icemann12 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hey everyone, I am back, not for a good reason!!! I am still having trouble with this girl http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t195696/ that is the old story, since then, I kind of stopped talking to her for around 2 weeks when i had surgery and stuff, and was constantly mad at her for no reason, I am pretty sure it was out of my own frustration and all of the pressure that my friends had put on me to **** her, even though that wasnt my goal, it was to have something of a relationship, i dont hump and dump. Anyways, on sunday, i was talking to her and i ended up saying, "Hey wanna know something weird?" "ok" "i still like you" "really? are you sure?" "yea why is that weird for you?" "no im just surprised" "oh ok lol, well am i on my own here or am i been a creep" "no like i said im just surprised" so i dont know if she likes me or not, we are super good friends now..(FRIEND ZONE UH OH) but i really really like her, she just got me a job where she works, shes amazing, but it seems like since i told her that, we were supposed to hang on tuesday night, and she ended up going into work when she wasnt scheduled, and tonight i worked with her and we got off at the same time but she left 10 minutes early and didnt wait up, said she was miserable and wanted to go to bed, so of course i said ok, now im still texting with her though, and that was an hour ago. i just idk, should i ask her straight up if she feels weird, or try to get her to out again with me? i asked her out for this weekend and she said if she has time then maybe... she wont give me a straight answer and its really getting to me. idk what to do please help, if you need any further details dont hesitate to ask me! thanks in advance.. Icemann
GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Man up. Just talk to her, put your self out there and have a mature honest conversation. If she is not there then move on, if she is you have relationship. Either way you start to move forward and stop being in limbo.
Author icemann12 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 Man up. Just talk to her, put your self out there and have a mature honest conversation. If she is not there then move on, if she is you have relationship. Either way you start to move forward and stop being in limbo. how so though? like ive already told her before and on sunday, i like her, the last time this happened, she said she liked me but didnt wanna lose me as a friend either, so its confusing, i have put myself out there, i guess i just need a more up front way of doing it, a way that will make her have to say something, but im honestly out of ways, hence why im asking for help, its killing me...
GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 how so though? like ive already told her before and on sunday, i like her, the last time this happened, she said she liked me but didnt wanna lose me as a friend either, so its confusing, i have put myself out there, i guess i just need a more up front way of doing it, a way that will make her have to say something, but im honestly out of ways, hence why im asking for help, its killing me... Tell her you want a relationship beyond friendship. It seems like she i leading you on, saving you for backup. She seem to like you stroking her ego. You deserve all those great feeling with someone who is open to them and giving you them back. I hope its her but if she can not commit you will always be chasing her.
Author icemann12 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 Tell her you want a relationship beyond friendship. It seems like she i leading you on, saving you for backup. She seem to like you stroking her ego. You deserve all those great feeling with someone who is open to them and giving you them back. I hope its her but if she can not commit you will always be chasing her. Yeah, so probably its something i should do in person if i can get her to come out this weekend, or even if im hanging out at her house with her and her kid, which i do a lot
Author icemann12 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 ok so shes definitely avoiding hanging with me now i dont know what i did, she talked to me nonstop till i said i like her, now today at 12, we have class together and she didnt go so on my way home i said you can come over for a few hours if you want, and she said i cant i have to pick my son up at 3....her son is 20 minutes away, so i think shes clearly avoiding seeing me and i dont know why... its getting to me though, what to do.
BCCA Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 "ok" "i still like you" "really? are you sure?" "yea why is that weird for you?" "no im just surprised" "oh ok lol, well am i on my own here or am i been a creep" "no like i said im just surprised" Notice what she didnt say? "I like you too" or something similar. Often times, we get more caught up on what people do say, but whats left out is equally important, especially with women, who tend to be indirect. She had an easy chance to say she felt the same way, and if she was interested, she would have. Shes not. Shes avoiding you because she feels guilty, and its easier to avoid than it is to deal with you pinning over her, especially if you put her on the spot. What to do? Leave her be, go on with other things.
Author icemann12 Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Notice what she didnt say? "I like you too" or something similar. Often times, we get more caught up on what people do say, but whats left out is equally important, especially with women, who tend to be indirect. She had an easy chance to say she felt the same way, and if she was interested, she would have. Shes not. Shes avoiding you because she feels guilty, and its easier to avoid than it is to deal with you pinning over her, especially if you put her on the spot. What to do? Leave her be, go on with other things. that really ****in blows man, cause i know she did like me, and my problem has always been that ill have a good situation and ill just **** it up by not acting on it cause im nervous. i know she loves having me as a friend, but if she used to like me too, isnt there some type of feeling thats still left? or have i just ****ed myself again, like always.. you gotta be kidding.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 She likes you as a friend. If she liked you more she would have came right and said she felt the same when you told her you wanted something more.
Author icemann12 Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 yea i already knew that, it just sucks though i like her a looooot, and this isnt the only time ive messed up a chance based on the fact that im too shy to make a move and what not..i guess there is nothing i can do, oh well, maybe i should just man up and stop acting like a 12 year old..
xpaperxcutx Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 yea i already knew that, it just sucks though i like her a looooot, and this isnt the only time ive messed up a chance based on the fact that im too shy to make a move and what not..i guess there is nothing i can do, oh well, maybe i should just man up and stop acting like a 12 year old.. And try not to be so desperate. It'll save you time from endless pursual that will get you nowhere.
torranceshipman Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 She isn't interested in you romantically, but it sounds like she's a nice girl and she's trying to be a friend and save your feelings by giving you vague answers instead of out and out saying she does't like you...she's definitely not interested based on the stuff that you've posted...
stillafool Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 i asked her out for this weekend and she said if she has time then maybe... she wont give me a straight answer and its really getting to me. Iceman this doesn't sound good. You told her you still liked her and going out with you this weekend would give you two a chance to talk and get back together. If she were interested in that she would jump at the chance to reconnect. I know she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and potentially lose you as her good friend. I bet she was delighted that the two of you were still friends after the break. I think you should move on and distance yourself from her as it doesn't seem she still has romantic feelings for you.
BCCA Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 that really ****in blows man, cause i know she did like me Divorce courts are full of people who used to like eachother. Feelings change, people change. but if she used to like me too, isnt there some type of feeling thats still left? Yeah, the feeling of wanting to be your friend, which is not what you want. She doesnt have romantic feelings, but she still cares to some extent. Romantic feelings generally never come back, though. or have i just ****ed myself again, like always.. Its not your fault bro, things just happen this way sometimes. There are instances in life where nothing you could have done would have helped, but being guys - 'fixers' that we are - this concept is hard to grasp. You cant do any more, though, it is what it is.
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