Jersey Shortie Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 This was something said in another thread and I thought it would make a good topic because I have experienced it in my own relationships but don't understand why some guys like to do it. GorillaTheater said: Me, I love women. Not to say I don't take a perverse pleasure in pissing them off or anything. Then Star Gazer said: :lmao:My BF would say the very same thing. He beats his chest and acts like a caveman on occasion (particularly when watching football), and enjoys getting under my very girly skin with such things. I have been in relationships where the guy did like poking at my hot buttons. But why do you guys take perverse pleasure in doing this? Is it a control thing? Is it to purposely work your partner up? It confuses me. I know not all guys like doing it but some guys do. Are you a guy that agrees with Gorilla?
New Again Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 The only guy I know who definitely is like this is my brother...but, you know, that's what little brothers do? Unless you count tickling...I'm not sure if that's the same kind of thing? I hate being tickled (don't most people?), and my bf (all of them ever) hate being tickled - will get mad at me if I do it a tiny little bit...yet they all tickle the crap out of me?? God it's annoying. Maybe they think they're being cute or something.
bayouboi Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I like to rile my women up because it gets their emotions going. And surely you can admit that as a woman, you love it when your emotions get going.
2sure Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Guys doing guy things that girls dont get. Women doing girl things that guys dont understand. Both can irritate a bit and be amusing at the same time. Its flirting, part of the dance. The result is...maybe an eye roll. Button Pushing to me...is being contradictory for the sake of starting an argument...just because you can. Thats assinine.
deux ex machina Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Attention. They do it for attention. Lol I know that is why. Well, it's my theory. I'll have to await the gentlemen's responses... I have also been told, "You're so cute when you're mad." One thing I noticed? They usually do it when a woman is busy/distracted. If it gets annoying, remain calm - part of my theory is that they not only do it for attention, but also to test you in the beginning of a relationship. They want to see if you can roll with it.
boogieboy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Part of it is having fun, and part of it is exercising womens emotions. Many women love to get mad, then love it when you make it all better, over silly things. Its very subjective, you have to test the waters, and how to take it. I never go nuts with it. It ranges from a lil thing like calling her a dork, to one nice random smack on the ass....then I make it all better afterwards, and she smiles.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 I like to rile my women up because it gets their emotions going. And surely you can admit that as a woman, you love it when your emotions get going. I do. But I like my positive emotions riled up. Not my negative ones. Part of it is having fun, and part of it is exercising womens emotions. Many women love to get mad, then love it when you make it all better, over silly things. Its very subjective, you have to test the waters, and how to take it. I never go nuts with it. It ranges from a lil thing like calling her a dork, to one nice random smack on the ass....then I make it all better afterwards, and she smiles. See, this kind of stuff pisses me off. Women don't love to get mad. And if a guy purposely makes me mad to rile me up, I don't ever forget the subject he brought up to do it. He might think he is being cute but it just ends up sitting inside me as another thing that wasn't a positive experience. I will forgive him for sure, but that feeling of that moment and memory will remain the same. And women tend to focus alot on when their partner does something wrong probably more then when he does something right. This is a dangerous game to play.
Island Girl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 An ex of mine would love to do this. We'd get into discussions and he would purposefully take a polarized position and stick to it with really no reason it would frustrate me to no end. He always said it was so cute to see me get my feathers ruffled and we'd have a great "all better" moment after, sometimes great sex because of it, but truly I HATED it. It was part of the reason why I started checking out of the relationship and dumped him.
tanbark813 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Count me in as another guy who likes to do that. Women are naturally more sensitive so it's very easy to do. It's juvenile but resisting it is along the same lines as resisting the urge to poke a visible bruise. But to be fair, guys do it to other guys as well. If you know your friend is sensitive about something you're going to f**k with him about it. I think there might be some primitive psychological thing there about wanting to toughen up the other members of your "pack", but I digress.
bayouboi Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 And women tend to focus alot on when their partner does something wrong probably more then when he does something right. This is a dangerous game to play. I will concede your point that your sex is responsible for holding grudges far worse than ours, but that's not gonna make me walk on eggshells.
freestyle Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 It seems no different than the little boy putting the frog down the back of the little girl's dress................it's fun to see her jump. Some guys never outgrow it.
AAlike Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I think that most relationships have at least a little one-upsmanship, just like any collaborative or team activity. not enough to upset the greater good, but it's still there. Although I think Gorilla's original quote was meant in jest, it is definitely true that men often exploit women's emotional susceptibility as a manifestation of this one-upsmanship. On the flip side, I see a lot of women take advantage of men's higher susceptibility to jealousy and possessiveness. there are only examples, there are many other ways in which this one-upsmanship plays itself out. I think that it's harmless as long as it goes both ways and is not taken to an extreme.
