Paragon Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 So if they are purposely going to press your buttons, you might as well give them a show. They might regret it but they should have thought twice before they pushed the buttons in the first place. As long as you recognize you are purposely making a bad situation worse, there's nothing else for me to say. It is perverse. There is perverse pleasure in purposely pressings someone's buttons. What part is hard for you to understand? I am confused as to why you're asking me what part is hard to understand, when I never said--hey, I don't understand. If you would REALLY like me to bring up something I don't understand, it's the fact that the word PERVERSE is even being used here; it's original meaning doesn't really fit. Anyway, the fact that purposely pressing someone's buttons is "perverse" is the part I disagree with. Read previous posts to see why, then disagree. Or you can keep it to yourself--it's up to you.
sweetjasmine Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 As long as you recognize you are purposely making a bad situation worse, there's nothing else for me to say. Sure, it's making a bad situation worse. At the same time, if someone punches me in the face, I'm going to f-ing punch them back. It may make the situation worse, but I'd rather do that than put up with abuse or not defend myself. Now that's different from someone making an insensitive remark without really intending to make you explode. I'm usually the one defusing situations when people get mad, but if someone deliberately crosses the line to piss me off...
Trialbyfire Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Sure, it's making a bad situation worse. At the same time, if someone punches me in the face, I'm going to f-ing punch them back. It may make the situation worse, but I'd rather do that than put up with abuse or not defend myself. Now that's different from someone making an insensitive remark without really intending to make you explode. I'm usually the one defusing situations when people get mad, but if someone deliberately crosses the line to piss me off...And not only punch them in the face, make certain they never get up! I guess everyone has limits to teasing. I grew up in a family of teasers but we also had limits of tasteful or not. There's a fine line between abuse and teasing.
alphamale Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 What kind of men actually enjoys a woman being angry at him? i sort of like it at times. its exciting and you never know what'll happen. there are also a lot of power plays that happen. its fun to try to predict what she'll do and when she'll do it and what the outcome will be. oh yes and the make up sex - i don't need to tell you about that
Author Jersey Shortie Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 Sure, it's making a bad situation worse. At the same time, if someone punches me in the face, I'm going to f-ing punch them back. It may make the situation worse, but I'd rather do that than put up with abuse or not defend myself. Now that's different from someone making an insensitive remark without really intending to make you explode. I'm usually the one defusing situations when people get mad, but if someone deliberately crosses the line to piss me off... Exactly. SweetJasmine has it right on.
Jaytb Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 if you don't like men who rile you up, then date sweet sensitive men who would never assert anything over you and kneel to your every emotion and whim. Don't go after big bad biker guys
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 if you don't like men who rile you up, then date sweet sensitive men who would never assert anything over you and kneel to your every emotion and whim. Don't go after big bad biker guys Jay, there's a degree difference between teasing and deliberately trying to upset someone. For example, there are a number of LS members who basically call me a liar about my life. That's not jacking with someone, that's abusive behaviour, in that they're outright lying and attempting a smear campaign. Now if someone were to poke fun at me being short, that's okay, unless it happens over and over again. Then it gets annoying. Hope that helps to define the difference.
Jaytb Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Jay, there's a degree difference between teasing and deliberately trying to upset someone. For example, there are a number of LS members who basically call me a liar about my life. That's not jacking with someone, that's abusive behaviour, in that they're outright lying and attempting a smear campaign. Actually that's what's properly referred to as "internet tough guy syndrome", or ITGS. Or standard-fare internet trolling. You should try it
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Actually that's what's properly referred to as "internet tough guy syndrome", or ITGS. Or standard-fare internet trolling. You should try it Notice I haven't allowed that type of behaviour to stop me from posting? If anything I plan to increase my posting volume, each time it happens, until I'm up and around 100 posts/day, talking about my life in each and every post. Anyways, there's perverseness in attempting to jack with people and then, there's a bit of harmless teasing. There are levels of acceptability of how far to take teasing. At least in real life, nothing teaches anyone the level of acceptability, better than a punch in the face, as defined by sweetjasmine!
Jaytb Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Notice I haven't allowed that type of behaviour to stop me from posting? If anything I plan to increase my posting volume, each time it happens, until I'm up and around 100 posts/day, talking about my life in each and every post. Anyways, there's perverseness in attempting to jack with people and then, there's a bit of harmless teasing. There are levels of acceptability of how far to take teasing. At least in real life, nothing teaches anyone the level of acceptability, better than a punch in the face, as defined by sweetjasmine! hey it just goes to show how much people love to push the limits. Why climb Mount Everest? Why not? Why troll TBF? Why not? same for this "perverse pleasure". I for one don't want to test the limits out in my relationship. Teasing is good, but abuse? not for me. I'd rather do something constructive than destructive
Jaytb Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 and remember, life is like an Xbox game; you've got to push the limit: http://achievementaddict.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/achievement-unlocked-become-president-barack-obama.jpg http://fc07.deviantart.com/fs38/f/2008/350/4/9/Achievement_Unlocked_by_Jedigeek93.png http://www.splitreason.com/productdetail.php?id=457# http://www.falle.us/images/achievement_unlocked.jpg http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/1968/deletemenot34hf4.jpg http://jakebillo.com/wp-content/images/achievement_laurier.jpg http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3335/3534031338_0c5b1a56c5.jpg sometimes, it doesn't go according to plan though: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KCQ2h6p7dek/So381hIpEzI/AAAAAAAAAPM/RvBzJ6tyKE4/s400/achievement_unlocked11.jpg
Paragon Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Exactly. SweetJasmine has it right on. You two are creating a false dichotomy. Either punch him in the face or do NOTHING at all. You're kidding right? There's PLENTY of other options, just like in your example Jersey where your man "picked your scab"--that's not a two option scenario where the BEST option is making it worse...All it takes is creative thinking and ability to keep centered.
