johnny404 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hi all, first time here, I was browsing many sites but LoveShack caught my eye! So here's my story: I had an acquaintance (now, friend) that I got to know through schoolwork a year back. Didn't think much about it then. Around half a year ago she decided to get back in touch through email. That was strange, since we weren't close (the hi-bye sort). I realised that I was starting to notice her a lot often in places where I hang out in school. That was weird as well, since she doesn't have many reasons to be in those places! So we kept on this cycle of how-are-yous every three or four weeks.. broken by the summer break, which I spent abroad working on my thesis. I asked her out when I came back, and she agreed. Don't know if it went alright, a lot of small talk/awkwardness, nothing intimate. I proposed dinner in a few weeks (we are both busy) and again, she agreed! I like her, and ready to tell her that, but then she might not be interested, and I'm not ready to risk losing her as a friend. I really wonder if she was just being nice by not rejecting my invitations. I guess these are my options: - Keep things slow and steady, so both of us can get to know each other better. The time will come - Risk it all and tell her at the next date - Give it up, she's not interested (her body language - she doesn't look too relaxed when I'm with her) Please, any suggestions/advice for a newbie? And for the girls - if you were her, are the hints that I'm dropping strong enough? How would you respond if you don't want to go any further? Thank you all for reading this long post! John
boogieboy Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Keep things slow and steady, for god sakes, dont drop the like bomb on her, youre going out with her, she already knows you like her.
always_searching Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hi, John-- I agree with boggieboy: I would not just drop it on her at this point. I mean, you've caught some aspect of her interest, else she wouldn't agree to go on these dates with you. I do think you should move past small-talk though. Maybe bring up more intimate discussion--talk about her family, what he life goals are, desires/hopes/dreams, etc. I'd be willing to bet that the awkwardness and unrelaxed behavior that you are perceiving is really just her being nervous on your first date. I know when I like someone, I can get awkward--lol, really awkward. Why, just today, I spent some time around a guy that I currently like and I think I apologized around ten times for practically nothing--about 6 of those times occured AFTER he told me not to apologize. Luckily the rest of the conversation was better, but still... Anyway, good luck! Let us know how the date goes.
Author johnny404 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 boogieboy, always_searching, thanks for the advice I'm going slow then, probably not going to benefit much (or at all) from dropping the bomb so early. Not that i'm impatient; just that I'm concerned with what she thinks of all of this, which drives me crazy sometimes I'm just not so good at picking up signals. John
Rebellious Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I can smell an aroused woman from clear across the room, so I don't see how you can miss her signals completely. Can you read women's body language in general?
Author johnny404 Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 I am like a black-and-white TV set - I can see the picture but not the colour. Hope that made sense! All of you are a lot better than me at this. I am not really experienced at reading body language.
Marks Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I am not really experienced at reading body language. ^^ Me neither. I can't really tell the difference between a girl talking to me because she's just being nice and friendly or because she wants me to ask her out or something of that nature.
BCCA Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 ^^ Me neither. I can't really tell the difference between a girl talking to me because she's just being nice and friendly or because she wants me to ask her out or something of that nature. A couple easy ones are if she touches her hair, or if her feet are pointed toward you, shes at least engaged. The problem with women is that they can be totally into talking with you, and have no romantic interest for you, which is a concept foriegn to us men lol Ive found the easiest way to tell is if the conversation flows, or if youre getting one word answers, and the woman is looking around. Generally, when women like you, they make your life easy, including when you ask them out.
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