GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I don't understand things are good then they fall apart in 3 months. Things were good not great but good She went on meds for mild depression (she was working 3 night sift for a year messing up her sleep) and things got really good between us. Then a month later she is out of control and making me feel like h#ll. Next thing I know she hooking up with different people and making me doubt myself for thinking so. Now its over, I gone NC and still cant make sense of it or let it go. I see it as she has gone manic or the person I though I knew was just an illusion. I want to blame the meds so it makes her less at fault but then it keeps me hanging on for her to get well. And the fact is its over. If it was just an illusion then I am an idiot and what the hell is wrong with me? No win either way just fricken pain She the first women I really let in my life in a long time and I pick her. Damn I must be messed up...this is the type of person I choose to love. F#ck 1
Arabella Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I'm right there with you, asking myself the same thing. I met the guy whom I thought I was going to be spending the rest of my life with. It was an incredible connection neither of us experienced before. Problem? I didn't know about all his mental issues. ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and OCD. We were friends for quite some time and he hid it all from me. Then we fell for each other and as we were in the beginning stages of our love affair, basking in the glory of having found one another, he sunk into depression. Over three weeks, he did a complete 180. Didn't want to talk anymore, wouldn't text, couldn't commit to doing anything with me and actually stick with it, etc. All while he claimed that he loved me more than anything in the world. So obviously I questioned him about his behavior and explained how he was hurting me. I nearly called it off several times and that's how I found out about his issues - he would only tell me when he realized I was really done and I wasn't going to stick around without a very good reason. Then we met in person (it was a LD relationship at first) and we were very into each other. He was happy for the first couple of days - then it was back to the same even while I was visiting his city. He realized he couldn't handle a relationship and we agreed to take a break but remain committed. I got back and he cut contact for days at a time without notice. I was dead worried about him. That was three weeks ago and things only got worse from there. Yesterday he finally told me not to wait because he's clearly not getting any better. If anything, it's worse. He still claims to love me and the worst of it is that I know he means it. Morale of the story... sometimes people simply can't help their own behavior, no matter how much they may want to. The meds will help on the long run - no doubt about that... but meanwhile, you're in for a world of pain. There will be ups, and there will be downs, and every step of the way, it's going to hurt like hell. My advice? Go NC for now, get over her, and check back once in a while to see how she's doing if you truly care about her and you can stand having contact with her without hurting yourself. But whatever you do, don't put yourself through the pain of waiting for someone to pull themselves together. It may, or may not happen, and meanwhile, you're hurting and that serves no purpose to either of you. Time is the only thing you give that you can't ever get back. Don't waste it. Arabella
Author GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 I am likyely lloking for a easier excuse for the fact she wasn't the person I made her out to be... Again what heck does that say about me? (besides I can't fall asleep tonight)
adamt Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I thought i was going to settle down with my ex of 3 years. She split up with me she said we had little in common and wasnt attracted to me.etc. You think you really know someone but turns out you don't. Just concentrate on yourself and try to move on.
Author GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 My advice? Go NC for now, Arabella All ready there been there for 2 months
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