sweetjasmine Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 if you don't like men who rile you up, then date sweet sensitive men who would never assert anything over you and kneel to your every emotion and whim. Don't go after big bad biker guys But I'm sure big bad biker guys are really sweet and sensitive if you get through the tough part. There are levels of acceptability of how far to take teasing. At least in real life, nothing teaches anyone the level of acceptability, better than a punch in the face, as defined by sweetjasmine! The funny part is I've never had to punch someone in the face (fights? yes, but not face-punching), and if it got to that point, my SO would probably jump in and do it for me.
sweetjasmine Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 You two are creating a false dichotomy. Either punch him in the face or do NOTHING at all. To clarify, I was making an analogy. If someone's verbally abusive to me, I'll be verbally abusive back and then get myself out of the situation. I don't care that I'm making it worse. Dealing with verbal and emotional abuse by keeping silent or trying to placate the abuser doesn't ever make it stop or go away. The only way to get out of it is to make it clear that you won't put up with that kind of sh-t.
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 To clarify, I was making an analogy. If someone's verbally abusive to me, I'll be verbally abusive back and then get myself out of the situation. I don't care that I'm making it worse. Dealing with verbal and emotional abuse by keeping silent or trying to placate the abuser doesn't ever make it stop or go away. The only way to get out of it is to make it clear that you won't put up with that kind of sh-t.I got the analogy, especially since I've never punched anyone in the face before! Although there have been times where my kick-boxing would have come in really, really handy, to perverse people and others, I can't stand, for all kinds of reasons. The ex-OW comes to mind. I could have hurt her bad! The more I think about this issue, the more I agree that it's a power play, control issue. Reliant on how far the perverse person is willing to go, it smacks of mental illness.
Paragon Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 To clarify, I was making an analogy. If someone's verbally abusive to me, I'll be verbally abusive back and then get myself out of the situation. I don't care that I'm making it worse. Dealing with verbal and emotional abuse by keeping silent or trying to placate the abuser doesn't ever make it stop or go away. The only way to get out of it is to make it clear that you won't put up with that kind of sh-t. First bold statement: that's your prerogative, and I respect that. Second bold statement: Correct, BUT being verbally abusive back isn't the ONLY way to get out of the situation. In fact, there are plenty of other ways which do NOT include keeping silent OR placating the abuser to make it clear you won't put up with that kind of behavior. Like I said, it takes knowing how to elicit the right kind of response from someone while keeping centered. It's being intelligently creative, so to speak.
Paragon Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 The more I think about this issue, the more I agree that it's a power play, control issue. Reliant on how far the perverse person is willing to go, it smacks of mental illness. You're kidding, right? It amazes me how easily people throw around terms like that. What you're describing is ONE specific motive behind a situation like this, providing your not inclusively talking about mentally abusing someone.
sweetjasmine Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Second bold statement: Correct, BUT being verbally abusive back isn't the ONLY way to get out of the situation. In fact, there are plenty of other ways which do NOT include keeping silent OR placating the abuser to make it clear you won't put up with that kind of behavior. Like I said, it takes knowing how to elicit the right kind of response from someone while keeping centered. It's being intelligently creative, so to speak. Oh, I know that. I agree. There are other ways to get out of the situation. I just mean if someone really has pissed me off by being intentionally verbally abusive to get a rise out of me, I'll gladly oblige by getting angry and then getting out of it.
Die Hard Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 You're kidding, right? It amazes me how easily people throw around terms like that. What you're describing is ONE specific motive behind a situation like this, providing your not inclusively talking about mentally abusing someone. Hey this is LS, it's only natural that a thread about why men tease women would turn into a discussion about abuse and mental illness. Women love drama and this thread is no different.
Die Hard Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 There's a fine line between abuse and teasing. Um, no, there's not. If a person tends to be dramatic, then I could understand the comment. I wouldn't agree, but I would understand.
sweetjasmine Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Women love drama. That's why there are a few guys in this thread who say they like to make women angry on purpose because they enjoy getting that reaction.
Die Hard Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Women love drama. That's why there are a few guys in this thread who say they like to make women angry on purpose because they enjoy getting that reaction. Yes. It can be entertaining to trigger this response under controlled conditions. Look, if you REALLY believe that men in general like to irritate women any more than anyone else in this world then you have an issue. I personally consider myself an equal opportunity irritator. Women are simply soft targets.
sweetjasmine Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Yes. It can be entertaining to trigger this response under controlled conditions. It can be. But I think it's disrespectful to treat someone you love like a hamster in an experiment. Look, if you REALLY believe that men in general like to irritate women any more than anyone else in this world then you have an issue. I don't think that and I never said anything close to that.
Paragon Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 It can be. But I think it's disrespectful to treat someone you love like a hamster in an experiment. I'm PRETTY SURE it's obvious he didn't mean entertaining in the way that you think tinkering with a hamster in an experiment would be entertaining....
Die Hard Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I'm PRETTY SURE it's obvious he didn't mean entertaining in the way that you think tinkering with a hamster in an experiment would be entertaining.... Correct. I do not equate good natured teasing to torturing an animal in a cage. That would be quite the melodramatic stance, imo. An example of teasing: when my GF asks why I haven't shaved today, I tell her its because I'm growing a beard. That is sure to send her blood pressure up. I will concede however that if she turns to me and says do not **** with me right now that I will re-thing what I'm doing/saying. But then that goes to my larger point that there is not a fine line between teasing and abuse. It's a huge, bright red line and anyone with any sense knows when it's being crossed.
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