wierdmunky Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 The story is she is mad at me and needs space bc I went to lunch with one of her guy friends. She has been on vacation after vacay for almost the entire summer so I understand that she hasn't been able to, but she hasn't called or anything. She DID contact me via facebook chat while we were both on but our conversation was so cordial !! We have serious talks, but I've never had one like that especially with her, my friend of 8 years. I felt like I was in a business meeting. I get the impression she doesn't want to be friends, or she just wants to drag this thing out for as long as she can. One of her things to complaints about me was that she feels like whenever I get a guy, I dissappear. That may have been true for my first relationship, but I thought we had worked through that. Since then, I've tried not to do that, I've only had 2 bfs since I've known her. With the second bf, I saw less of him and more of HER actually, because I would only see the guy once a week if that. He was also one of her friends that SHE told me I should go for. I didn't want anything romantic to happen between me and "lunch friend" at all and it didn't! We were plutonic and we were both bored, and he randomly asked me to go eat. Apparently he had feelings for me and I didn't know, and he told my friend. I of course said "um no, and I don't have feelings for U" when he asked me what I thought about us, and also said we probably shouldn't talk to each other anymore. I'm wondering if she's ever going to want to be friends again, or is she playing some game with me! How long does it take to get over being mad ??
shunter Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 It is soo normal for you to get a guy and disappear. Yeah it sucks for her, but she would do the same for you. Are you sure she doesnt have a guy?? She must... because this makes no sense. If you are sure she doesnt then you need to approach her like you are approaching us and find out whats really going on
Author wierdmunky Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 It is soo normal for you to get a guy and disappear. Yeah it sucks for her, but she would do the same for you. Are you sure she doesnt have a guy?? She must... because this makes no sense. If you are sure she doesnt then you need to approach her like you are approaching us and find out whats really going on Actually yes, she does have a guy, that she has been on and off with for I think 5 years or something and are currently "on". I think she might be using this as an excuse to show how she really feels about me.. She had told "lunch guy" (who told me when we were talking about this whole thing -- he said/decided screw not talking to each other if she is mad at us) that she already wanted to talk to me about how I'm not there for her enough, and how we only hang out to pass the time. He said she had issues with me before. She didn't bring a lot of this up in our convo of her needing space though. Should I wait longer? How can I get her to open up to me? We used to talk at least every other day, and I think it's ironic that she needs space when I'm not there enough for her. I def don't want to be a bugaboo either so I am GIVING her the space.
green_tea Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 She's mad at you because you had lunch with one of her male friends? I just don't see what is wrong with that, especially as she already has a bf herself, so it's not like she thought you were going after someone she had her eye on. She doesn't sound like much of a friend if she behaves like this.
Author wierdmunky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 She's mad at you because you had lunch with one of her male friends? I just don't see what is wrong with that, especially as she already has a bf herself, so it's not like she thought you were going after someone she had her eye on. She doesn't sound like much of a friend if she behaves like this. Yes, her male friend, is supposedly one of her soulmates that she can't "be" with. She said it would have never worked out but they have this deep bond with eachother. I thought the same thing about her having a bf so I didn't think it was an issue either. We did go out to eat again and rented a movie we both were talking about, and again, after he told me he had feelings, i said we probably shouldn't be hanging out then. She says that "I should have known" that this would piss her off and the fact I didn't proves that I don't listen to her or pay attention etc. I know she loves him as a good guy friend, and the dating thing came out of the blue. I never even knew thats what was happening and she thinks i'm playing the air heard card.
green_tea Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 I still can't see why this would "piss her off" as she puts it... The only possible thing I can think of is maybe she was concerned about the guy friend being hurt by you or you leading him on. But you explained that you didn't know, and that once you did, you stopped hanging around with him - to me it sounds like you dealt with the situation really well! I'd forget about her and move on.. you don't sound like a very assertive person though...maybe for fear of conflict - but really you shouldn't put up with being treated this way especially by a so called friend. Stand up for yourself! Nobody else will - that is my motto.
lucky1399 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 "Discover how I got my ex back and never have to worry about relationship problems ever again: http://www.payzeno.com/a/[COLOR=#ff0033]ibtesam123[/COLOR]/19" The story is she is mad at me and needs space bc I went to lunch with one of her guy friends. She has been on vacation after vacay for almost the entire summer so I understand that she hasn't been able to, but she hasn't called or anything. She DID contact me via facebook chat while we were both on but our conversation was so cordial !! We have serious talks, but I've never had one like that especially with her, my friend of 8 years. I felt like I was in a business meeting. I get the impression she doesn't want to be friends, or she just wants to drag this thing out for as long as she can. One of her things to complaints about me was that she feels like whenever I get a guy, I dissappear. That may have been true for my first relationship, but I thought we had worked through that. Since then, I've tried not to do that, I've only had 2 bfs since I've known her. With the second bf, I saw less of him and more of HER actually, because I would only see the guy once a week if that. He was also one of her friends that SHE told me I should go for. I didn't want anything romantic to happen between me and "lunch friend" at all and it didn't! We were plutonic and we were both bored, and he randomly asked me to go eat. Apparently he had feelings for me and I didn't know, and he told my friend. I of course said "um no, and I don't have feelings for U" when he asked me what I thought about us, and also said we probably shouldn't talk to each other anymore. I'm wondering if she's ever going to want to be friends again, or is she playing some game with me! How long does it take to get over being mad ??
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