll on our marriage. We began to have huge arguments, etc. and I was ultimately asked to leave. I still want my marriage to work and am willing to do whatever it takes but she seems very distant and hesitant. I also know that she has been seeing someone else. With all of that being said, would anyone here try to persue marriage counseling? I am wondering if it will help or hurt to go through that process. I am at my whits end and am eager to put our differences aside and work on our marriage but at the same time need a resolution one way or another. I can't do another year of limbo. Any good suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
lupa Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Tell her you'd like to go to marriage counseling or you need to begin the divorce process. Don't make it a threat, state it as fact, as you cannot continue to live this way. If she has you on the line while seeing someone, she is what people here nicely refer to a cake-eater. Also, begin to work on yourself. There is a fantastic concept of the 180 in relationship (sheesh...I should really save that link), that is about finding you. Along the way, she might find you, too, but that isn't what it is about. Good luck. (can someone post that link?)
phineas Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 So, she's in this huge expensive house you built together & your in an apartment? and she is seeing someone else? Who is paying the mortgage & bills for this house?
Author StillHopeful Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 I paid the bills and the mortgage for over a year and lived off of side business money. At this point, the house is going to go into foreclosure due to not selling in 14 months. Not to mention it is worth nearly 100, 000.00 less than what I paid to build it.
beachbum84 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 IMO, MC is a good thing. I may not be qualified to give advice on the topic yet seeing as my H and I haven't been able to resolve our issues entirely yet. But we have been going for a few weeks now and it is helpful. It feels good to air things, and it has opened my eyes to some things I didn't see before. I look at like this. Either MC is going to help us repair / rebuild our marriage, or it is going to show us that our marriage is beyond repair and teach us a way to be cordial for the sake of our DD. Either scenario seems like a plus to me. B/c if it doesn't work, it'd be nice to have at least had your say. Plus if you try MC you can have peace of mind down the road that you really did try everything before giving up.
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