benji Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Finding it hard to get past this but broke up with my LDR a few months back and still in a lot pain. My LDR spent a ton of time making me very insecure and jealous, hence a lot of fighting. We say each other every 2 weeks, went on holiday, meet each others parents and then due to this/that couldn’t see each other for a month. In that month my LDR friends recommended she break up due to not being happy with the situation…however her job/living situation were also to blame aswell as cocaine come-down. As soon as she realized what she did, she came to see me to fix things up but her insecurity/games made things worse. She flew home, gave me all this crap about loving me and got me to book a flight. A few days later, she broke up again based on the fact she was not being nice to me and messing me about. 2 weeks after that, I was getting phone calls to say how ****ed up she was and she still loved me. 2 weeks again after that, I got a call to tell me she went on a date and this was to give me closure, but she still loved me. However also said the date was crap and all she did was think of me and nothing happened. I never once tried to contact her after the break up and don’t understand really what went on. I was willing to work threw her games and even try to move. I´m still heart broken and we´ve not spoken in 2 months. What now? Forget it right? She was very insecure and went threw my facebook, phone and photos. We dated for a year.
lillymountain Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 leave it. for your own sake. even i f she still has a lot of feelins for you this doesn't sound l ike it's going to work out. i don't know how much she is into cocaine and if you take it as well, but: i once was with a guy who was pretty much addicted to cocaine and later crystal. (if you take cocaine once a year, well i wouldn 't do it, but i wouldn't blame you either...but feeling the need for it regularly is a different thing..) and i went through hell trying to help him out and giving him not only a 2nd, but 3rd and 4th,... chance. until i realized, that he would have to be fighting as well - but all he did was acting very similar to what you described. keep your head above water and look ahead!! good luck!!
Author benji Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 leave it. for your own sake. even i f she still has a lot of feelins for you this doesn't sound l ike it's going to work out. i don't know how much she is into cocaine and if you take it as well, but: i once was with a guy who was pretty much addicted to cocaine and later crystal. (if you take cocaine once a year, well i wouldn 't do it, but i wouldn't blame you either...but feeling the need for it regularly is a different thing..) and i went through hell trying to help him out and giving him not only a 2nd, but 3rd and 4th,... chance. until i realized, that he would have to be fighting as well - but all he did was acting very similar to what you described. keep your head above water and look ahead!! good luck!! Thanks for the reply. I was told it was occasional use, but even occasional was bad as her family had a history of mental illness. I´d never touch the stuff. Doing my best to push past, but not easy.
Confused728 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 you should read my post about drugs and relationships, tell me what u think of my situation Break Up Over Drugs or Trust? - LoveShack.org Community Forums
AnnPod Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 What I see is that you are all about her and how she feels, but just think about yourself: this is making you feel bad, and this is for sure not healthy for you. She might have her issues, but you can not be in the position to help her to fix her life. She might have feelings or just be scared to let go. But you, you can not rely on that, and you can not rely on her. So yes, I agree with lillymountain: move on - for your own sake. Easy to say, hard to do, especially when she contacts you occasionally. In the first place you have to be willing to let it go. Do you have reasons for staying with someone that instable? And again, you will not be able to fix her, no matter how much you want that.
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