AlektraClementine Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 It's kind of interesting that men would take sport in riling up a woman's emotional side. Isn't it one of your biggest complaints that we're too emotional? I've gotten the "you're cute when you're mad" thing. And when I'm busy concentrating, it's sometimes like my dude can't stand it and pushes my buttons just to get the attention.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Guys doing guy things that girls dont get. Women doing girl things that guys dont understand. Both can irritate a bit and be amusing at the same time. Its flirting, part of the dance. The result is...maybe an eye roll. Yeah, to be clear, BF never "pushes my buttons." It's always in good fun - even the eyeroll. I really enjoy the beautiful differences between the sexes.
alphamale Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Is it a control thing? Is it to purposely work your partner up? basically? yes its funny when women get all pissed off, they get all irrational and funky
Kamille Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Many women love to get mad I for one am not one of those women who loves to get mad. To me there are degrees. I had an experience very much like Island Girl, where my ex would get in a discussion with me and then do everything in his power to belittle me. He reduced me to tears many times. I seriously did not love that. So glad that relationship is over. I understand and I like teasing, when the teasing is mutual. I despise it when somebody purposefully tries to get me riled up and I really don't understand why guys do it. None of the reasons stated here make sense to me. Okay, we know women react when you push their buttons. Almost everyone I know, regardless of gender, reacts when someone purposefully pushes their buttons. Maybe some women like it. I don't.
sumdude Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I have been in relationships where the guy did like poking at my hot buttons. But why do you guys take perverse pleasure in doing this? Is it a control thing? Is it to purposely work your partner up? It confuses me. I know not all guys like doing it but some guys do. Are you a guy that agrees with Gorilla? I really think it depends on the degree and intent. A little playful razzing is one thing and flirtatious. To purposefully push buttons that you know are upsetting is another and not right.
bluewolf17 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Pretty sure guys to it so they get some angry sex.
alphamale Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 its funny when female feathers get all ruffled
Paragon Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I have been in relationships where the guy did like poking at my hot buttons. But why do you guys take perverse pleasure in doing this? Is it a control thing? Is it to purposely work your partner up? It confuses me. I know not all guys like doing it but some guys do. Are you a guy that agrees with Gorilla? Women love feeling emotion--negative or positive. You're the one labeling it PERVERSE. Emotion is emotion, and society labels it positive and negative. Pushing buttons is a way to get women to experience emotion, and usually if the two are mature enough to look past the surface content, it's simply a way to spike the sexual tension so you can have sex If this button pushing behavior happens more often than not, than it might have other motives SPECIFIC to that person. See, this kind of stuff pisses me off. Women don't love to get mad. And if a guy purposely makes me mad to rile me up, I don't ever forget the subject he brought up to do it. He might think he is being cute but it just ends up sitting inside me as another thing that wasn't a positive experience. I will forgive him for sure, but that feeling of that moment and memory will remain the same. And women tend to focus alot on when their partner does something wrong probably more then when he does something right. This is a dangerous game to play. ^^You just described yourself--not all women are like that. First bold statement: that behavior comes from insecurity. Second bold statement--this is not true by any stretch of the imagination. It's only true of women with negative personalities.
sweetjasmine Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I've gotten the "you're cute when you're mad" thing. I HATE that sh-t. My kind-of-angry stage is a little "cute" I guess, but if someone pushes my buttons on purpose to see it, I get really angry, and there's nothing "cute" about that, especially since when I get to that point, I start pushing buttons myself. People who do that kind of thing are incredibly obnoxious. My SO doesn't do it, but my brothers love to do it all the time. My SO sometimes teases me a little, but in a playful way that's not meant to piss me off or hurt my feelings.
sweetjasmine Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Women love feeling emotion--negative or positive. This is pretty ridiculous. Normal people don't love feeling negative emotions. Normal people don't love it when their SO deliberately makes them feel negative emotions. and usually if the two are mature enough to look past the surface content, There's nothing "mature" about deliberately making someone angry because you think it's funny.
alphamale Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 my estimate thru experience is that the female should be pissed of or in a bad mood roughly 10-15% of the time while in a relationship. otherwise they get bored and too comfortable and tend to stray or leave. this is just an estimate of course, for some women it may be just 5% of the time and for some 25%
Kamille Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Women love feeling emotion--negative or positive. You're the one labeling it PERVERSE. Emotion is emotion, and society labels it positive and negative. Pushing buttons is a way to get women to experience emotion, and usually if the two are mature enough to look past the surface content, it's simply a way to spike the sexual tension so you can have sex If this button pushing behavior happens more often than not, than it might have other motives SPECIFIC to that person. :lmao: Seriously, you guys need to start citing real research instead of PUA websites before you tell me I love feeling negative emotions. Hmmm. No, no I don't love feeling negative emotions. And no, when my ex pushed my buttons, we didn't have sex. I would go home to calm down because, oh wait, I don't love feeling upset. It doesn't turn me on. Not speaking for all women, just this one. And I tend to be a very drama-free, fun-loving partner. In the case of my ex, he's the one who thrived on drama and therefore felt the need to provoke emotions. That way he could feel oh-so-masculine because he was oh-so-in-control, even as he was the one who was doing everything in his power to make me lose control. I gave him a taste of his own medecine once. He lost it. Told me it showed I had not respect for him. My bottom line is this: I treat my partner the same way I would want to be treated. And I treat my partners according to my own human experience, not some pseudo-theory about "women being the emotional" gender. Bullcrap on that one.
Kamille Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 There's nothing "mature" about deliberately making someone angry because you think it's funny. ... or because that's the only way you've found, so far, to get someone in bed or keep a relationship going.
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