Bearandsue Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I was reading on a forum about having access to your SO's email passwords or passwords to their social networking accounts. I have access to all of my hubby's accounts and he has access to all of mine. It was done initially to show that we each had nothing to hide. Just wanted to get your thoughts on this. Do you have access or do you think it is crossing a line/ invasion of privacy?
hoping2heal Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 My partner has access to all my stuff, he didn't have to ask. I offered it. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, I have nothing to hide. I'm not sure what he could invade? lol. I mean, we are going to be married one day and I'm worried about him seeing my junk mail? He doesn't even check or look at those things anyway, but he know should he EVER have a doubt..
Rollercoasterr Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 There's a funny story about this, actually... When Mathew and I first got together my ex kept breaking into my myspace and email accounts and when I found out I went crazy. I asked Mathew if he thought he could guess my passwords(or something like that I can't quite remember), and then the next thing I know he's all like "ummm...yeah. I'm never logging into your email again!". When I asked him what was wrong he told me that in my email box there was a message from theknot.com about an account that had been set up for him and I. This was way before any talks of marriage had happened so you can imagine my mortification when I found that I had overlooked this. Turns out that my ex had created that account, and then sent wedding invites to everyone in my address book. I don't really know what he thought he was going to accomplish from this, but I'm pretty sure that it went into everyones junk email box because no one but my sister asked me about it. But aside from being initially embarrassing, Mathew and I laughed about it 5 minutes later. I've changed my passwords since. But Mathew still knows them. I have asked him before to check my email for me to get something out of it, and I've done the same for him. His passwords are really complex so I couldn't remember his email password even if I wanted to, but he's never ever had a problem checking his email when the laptop is sitting in my lap. We just have that kind of trust. He does log onto my facebook ALL THE TIME. But it's only to play that MazeDefense game. I have one awesome maze that I've never seen. :bunny:
KikiW Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I have access to my SOs email and FB. I THINK he has my passwords too, but I don't think he uses them. Yes, it's not like I have anything to hide, and if he really wants to search for emails where I talked about my STBex with a GF, he's more than welcome but it's kind of old news.
Author Bearandsue Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 See I look at it like just like we share everything else we share our emails. He reads my emails and I read his. To us its not a big deal. I have a crazy story though. One time when he went on his yearly fishing trip into the wilderness of Canada and had no way if calling me for 5 days. I got really bored so...I read his emails and saw a e-mail in his junk folder from one of his ex girlfriends. You know the kind of email where you broke up with someone and you are kinda regretting it and you wanna see if you you can get back together emails....yeah So as I said I was bored and lonely so I deleted it. Then I came to my senses after a couple of hours. I tried to find it in the deleted messages so that I could un-delete but since it was in the junk mail it was gone forever. I felt so bad about it as soon as he called it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. I felt so bad and I was so worried but he just laughed and called me a psycho stalker. He teases me about it every chance he gets. But he has never changed his password, we have never had an argument about it. Well except he says if I sign him up for FARMVILLE on face book he will change all his passwords. I need neighbours gosh darn it!
sweetjasmine Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I have a few of his passwords since he's asked me to check things for him before, but he doesn't have any of mine. I don't read his emails or log into his accounts unless he asks me to, and even then, I don't look around. I don't have anything to hide from him, but I wouldn't want him going through my email account. Sometimes friends say things to me in confidence when they rant about their personal lives, and I feel like it'd be a betrayal of their trust to share it with my SO.
Maggs Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 It's never really been discussed between us to be honest. I just have this week, his password to facebook cause he can't get online where he is so I've been playing his daily games for him I check my email and vice versa all the time in front of him. Neither of us having anything to hide. I think as soon as you start being sneaky about text messages, msn, email--as in, walking away to read them or closing them down when your SO walks in--then you start planting that seed of doubt.
SophieA Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I absolutely do NOT have access to his email/facebook nor does he to mine. I see no need for that. Everyone is entitled to their own privacy. If you trust someone, there is no need for that type of intrustion. Plus, what happens if he wants to surprise you with a bday gift/engagment ring/what have you and you have access to his acct- and he orders it online? Surprise spoiled.
quankanne Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Farmville?!!! LOL ... the beginning of our marriage was a lot like y'alls, where we were separated by distance because of his work. I had to memorize his social security number, learn his banking info/passwords, and help set up certain credit accounts, so yeah, I had access to all DH's stuff. now that we've got a computer at home, I'm the one who sets up his accounts because I've got more experience on the computer, so I know his passwords to those as well. In fact, the only one I DON'T know is to his ATM card, but that's cool. not sure if he knows my passwords, but I'm happy to share if he ever asked because I don't feel like there's anything to hide. when I write, however, I tend to be very bad about not wanting the world to see my scribblinigs, so I hide my work from him. He just teases me that I write about old boyfriends! my guess is that especially because you're apart and there's a chance that you will have to deal with his business on behalf from time to time, it's a smart move to have access to each other's passwords and account information. Anything past that is a trust thing ... the more you trust, the stronger a basis you build for your marriage, IMO.
northstar1 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I don't see why there is a need to exchange these at all unless you need to access something for them.
Island Girl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I use a computer (obviously) and he doesn't. Actually he can't - has no idea how to operate one and is too concerned about being a bull in a china shop (breaking it with his huge fingers and not knowing his own strength LOL). I set up FB for him -- he is a neighbor on Farmville!! LOL Bearandsue PM me if you'd like... So he has an e-mail, FB page, etc. But I set them up, I maintain them, and he couldn't do it if he wanted to. My stuff - well, I'd give him access if he wanted but limited because LS is MY place for support etc. and I won't give up my ability to seek support or vent about him just like I wouldn't record when I meet up with friends and we discuss our relationships, etc.
Lovin a scrapper Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Rayette and I set up an email account for us to use as our primary one but have maintained our prior ones for various reasons. We have not asked for passwords for them but agreed if one of us wants it then they are welcome to have it. Personally, I would rather not have hers and she has expressed the same with mine. We both have the same thoughts as Sophie cause we buy online all of the time and the surprise would be shot if I or she had email access. Also we agree with IG. There should be a private/semi private place that we can vent to our friends on certain things. Plus we use yahoo messenger conference chat with our kids and we really dont want to set up new accounts for that. The same goes with Facebook or Myspace. I really have no desire for access to hers nor her mine but we would gladly grant that access if one or both of us wanted that. Now speaking of those two social networks, I would love to add any of you to either one of them. You would get a better chance to know me and Rayette that way. If you want you can PM me and if you cant PM, let me know and Ill get you added somehow. I really think that would be fun.
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